So many things had changed since he’d made that journey. In fact, it would be easier to list the things that were the same.
While he still loved Lea, it was in a very different way. His heart belonged to someone else now. At least, he wanted it to. It was headed in that direction. He wouldn't necessarily say that he was in love with Emma, but now that he'd lived through what he had, he also wouldn't say he was ever actually in love with Lea. Not really.
A flicker of shame worked its way up his spine as he thought about the things he’d said to her in his anger. The way he’d stood by and watched Alaric torment her. Thomas had been so self-righteous. He’d had so many excuses for why his behavior was acceptable back then, had rationalized that he’d never have been strong enough to defeat Alaric and that Lea needed tough love to see the error of her ways.
An arrogant fool. That’sexactlywhat he’d been. And now, more than ever, he was determined to make it right. He wouldn’t repeat his past mistakes. Not with Emma.
A ghost of a smile crossed Thomas’s lips as he thought about a future with her. He’d learned so much, and was excited for the possibilities of what a relationship with Emma could bring. But first, they had to survive. All of them. And for that to happen, he needed to help better prepare Emma and the rest of his friends for whatever else they would face before the war was through.
Thomas wasn’t naïve enough to think he knew more than the others. Gray and Erik were far more experienced than he was at fighting. But weapons?Thatwas something he could do to help. A new weapon for each of them, with as much magic as he could push inside to give them all the best chance at survival.
He’d started working on them the moment they’d returned to the cavern, and while he was exhausted in a way he’d never experienced before, he couldn’t seem to stop and rest. It was an incessant need. A drive that kept him pulling more and more magic out of himself as the eternal night replenished it.
The forest was unnaturally dark tonight, and even though he was grateful for the boost it gave his magic, it was unsettling how the sun hadn’t risen the past several days. But even though it was so pitch black Thomas couldn’t see further than an arm’s reach in front of him, the woods were brimming with the chirping of crickets and croaking of frogs, a sign that all was well.
Only about a day's ride stood between them and their arrival in Auropera, but even in the eternal night, Thomas couldn't sleep. And for once, Erik's snoring wasn't the reason.
The closer they got to Auropera, the more desperate Thomas felt to finish Emma’s weapon. To give her a way to help protect herself.
Thomas had felt so helpless as the events of the battle in Bearswillow unfolded. Even though they’d planned and prepared, despite the fact that he and Emma had hidden away as far from the battle as possible, and theystillhadn’t been safe. It was a feeling Thomas never wanted to experience again. So he had started on a dagger for Emma—the most complicated one he’d ever attempted to make.
He pulled it from his pocket bag, creeping as quietly as possible toward the crackling fire. Stepping over Lea’s sword laying beside her, he examined it for damage. It was the perfect weapon for Lea. Strong and powerful and fierce. But Emma needed something more delicate. She wasn’t a warrior, not with weapons, at least. It was one of the things he loved most about her—her kindness and softness.
It wasn't a weakness. Not by a long shot. Emma was strong in a way Thomas had never witnessed before. It was awe-inspiring, and made pride swell in his chest every time she spoke to the dead, or used her powers and empathy to help someone else in pain. It took immense strength to open up her emotions to the world, to allow herself to feel the suffering of others. He was still in awe of the courage it had taken for her to take Eudora’s potion and tether herself to the other side. It was the only reason Lea and Gray were still with them, and the reason so many had been saved on the battlefield. Everything about her was truly remarkable.
In the flickering light of the fire, Thomas twisted the blade of the dagger to inspect it. His skin buzzed with the power thrumming within the metal, but there was room for more.
His magic hummed in his chest, begging to be released as if it, too, needed to protect Emma. Focusing on his power, he funneled it into the hilt of the small dagger. Its gold blade sparkled as he pushed more and more of his power inside, projecting out the protections he wanted the weapon to provide.
Protection from being snuck up on. That was his priority. If this worked, Emma would never be caught unaware again. He’d teach herbasic self defense. As long as Emma knew what threats were coming at her, he had no doubt she’d find a way to protect herself.
It’d taken so much magic, so much time and energy, for the weapon to start to do what he wanted. Not quite as long as Lea’s sword had taken him, but still days and days where, before the sun had refused to rise, he’d drained himself completely, needing to wait until his magic replenished itself before he could resume working on it.
Hefeltwith absolute clarity when his magic solidified in the dagger, clicking into place with a dull thump in his head. Thomas exhaled, relaxing as he twisted the beautiful weapon in the firelight. Finally, it was finished.
Emma whimpered in her sleep, and Thomas rushed to her side, placing the hilt of the dagger in her hand. He might have made the weapon to alert her of threats, but that wasn’t the only power he had imbued inside it.
The dagger would also protect her from what happened to her in her dreams. Every night so far on their journey, Emma’s sleep had been restless, and more than once she’d woken with tears in her eyes. Every time, he'd held her, whispering soothing words until one night she’d finally confided in him that something had changed while she’d been in her deep slumber. That the potion Eudora had given her had opened her up to the dead even more than before.
Her dreams were now full of those who had passed as well, the dead somehow finding her as she drifted throughout her subconscious. Some simply told her their stories, grateful for a kind ear to listen to them, while others begged for help.
But no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t do anything for them. It had taken a toll on her. Dark circles laid heavy beneath her eyes, and her rich brown skin had lost its glow, becoming sallow and dull. Buteven worse was that her genuine, heart-stoppingly beautiful smiles often seemed forced after the battle.
Thomas closed her fingers around the dagger, and the moment the metal touched her skin, her face relaxed, an almost imperceptible smile crossing her lips as she sighed and rolled over. Emma burrowed herself deeper beneath the covers, and Thomas’s shoulders lowered, the tension in his neck easing.
He found a piece of cloth, wrapping it around the blade and making a mental note that he’d need to find a more permanent solution for keeping her safe from the sharp edge of the metal while she slept. But for tonight, he simply laid down next to her, placing his hand on top of the weapon to keep it still and praying to the gods that Emma would be safe from what was to come.
That they’dallbe safe, and that tomorrow they would find the information they needed to help them finally end this war once and for all. Because while it didn't feel fair to begin a love story he might not survive to see, Thomas knew that if they could end this war, he would finally settle into a love like he'd always wanted.
Chapter 17
Lea
The streets were completely silent except for the clop of their horses' hooves.
It was odd approaching the castle from the main gates rather than sneaking in after they had so brazenly escaped in a fiery explosion during their wedding. Stranger, even, to do so in the pitch black of night. Lea had been certain that should they ever need to return, it would be with the use of magic to hide themselves, scrambling over walls and through tunnels. But such lengths hadn’t been necessary.
Gray had received word from his mother that while the majority of Alaric’s army had returned to Auropera,heseemingly had not. But if that was the truth, what had Erik seen?