Page 85 of Baby Duke

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Roe

Ten days later

I haven’t left my room in days. Hours. Months. Seconds. Centuries. Time has no meaning anymore.

The blinds are sealed tight, my blanket is warm, and I am cocooned in my dark little nest.

My chest hurts. I am numb. It’s a confusing and complicated feeling and I can't help but push it down, down, down.

I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to remember.

But I do.

"This is how I break you.”

I feel his hot breath on my neck even now as he leaned in close, the disgustingly sweet stench of apricots sizzling my nose hairs.

I can smell it now.

For the dozenth time, I throw off my blanket and rush to the bathroom, shoving my head down the toilet bowl before I retch into it. My stomach muscles clench painfully as theytry to force out the contents of my stomach, which is nothing but bile at this point.

After flushing and washing out my mouth, I am back in my cocoon. Back to not thinking. Back to barely existing. To wishing I wasn't. To nothing.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Roe

Tap, tap, tap!

"Roe? You have a guest."

The door to my bedroom opens quietly, and I say the same singular word I have every other time a guest has come by. East with her misdirected guilt. Law with his jokes. Brett with his silence. Trent with a joint. Felix with his mother's baking. West with his regret.

"No.”

The door closes again with a soft click.

And I feel nothing.

Suddenly, a weight lands on the bed beside me. I cringe, my heart stuttering in my chest. No. Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me.

A loud huff brings me back to myself, and I roll over and come face to face with the saddest, goofiest face I have ever seen.

"Captain Floof."

My voice is little more than a croak as I open my nest, and Captain Floof lies beside me. I throw the blanket backover the both of us and snuggle close to the giant puppy dog.

He is warm and breathing and slightly smelly, if I am being honest, but I love it. I love him.

"I missed you," I whisper.

Suddenly, an overwhelming wave of emotion explodes inside of me. I groan and cry into Captain Floof's giant, furry mane. The shame, anger, despair, desperation, and loneliness all burst through the shattered remains of the walls I had sticky taped and super glued closed. I wasn't supposed to heal that way. Iwasn'thealed at all. I was ignoring the pain. Pushing it away and sealing it as tight as I could.

I was lying to myself.

As the pain overwhelms me, I clutch tighter at Captain Floof's fur, my tears slowly seeping into his fur. He endures it calmly, snuffling at my hair, nudging at my head with his nose until I turn to face him. He licks my tears away and waits patiently as I cleanse my soul.

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