Page 94 of A Debt of Darkness

I failed and now I’m on the verge of breaking another promise. One I made to myself. One I never thought I’d have to break.

There’s often clarity in a crisis and this is mine. I’d do anything to keep her with me. Give anything. Break any and all rules or codes. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do and I’d face anything. I’d walk through the darkest night and valleys of hell for her—and if turning her without her permission is the price I pay to keep her, then my selfish heart knows it’ll do it without hesitation.

“Ivy, stay with me,” I plead.

It’s all I can do. I’m holding my wife and willing her to keep fighting. Praying she finds the strength to pull through this. Most wouldn’t. Most would have succumbed by now.

I pull her sweater back and watch her carotid, noting the faintest flicker of a pulse on her neck. Gods, she’s fighting and she’s slipping from me. Her breathing pattern changes and there’s no rhythm. She’s snatching breaths, gasping for air.

“Henry, I didn’t…”

“SHUT. UP.”

I don’t tear my eyes away from Ivy, staring transfixed as she fights to stay alive. Ryan needs my forgiveness and I don’t have time for it. Not right now and probably not ever. Ivy’s pulse flickers and her heart judders. Fuck, she’s on the verge of giving up and the agony of being this close to death has to be unbearable.

I lift her and sweep her hair back, cradling her headagainst my chest. I can’t wait much longer and my nerve won’t hold for more than a few seconds. She needs to start recovering or I’ll open my wrist and feed her, forcing her to drink until I’m certain she’ll turn.

She takes a deeper breath and I still.

Her heart jumps and she takes another deep breath.

Ivy’s turning the tide and she’s fighting back, refusing to let her life slip from her. Gods only know how she’s found the determination to claw herself back from the edge and my foolish pride flickers. She’s strong in ways that can’t be made and as her pulse steadies and her heart starts to pump with force, I wonder where she gets it.

My jaw ticks as I wonder if it’s from us.

I’d like to think it is but there isn’t time to indulge my hubris. Ivy’s still in danger and I wrap my arms around her, rocking her as I try to warm her fragile little body.

Ryan strips to his waist and offers me his clothes. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. His scent is faint but it isn’t mine and my possessiveness screams. It’s another abominable violation. But my head is smarter and Ivy needs their warmth, and begrudgingly I wrap them around her.

Ivy’s going to need medical care. Human medical care. We’d stocked up on supplies and Ryan made sure we had basic training. I doubt that includes blood transfusions. We’ve got a vast supply, but I don’t know if we can get it into her—and she’s lost too much to carry on for long.

“Get the doctor.”

Ryan’s on his feet and backs away, bowing his head as he retreats. He knows this isn’t done and he’s not forgiven. He stares one last time and turns, racing back towards the castle and leaving me holding Ivy.

“Why did you do it?” I whisper under my breath.

I stand and start carrying Ivy back, talking to her as I pay attention to her every movement. She warms a little but not as much as I’d like and although her heart’s still going, it’s far from strong. Ivy’s still loitering on the verge of another collapse and our progress isn’t as fast as it could be because I’m forced to stop and plead with her to keep fighting.

The terror washing through me is unlike any I’ve known. She could die and I can’t bear the thought of being without her. Turning her will save her, but I doubt she’d forgive me and the next few centuries would be agony. She’d suffer and I’d hate myself.

I’ve already made my decision and I keep watch, making sure she stays on the right side of near death. I can’t afford to make a mistake. Not when there’s this much at stake. Not when Ivy’s future depends on it.

We emerge from the woods and I carry her into the castle, relieved and afraid of what we’re going to face. She’s made it this far, but that’s no guarantee of survival and human life is fragile.

Ivy’s fought hard and now it’s my turn to fight the demons that haunt me and I’ll need the same strength as her to make it through tonight.

27

LEFT STANDING

HENRY

Istare at the video feed again, watching Ivy move around my bed. I refused to let her sleep anywhere but in my room. Even its comforts haven’t stopped her from being stiff and sore, and really fucking tired. The doctor assured me she’d sleep for the entire day, even after all the blood he’d given her.

Fuck, yesterday was close.

I’ve listened to the high-ranking coven members and I issue instructions. Like Rowan, we need to rebuild. Unlike him, we’ll be back to strength quickly and then we’ll take whatever goddamn steps are necessary to ensure we’re not caught off guard again. We need to be stronger and our security will be ramped up.

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