Page 65 of Claws of Death

“It takes time,” Tori said, eyes sincere and full of compassion. “And you’re not the only one suffering.”

He leaves it at that, even when I want to demand if Myron is in pain, physically the way I am, or if he means heartbreak. I want to ask. Want to know every last detail, yet I can’t bring myself to open my mouth.

“Talk to him,” Tori merely says. “No one knows better the ways he’s suffering than him.”

That takes all anger, all annoyance, all distraught emotions right out of me, and I inflate. “What if he no longer wants me?”

The words scatter on a breeze like they’ve never been spoken, and I hope they’ll never make it past the walls of this arena, but Tori lifts his gaze to the entrance where the guard has left his post, replaced by a figure in black leathers and the gravest face I’ve seen since I watched the inmates of Fort Perenis marched to the gallows.

Myron inclines his head at me. It’s all he does, but it sends a storm through the wasteland that is my heart.

My hand lifts on its own accord in a small wave. It’s more than I want to do and so much less than what he deserves.

“Maybe Silas doesn’t have all the answers to your questions,” Clio says as she locks her fingers with Tori, andtogether, they stand from the logs. Kaira hops off the tree trunks, holding out her hand to Clio as if begging.

“Take me with you when you go, will you?”

Clio’s fingers close around hers, and together, they site-hop away, leaving me alone with the one person I fear most.

Ayna

For long heartbeats,Myron just stands there as if he doesn’t own the silky voice I hear whenever I close my eyes.

“Have you ever wondered what happens if two fairies site-hop in different directions while holding hands?”

It’s not what I’d expected, but I’ll take it. At least, he isn’t asking if I’ve made up my mind whether I still want him.

Because I do. I’ll always want him. Just my body is confused, and I hate-hate-hate every last minute I’m hurting him.

The war in his eyes is killing me, so I decide not to watch. The ground in front of him isless dangerous.

“I suppose they’d end up separated?” I don’t mean to say it that way, but the words are out, and the uncomfortable silence stretching between us tells me he gets the double meaning.

“Perhaps.” His tone is light, the exact opposite of the painful knot forming in my stomach when I keep telling myself it would be so easy. That it’s all right to feel empty and still yearn for him. It’s all right to wonder if it’s better this way… “I suppose it depends on how strong they are and who is stronger.”

Stronger… Ha!I’m weak. Silas says it’s the un-mating symptoms messing with me, but my flesh is weak every time a male steps into the room. I hate it.

It will get better soon. Kaira is convinced, Silas is convinced—probably everyone but me is convinced.

“If one is stronger than the other, I guess the stronger partner will dictate the direction they’re going.”

Myron stops so abruptly I wonder if he is going to say something else—if hemeanssomething else—but he continues eventually, “If both are equally strong…”

I don’t give him time to make up his mind what might happen then. “They might never find the same path.”

Because that’s what happened to us. We were both strong. And now we ended up in separate places, the bond connecting us no longer durable enough to hold us together.

It’s all in your fucking mind,I tell myself.Give it a few days, and you’ll be fine. You won’t want to dry hump every other male, and you won’t shy away from your bonded partner anymore. You love him. You want him. There is no other person for you in the universe.

“Unless they decide they have a common destination.”

Fire burns in my stomach, flaring high at the question he’s posing. IfI’mwilling to meet him somewhere between where we used to be headed and where we’re headed now.

It hurts as fuck that I don’t have an answer.

“Is that something one can decide? What if it’s not us choosing our destinations? What if our paths have long been written in the stars?”

“What if it doesn’t matter because my love for you is stronger than the forces holding the stars in the skies?”

---