Page 86 of Baby Duke

The following morning, I wake with a heavy and hot weight half suffocating me to death.

I push at the giant dog and throw off my blanket, my body temperature cooling too quickly and covering my body in goosebumps. I get to my feet anyway and head to the bathroom.

For the first time in days, I turn on the shower. I undress, but I refuse to look at myself.

And then I freeze.

I am naked. Bare. Wholly vulnerable.

A soft knock sounds at the bedroom door, and Captain Floof woofs softly and trots to the door. But I am still frozen by the mirror, my breathing getting shallower and shallower, my chest tighter and tighter.

I. Can't. Breathe.

"Roe?"

His voice barely registers, but I know the deep baritone.

"Roe?" he is closer than before. Standing right behind me now. His breath was warm on my shoulder.

"Let me help you, Roe," he whispers. "Please."

I nod, slowly at first, then faster.

"Help me," I cry helplessly.

West doesn’t touch me to start with. Instead, he walks around me and turns the shower tap off. Without turning back to face me, he leans over the bath and turns that on instead. He stays facing away from me as the bath fills withsteaming water. He doesn’t add bubbles or oils, and I am secretly thankful. I don't think I could ever smell anything excessively sweet again without needing to hurl.

Finally, the bath is full, and he turns off the tap.

Then he turns to face me.

Instinctively, I hunch my shoulders and wrap my arms around my chest. But he isn’t looking at my body.

He is looking at my eyes.

He holds out a hand and waits patiently for me to take it. After taking a deep breath, I do. He steadies me as I step into the hot water. It’s almost too hot, but that’s perfect.

I sit and relax as best as I can against the porcelain tub. West squats beside me.

"May I?" he asks, holding up my purple loofah sponge.

I nod and close my eyes.

He doesn’t touch me with his skin like he knows how much my own is crawling right now at the very thought of it. No, he very carefully runs the sponge along my body. He starts with one foot, up to my knee, then does the other. Then he moves to my hands, arms, and shoulders. Slowly, ever so slowly, my mind eases, and I feel my muscles loosen in response.

"Lean forward," West whispers.

I do, concentrating on my breathing as I hug my knees to my chest. West runs the sponge along my spine and outwards. Then his finger accidentally grazes my shoulder blade.

We both freeze.

"I-" he gulps nervously. "I’m sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's ok," I interrupt in a whisper that is barely there. But he hears it. "Do it again."

He hesitates. Then his fingers are lightly running along my spine, goosebumps trailing in their wake. I can't stop myself from flinching.

"That is enough for today," West says. He steps away from the tub and grabs me a fresh towel from beneath the vanity and places it where I can reach. "I will leave this for you here. I'm going to take Chaos- I mean, Captain, outside for a little while. You can join us… if you would like?"

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