Page 55 of A Debt of Darkness

She isn’t ready to hear it, but I’ve known from the moment I saw her. I tried pretending otherwise, tried ignoring it. I resigned myself to having a mate, only to pretend I hated her. It all failed. Miserably.

“I wanted to look after myself,” she sobs against me. “I never meant to hurt anyone.”

Fuck, it’s breaking my heart.

Ivy hasn’t hurt anyone. She hasn’t done anything wrong.She’s done exactly what anyone else would in her situation. What I would do. And it’s only brought her pain. She’s been fighting an impossible battle and I’ve dragged her back under when she’s beginning to emerge.

I’ve been a complete and utter fool.

I’ve risked everything for nothing.

Matt lifts his head and shakes his head. At both of us. Ryan’s on the verge of lashing out at me, despite my position and our connection. Ivy’s falling to pieces and Matt’s building a bridge to bring us back together after I almost tore us apart.

“I was teaching Ivy that strength doesn’t always win a fight,” he says. “Skill, speed, or being smarter than your opponent win most of them. Ivy isn’t physically strong, but she’s perfectly capable of holding her own.”

Ryan’s still pissed. I don’t blame him. I would be too, and I’m going to have to swallow my pride on this one. It was my mistake and it’s my responsibility to fix it.

“On the other hand,” Matt says, grinning at Ryan. “She’s got a wicked right hook. She’d benefit from some of Ryan’s lessons.”

This is the bridge Matt’s building.

He’s offering Ryan the chance to strengthen his relationship with Ivy and for me to show I trust them both to protect her. She’s the center of his plan and it’ll help her. It’ll give her something to do and build her confidence as well as her ability.

It’s perfect.

It’s a fucking gift. To me. To Ivy.

From my friend I almost murdered minutes ago.

Ryan glares at me and Ivy’s sobs escalate. She needs reassurance and I can’t leave her like this. It isn’t fair. It isn’t reasonable. She doesn’t understand what’s going on aroundher and she’s descending into panic.

Matt nudges Ryan and he tips his head back, resigned to letting his partner get his way. Matt strokes Ryan’s face and drags his finger down his neck, and I hold Ivy against me to stop her from watching Matt as he bites his partner. Ryan grabs Matt’s wrist and they’re feeding from each other, renewing their bond and deepening their connection.

It's beautiful to watch. Intimate. Moving. They’re exchanging emotions and memories as their blood flows from one to the other, as their relationship strengthens.

One day, Ivy and I will have this. Once she’s mine and after she’s turned. When she’s ready and not before. When she’s certain and made her choice, freely. In the way Ryan and I were denied.

They pull away and Ryan’s calmer. He’s grounded again. He’s reassured Matt’s his and is safe. Ryan’s found his home and Ryan’s certain he’s safe.

Ryan’s eyes sharpen and focus as we lock gazes. Mine offer him an unconditional apology and he accepts, returning his unconditional loyalty. Our bond is restored, just as he’s replenished his with Matt. They have what I hope to build with Ivy, and Ryan’s eyes soften as they drop to Ivy, recognizing that she is to me as Matt is to him.

“I’d be delighted,” he says, wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth. “Ivy and I should get to know each other. Properly.”

She sobs and her fingernails dig into my sides. She’s more terrified of Ryan than she’s been letting on and yet again, her bravery’s landed her in trouble.

I need to rescue her.

Ryan tips his head and gives me the nudge I need.

“Ivy,” I whisper. “You’re okay. It’s over.”

She shakes her head against me, and my hands run overher, trying to soothe her. She’s trembling and her little heart is racing, as my mate holds for me, needing more than I’m giving her. Her nails dig in even harder and her head nuzzles against me.

“Master.”

It’s so soft I shouldn’t hear it. I wouldn’t hear it if I wasn’t a vampire. It’s the scream for help as her barriers come down and she pleads for me to save her. It’s acceptance, forgiveness, and all her hopes and dreams rolled into a single word.

She means it. In a way that shatters everything I’ve ever known and means nothing will ever be the same again. She’s mine and I am hers, and for a second time, she’s found the courage to do the impossible.

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