Page 45 of A Debt of Darkness

“Please,” she whimpers. “Please, can I leave?”

Fuck.

If I had a beating heart, it’d be racing so chaotically I wouldn’t know if I was still alive. I take a step closer and force myself to keep my goddamn composure as I kneel beside her.

“I want to sleep. And eat. I want the pain to stop.”

I lean closer and stop myself from picking her up and carrying her away right now. I need to know exactly where we are. She’s done enough to leave here, but I need to know whether she’s accepted me as her Master.

“Let me take care of you.”

Ivy draws another stuttered breath and sobs as she exhales.

She’s misunderstood me.

Fuck, she thinks I’m demanding something more instead of giving her everything she wants. Ivy’s so damn used to being pushed that she’s missed the lifeline I’ve thrown her, and she’s still trying to swim her way to shore.

“You can trust me.”

Ivy stares at me like she wants to. Like it’s killing her not to. It’s as if she wants to trust me more than anything she’s ever wanted before. She’s in pain and, yet again, my words are interpreted as a challenge when they’re meant to provide reassurance.

“I can’t.”

Damn.

We’re heading backward. I’ve undone all the progress she’s made and now she’s lost again. This isn’t her fault. This is mine. It’s my mistake, my responsibility. I need to fix this, andI need to fix it fucking fast.

“Why not?”

My tone is relaxed and I’m anything but. I need her to tell me how to fix this. I need Ivy to help me. For a second time, the human girl who’s weaker than me needs to be strong enough to save us both.

“Because you’re lying.”

Her words cut like a knife and I hate myself because they’re true. She’s seen through all the pretense and Ivy’s figured out there’s something I’m holding back.

Matt was right.

Ryan was right.

Dammit, Ivy’s right.

She can’t trust me to provide for her when she knows I’m lying.

“You’re hiding something, Henry. Nothing here make sense. The castle. The wedding. The way you disappear and never eat. The goalposts keep moving and I can’t…”

Ivy’s voice fades away and her head sinks into the straw beneath her. She’s given up. She’s accepted her position. The impossible position I put her in that meant she couldn’t win. She couldn’t give me what I wanted because I didn’t give her what she needed.

This is my goddamn fault.

All of it.

And I’m going to spend the rest of my fucking life making it up to her.

“You can,” I whisper. “I promise things will be different. I promise I’ll tell you everything. Not today, not tomorrow. When you’re strong again. When you’ve eaten something. When you’ve had time to recover and you’re ready. Wheneveryou choose.”

Her eyes flick to mine and there’s a small spark of hope. It’s barely burning, but it’s fucking there and I refuse to let it extinguish. I swallow and she stares at me like it’s my turn to be brave. It’s my turn to make the leap of faith she made moments ago. She trusted me and now I need to trust her.

“Tell me what you want, Ivy. I’ll give you anything I can. Anything. Just ask.”

---