Page 18 of Bound By Obsession

It’s not the worst idea, but I’m already popping the door open. Avery tiptoeing around a parking lot in the middle of the night is just asking for trouble.

Huxley:Don’t you dare move.

The motel room door opens as I step onto the mat, but it’s not Avery standing there. Dax is fully dressed with his sneakers tied. Prying the keys from my hand, he pats my shoulder. “Let someone else have a turn at being the hero.” Exiting, Dax strolls over to the SUV and takes my place. I watch him with my browsfurrowed. Is that what everyone thinks I’m doing - stubbornly taking on the role as Avery’s hero in the hopes for some praise. Wait, is that what I’m doing?

“M-m-my butt,” Avery groans from the bed. “It’s s-so cold.” I swiftly close the door. Two steps into the room and with my T-shirt lifted several inches up my body, Avery’s hand flies into the air. “Wait! There’s a cost for getting in this bed.”

“A cost?” I echo, fully frowning now. The hand that halted me fists with one finger left pointing. I follow its direction, noting a Styrofoam container on a wonky plastic table.

“We were going to invite you but you were asleep. So I got you a doggy bag instead.” Avery says nonchalantly and rolls over in bed. My gut drops. I was supposed to be keeping watch, and theyleft, got food and snuck back in. What a shit lookout I am.

And more than that, how could Dax of all people be so reckless? He’s meant to be as level-headed as me. But then I hear Avery shuffling around, wiggling her butt in the air for my attention and I instantly know how Dax let himself slip. Avery is a minx, and she always gets her own way every damn time. I mean, look at us, wrapped around her little finger.

“You can get in the bed once you’ve eaten,” she purrs. I hear her smirk and visualize her bobbing eyebrows through the darkened room.

“You’ve tricked me.” My voice is thick. It’s no longer just the boy’s betrayal churning my gut but also the food I’m now having forced upon me. I turn to face out of the window, peering the outline of my SUV through threadbare curtains. That’s why Dax left. He knew Avery could make me stop and care for myself when his demands couldn’t. Best intentions or not, I’ll beat him for it in the morning.

For the longest time, Avery remains in bed. Snug and safe beneath the covers, watching on intently. She doesn’t rush me. Slowly, I settle into a chair that creaks beneath my weight. That’sa feat, considering the muscle mass I’ve lost. I pop the container, instantly hit with the smell of fast food. A club sandwich and fries. It curdles my stomach, filling my senses as I try to breathe my way through it. Tentatively, I take a small bite and chew it for far too long. When did something so simple become so triggering?

“You’re doing amazingly,” a gentle voice comes from across the room. There’s not a trace of sarcasm or judgment in Avery’s tone. Only pure acceptance. My heart lifts and a grin spreads across my face, hopeful that she can keep this up. Pushing me along the road of recovery whilst I’m dragging my feet. I know I can’t lean on her too hard, can’t depend on her to help me if I won’t help myself.

Avery waits a whole ten minutes before moving to join me, sitting opposite to eat the other half of the sandwich I’ve started pushing around the box. Baby steps are better than nothing, I suppose. After I fail to suppress a yawn, Avery curls her hand beneath my bicep and tugs me over to the bed. I stand beside the mattress, breathing heavily through my nose. There’s no hesitation as Avery undresses me piece by piece. I don’t stop her, despite my instinct to squirm and shy away. I’m a fraction of the man I used to be. Of who I’m supposed to be. Soft fingers lift to the rounded, pink scar below my collar bone.

“I’ll help you heal,” she declares. I take her hand in mine.

“It’s already healed.” Bringing her knuckles to my lips, Avery tilts her head with a hidden roll of her eyes.

“Not internally.” I feel the guilt she still holds. What I wouldn’t give to take it from her, to make her understand I’d take that bullet a thousand times if it means she’s unharmed. The feelings we started to build on haven’t lessened, but they haven’t had a chance to thrive either. Avery follows my train of thought. “I’m still here for you.”

“I know.”

Cementing a clear boundary, Avery lifts the oversized T-shirt, which smells like Dax, over her head and leaves her underwear in place. Crawling into the bed, I take my cue. She feels incredible, her warmth soaking into my front. Slipping an arm beneath her head, I hug Avery tightly, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair and skin. She’s just as smooth as I remember, just as perfect.

“I’ve missed this,” I admit quietly. Avery shifts onto her side and leans into my chest. My hand dives into her long hair, our lovers embrace easing a lump in my chest. “Thank you, Little Swan.” Slowly, brick by brick, my wall starts to disintegrate. That distance I’d put between us, thinking it was what Avery wanted, seems irrelevant now. She called and I came running straight back. “I’ll make the effort to be better.”

“I don’t need you to be better, Hux. I just want you to be yourself again. I miss your smile. The way it lights up the lighter flecks in your eyes. I want to hear your laughter.” She’s not the only one. I miss smiling too.

“I’m getting there. This helps.” Pressing my lips against her temple, I settle into the rhythm of Avery’s breathing, surprised with how quickly sleep takes me.

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on Peach, you have to! It’s truth or dare, not‘truth or if you feel like it’.” Garrett whines from the passenger seat, turned all the way round to face me. I cross my arms defiantly and shake my head.

“There’s no way I’m gonna sit here butt-naked for the entire journey. I’ll take a forfeit.” Garrett’s eyes darken and I gulp loudly, wondering if I should have just done the damn dare. Axel whistles low from the seat beside me.

“Alright, fine.” Garrett smirks. “Flash the next vehicle.” He points at my window. Rolling my eyes, figuring it’s not as bad as it could have been, I shift up onto my knees and lift my top, pushing my breasts against the cold glass. A truck passes, the driver’s eyes popping out of his skull as he hollers and beeps hishorn. Cheers fill the SUV, the boy’s loud whooping drowning out my giggle as I re-adjust myself into my bra and settle back into the leather seat.

“Your turn, Garrett. Truth or dare.” He replies dare without hesitation, practically bouncing in his seat. Looking around the moving car and across the backseat to Dax, who shrugs uselessly at me, I see a Cheeto roll out from under Huxley’s driver’s seat. I managed to get him to have a handful for breakfast this morning, or so I’d thought. Maybe he just hid them all under his seat. Lifting it to inspect the orange cheesy stick, there’s enough hair and fluff stuck around to make it perfect.

“Eat this,” I lean forward to hand to Garrett. Without a second’s hesitation, he throws the chip into his mouth and swallows, making us all gag. “Ew!” I squeal, suddenly very aware I’ve had my tongue in that mouth multiple times and I don’t know what else he’s had in there. Garrett smiles widely at a shuddering Axel, possibly thinking the same, and winks back at me. It’s Dax’s turn to play next, to which he chooses truth.

“Pussy,” Garrett mutters. “Okay then. What’s your biggest regret in life?” Dax tilts his head to stare out the window, staying silent for so long I don’t think he’ll answer.

“Seeing the most important woman in my life in harm’s way, and doing nothing to stop it.” He finally says in a tiny voice. Axel’s concerned gaze catches mine in a side glance. Reaching over him to grip Dax’s bicep, I pull him over to rest his head in Axel’s lap. That way, I can stroke his hair and bend over to kiss his forehead. I only know a little of Dax’s past, the way his mother raised him to be both empathetic and strong, with a mention of various boyfriends in her life. Did someone hurt her, and worse, was a young Dax forced to watch? I swallow against the lump in my throat, not wanting the answers as much as I need to know them. Now isn’t the time. Dax is quiet but there’sso much torment behind his blue eyes. I’ll speak to him properly when we’re next in private.

For the time being, I settle for stroking his afro through my fingers, driving in silence until Garrett reaches over to turn up the radio. Dax’s eyes have fluttered shut, although I reckon he’s more in deep thought than sleeping, giving me a chance to study him up close. His square-shaped jaw chiseled from granite, the thick eyelashes fanning his cheeks, his skin is a smooth shade of mocha. I don’t drink coffee often but I’d take a Venti of Dax any day of the week. Axel catches me staring, his expression too knowing.

Refocusing on the landscape outside, I find we’ve entered a small town. Each building is a different color, signs hanging from each doorway to show a particular trade. The road is tarmacked in various places, only to patch up the potholes where and when needed. There’s a handful of people on each sidewalk and not many cars on the road, making our stark-white SUV stick out like a nun in a brothel. Heads turn as we pass, children staring at us like aliens.

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