Page 42 of A Petal in the Crown

But as he raced back toward the castle, the ground trembled beneath him. An ominous rumble from deep within the earth’s crust. It felt like a warning, like the gods had heard his thoughts and were telling him that until Alaric was dead, there would be no peace.

Chapter 26

Lea

Lea placed another crescent shaped seed into the moist ground, row after row of them, dirt caking her fingernails and staining her dress at the knees. Seeing her mother—herbirthmother—had been too much. It was cruel the universe had taken Adelaide away—allowed her to believe Evangeline to be dead as well, only to reveal that she was the one who had been helping the king spread the Lonely Death further throughout the kingdom.

Gray was right. Lea couldn't blame her, not really. She surely hadn’t known the scale or size of what the king was planning, hadn't known that by serving him and doing his bidding, she had contributed to the devastation that plagued their kingdom. Evangeline had simply been trying to protect her daughter and biding her time, convinced there would come a day she would be able to kill the king herself.

Still, it felt like too much. Too much information. Too many moving pieces. She’d almost lost control earlier with Eudora. Could have easily killed her if she hadn’t morphed into her heron form and disappeared into the sky.Part of her wished she'd just done it—set her darkness free and allowed it to tear the witch apart limb from limb.

But the other half was relieved she'd held herself back. It was for the best that she hadn’t unleashed her magic in the middle of the dininghall, where she could have brought the entire castle down on their heads. Her magic was still overwhelming her. Even though Gray had helped her release it, she could feel it slowly building again, somehow angrier than before.

But here, planting her moonflowers outside in the eternal darkness, she felt—not calm exactly—but at least useful. The moonflowers flourished, blooming and creeping across the small plot of dirt Gray had taken her to so long ago to tend to. In what felt like a different lifetime. When she was a naïve girl with nothing but hope and optimism for the future. A girl who didn't have the magic of the gods threatening to eat her alive from inside.

She wasn’t any closer to controlling her magic now than she had been a month ago, and frankly, she was surprised she hadn't lashed out and killed Eudora before she’d even had a chance to speak.

Lea’s shadows surged at the thought, and she clenched her jaw, forcing them to return to her side.

"You must follow the darkness."

Lea froze, her eyes lifting from the soil to where Evangeline stood several yards away, her long blond hair unbound and blowing gently in the wind. Behind the scars, beneath the horrors that she had endured, she was beautiful. But noticing the similarities in their features cut into Lea's heart like a finely honed blade, carving the already mangled mass of muscle into a bloody, pumping mess.

"So I've heard." Lea looked down at the flowers, funneling as much magic as she could into them. They would be leaving soon. To where, she didn't know. But they were running out of time, and staying here would help nothing. Alaric surely wouldn’t be coming to them. But Lea felt responsible for providing enough moonflowers to keep their army safe and wasn’t comfortable leaving until they had a store ten times the amount they might need.

"Gray can't help me harvest the petals," Lea said flatly. "And if you haven't noticed, it doesn't seem like the darkness is ever going to end. I have no choice but to embrace it." Without taking her eyes off the vines, Lea lifted a hand and waved it to the dark sky. She tried to keep the bite out of her words, knowing deep down that she would have made the same choices as Evangeline to protect those she loved most, but some part of her was unable to let go of the anger she felt at the situation it had put them all in.

"That's not what I'm referring to. Your magic, the magic ofourancestors." Evangeline sighed, lifting a foot as if to step closer, but pausing. "May I?"

Lea shrugged, and Evangeline moved forward. It made Lea shiver, knowing that the witch had been able to feel her agreement without her saying a word. Evangeline didn’t touch her as she settled down into the dirt, crossing her ankles over one another to sit sideways. Her fingers trailed absently in the soil, the flowers closest to her growing even faster, sprouting off multiple buds and splitting. They worked in silence for a moment, in tandem, until the entirety of the land around them was covered in pristine,livingflowers. It took Lea’s breath away.

"What do you mean?" Lea finally asked, still refusing to look at Evangeline.

"I know how it feels to hold magic different from your own."

"The gods?" Lea finally looked up.

"Not as much as they gifted to you, but yes. A bit of their magic. But I'm mostly referring to Seraphine’s," Evangeline admitted.

"Eudora’s niece?" A ripple of disgust spread through Lea’s stomach at the thought of the traitorous bitch who had deceived them.

Evangeline nodded. "It’s how I was able to help the Black King. Eudora only gave me enough magic to strengthen my seeing abilities and to make a potion that would kill Brennus. But Seraphine? She gave itall—every last drop—in exchange for death." Evangeline pressed a hand to her chest. "It felt like it would rot me from the inside, like all it wanted was to escape from beneath my skin. It almost killed me. Foryears, I fought against it. It wasn't until I embraced it, made it a part of myself, that I was able to control it fully." Evangeline inhaled deeply through her nose. "It was like taking my first breath of fresh air after eons underwater. That darkness you’re feeling? You need to follow it. Embrace it."

Lea's heart pounded, picking up in rhythm at the idea of pulling her primary magic even deeper inside. All she’d done since the floor had broken during her battle with Alaric was try to compartmentalize it, attempt to make it as small as possible and hide it away. Lea thought she might throw up at the notion of doing the opposite.

"That's not who I want to be. The woman I am when the magic takes over. When I slip, everything else is gone. Every bit of anything good or kind," Lea admitted. "That's not who I want to be," she said again, louder, her heart racing at the thought that the only way to control that dark magic was to become it.

"But thatiswho you are. You are both of those things. You’re good and light,andyou are vengeance and darkness. They're both a part of you as much as your blood and bone. We cannot change what is inside us, as much as we may wish," Evangeline said, her lips tipping down. She reached out, placing a hand on top of Lea's. Lea froze, tears threatening to spill over her lashes, but she swallowed them down. She didn't want to cry.

Never again. She was weak enough already. Too out of control.

"There’s no shame in being who you were born to be. In embracing every piece that makes you who you are—even the parts the world may find disagreeable. Because they're not. Every facet of you has a purpose. Especially the ones that scare you."

Leafought back tears with shaking breaths. "And what if it destroys me?" she whispered, looking away, uncomfortable with this moment of vulnerability with a woman she didn't even know.

"The gods wouldn’t have given their power to you if it would destroy you. If they didn't know for certain you could claim it as your own, control it, and use it for good. You're the kingdom’s only hope, and they knew that.Youknow that."

Her words were gentle and soft, but still caused Lea's heart to pound. She knew Evangeline was right. Had known for some time that mastering her primary magic would require her to give into it, at least a bit.

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