Page 72 of A Debt of Darkness

“Ivy?”

Henry hasn't changed. He isn't nice, except to me. He’s cruel and harsh, demanding and relentless. But he isn't cold.He softens for me. When I need him to. When it's right and not because I'm giving up. He's kind, generous and considerate. Caring.

He adores me and maybe I adore him. He pushes but never too hard, and perhaps I'm insane but I like it. I want more with him and I want to please him. I like it when he pleases me. Maybe I've lost my mind, but in a world where nothing seems real, he's the only thing that makes any sense. The only thing I want to make sense.

As wrong as I thought this was, it isn't.

It's right.

It's going to take time.

It's going to take trust.

We're both going to have to work at it and we'll both need to want it.

“What do we do now?” I ask.

Henry stares and his mouth drops a little. “What do you want to do, Ivy?”

“Are you giving me a choice?

His head tilts and he seems sad. Resigned to telling me something that'll break my heart.

“Neither of us has a choice,” he says. “One way or the other, we were going to come together and our fate has always been sealed. But I choose you, Ivy. I choose you to be my home. Choose me. Let me keep you safe. Let me treasure you. Let me worship you.”

My voice is a whisper in a storm of chaos. “I'm scared.”

Henry pulls me against him and it's over. The fear melts away and the doubt vanishes. He’s my port in a storm and the ground beneath my feet. He’s stable, constant, and sure—and I choose him. Even if I don’t have any real choice.

I am safe.

I am protected.

I am where I want to be.

I don’t know if the rhythm of my heart changes or if there’s something else, but Henry relaxes a little. I’m getting everything I need and more, and he’s providing the reassurance I need.

“How old are you?”

Henry's fingers play with my hair.

“Too old. I stopped counting years ago.” He laughs a little. “Ryan and I were old when we saw Rome fall.”

I sigh and rest against him, letting his arms wrap around me as I close my eyes. This is difficult, but it's nice and my anxiety eases as he holds me steady. We sit and minutes pass in silence, listening to the pounding of my heart as it beats hard enough for us both.

“Ivy, I need to know. Please. I can't be without you. I can't carry on like this. Tell me what I need to do. Just tell me. “

I draw back and his gaze is intense. A cacophony of emotions screaming he needs an answer.

My fingertip presses into his chest, over where his heart should be beating. I flick my eyes up to meet his and blink, deciding this has gone on long enough. I drop my gaze and push harder, watching as my finger digs in.

“This.” I close my eyes and know it's true. “You’re my home and I’m staying here.”

21

WHAT IS SHE DOING?

HENRY

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