Page 72 of A Petal in the Crown

Lea

There was something exceedingly odd about celebrating in the midst of chaos. Wildfires still sparked throughout the kingdom, and their armies were spread to every village to fight them and distribute the moonflowers. She’d been alerted by several tugs on her magic since the soldiers had left, showing her more villages attacked by Alaric. None of those visions had shown him, but somewhere, Alaric was out there, still hidden away and biding his time.

Yet here they were, warm from the wine and dancing, finding joy amidst the chaos. While the ceremony itself had been intimate with only the six of them, they’d invited several others to a reception following Erik and Janelle's vows. Vincent was there, along with Elise and several of Erik's closer friends.

Lea drank wine and ate sweets and smiled—some of which were even genuine—but an undercurrent of worry clouded the festivities. At any moment, everything could change.

While she was somewhat comforted by the fact that she’d been able to take a tiny sliver of Janelle's magic, she still wasn't confident she'd be able to take Alaric’s before it killed her. Sorrow settled beneath her breastbone.

Would Gray forgive her for hiding her plan from him? She had no choice. Evangeline had seen their future—seen them fail each and every time Gray found out what she was going to do. Shecouldn'ttell him, but the guilt still gnawed at her gut, relentless and agonizing. Even if he were to somehow agree to allow her to sacrifice herself, even if he conceded to staying behind, telling him would give Eudora the chance to see what she was planning. Keeping their options open, the possibilities endless, would give her an edge that they couldn’t afford to lose.

They needed every advantage they could find, and so even though it made her constantly feel like she was going to throw up, she had to continue to hide her plan from everyone—Gray, Janelle, Emma…

Emma. Who, as the party went on, seemed to sense that something was troubling her. Every few minutes, Lea’s skin prickled from the sensation of eyes on her. Emma hid her stare when Lea turned around, her brow creased with concern and her cheeks turning red as she realized she’d been caught. But even with her concerned looks and questioning eyes, she didn't pry. Never asked what was troubling her so deeply, as if she knew that their survival hinged on Lea keeping her troubles to herself.

Once again, she was painfully aware of her lack of mate bond with Gray, but in this instance, she was grateful. If he'd been able to feel what she was feeling, it would destroy him. Tears burned the back of her eyes as she realized these might be her final few days with him for quite a long time, but she pushed them down. Those thoughts weren’t helpful or productive. They wouldn’t change anything. But what she could do was make sure she spent as much time with him as possible before she set her plan in motion.

Scanning the room, she found him speaking with Vincent. A single violin played out a slow, soothing ballad that rang out high and clear, making goosebumps freckle her skin. As soon as she found him, Gray's eyessnapped to hers, and he paused his conversation with Vincent, turning and holding out a hand toward her.

They needed no words, their magnetic pull bringing them together in a choreographed embrace. They met in the middle, Lea taking Gray’s hand as he gathered her into his arms, placing one hand on the back of her head and wrapping the other arm around her waist as they began to sway.

“You look like the brightest star on the clearest, darkest night,” Gray said. “Absolutely stunning.”

Lea smiled against his chest. “As you've said several times tonight. But thank you.”

“I’ll tell you a hundred more times. A thousand, if you’ll let me.”

“I wasn’t complaining. You can tell me until your tongue falls out, if that’s what you’d like.” She breathed in his scent, the wind that carries in a rainstorm, committing it to memory. “Is that the most beautiful thing you can think of? Stars?”

“Besides you?” A tendril of shadows reached up and pulled her hair off her shoulder. “It used to be the sunset. But I’d give anything to see the stars right now,” Gray said, pulling back and spinning her in a slow circle, the skirt of her dress flaring out around her legs. “I’d do anything for relief from this heat.”

“Taking off our clothes might help,” Lea teased, pretending to reach toward the top of her dress, and a growl ripped from Gray’s throat.

“Later,” he said, pulling her cap sleeve back up over her shoulder, and Lea laughed at the absurdity of his protectiveness.

From her periphery, Lea saw a shadow swoop outside through a tiny gap between the curtains. Lea turned to look harder, but Gray tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.

“You enjoy torturing me, don’t you?” he asked, his shadows teasing as they slid against her skin.

“I enjoy everything about you—torturing you.” She reached up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Gray’s throat. “Kissing you… loving you.”

Gray’s eyes darkened as he trailed a thumb down her cheek.

“You loving me,” she added.

Emotion bubbled up her throat along with the urge to tell Gray everything about her love for him, to make it entirely clear how she felt, but there weren’t words big enough for the feeling. Not words her tongue could speak out loud.

Gray looked down at her, the absolute adoration in his eyes making her knees weak. A shadow darted again between the small sliver of curtains, catching Lea’s eye, but she ignored it.

“There was never a choice but to love you,” he said, leaning down and brushing a kiss across her lips.

“But there was. You could've chosen to focus on saving your kingdom without the added complications of loving someone. You could've kept your secrets; it would've been easier. But even when I was at my worst, when I was fighting for air and didn’t know who I was, you were there for me. I can’t tell you how much your love has changed my life.”

Gray rested his chin on the top of her head, his swaying slowing until he stopped, pulling back to look at her. “Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye to me?”

Lea’s stomach clenched, tears working their way up her throat.

“We're going to win, Lea. We're going to defeat Alaric. There's no other option. I won't allow it.”

---