Page 72 of A Sun Scorched Bloom

"Anyway." Erik clapped his hands together in front of him, ignoring her. "Not that you need a reason. You’re more than welcome in my bedroom anytime." Erik wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. He might not want to push Janelle away by offering her something serious, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want her to know how attracted he was to her. "But was there something specific you needed?"

"It’s stupid," Janelle said, "and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore." She pushed him away and turned to walk out the door, but Erik grabbed her shoulder, electricity buzzing beneath his fingers. "Janelle? Talk."

"Erik, fuck off." She tried to shrug him off.

Now we’re getting somewhere,Erik thought. She obviously felt vulnerable, a feeling Erik would bet she wasn’t used to. Her anger was her way of pushing him away.

"There’s no shame in asking a friend a question," Erik said kindly, letting go of her shoulder.

Janelle crossed her arms. "Who said I had a question? Maybe I came here to tell you that you’re an overly jolly giant, and that it’s really annoying how happy you always are. Or maybe I came to tell you that you stink from riding for days and I wanted to make sure that you had thoroughly cleaned yourself, because if not, I might be able smell you all the way across the hall, and—"

Erik cut her off. "Do you want to stay here with me?" Erik suspected that was the reason Janelle had knocked on his door. He didn’t think the others knew, but Janelle had nightmares. Ever since the tirror attack, she would shake and cry in her sleep, never saying a word or making a peep as tears streamed silently down her face. She was stoic, even as she slept. Janelle was the definition of putting on a brave face. She was a master of pretending that everything was okay, but Erik knew better.

Every night since the attack, he had brushed away salty tears from her cheeks, whispered soothing words into her hair, and woken her gently, so as not to frighten her even more. And on those nights, she would cling to him as if he was the only safe place she could hide in the entire world. But every morning by the time the sun had risen, she’d pulled away again, plastered on a smile or a grimace, and resumed teasing everyone around them.

They’d never discussed it—had never spoken about it. The rage Erik felt thinking about what caused those nightmares made his blood boil, like fire licking the inside of his veins, but it wouldn’t help Janelle for him to show his anger. No, he would be Janelle’s safe space for as long as she needed, and then, when the time was right, he would destroy whoever it was that had hurt her. Whatever bastard that had made her fearful of showing vulnerability—of loving.

"Well, you see," Janelle was flustered, her cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink, "Being the kind soul that I am, I came over here to see if maybe you wanted to stay in my room. Only because with Gray and Lea next door, well, you might hear some uncomfortable things." Janelle was speaking fast, her pitch raising higher and higher as she continued. "I thought I'd spare you from being an unwilling third wheel to their mating ritual."

"Is that why you want to share a bed with me?" Erik crossed his arms, purposefully flexing as he did so.

"Forget it, you giant dirt-covered lollipop." Janelle turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"I’m very clean, actually!" Erik called through the door with a booming laugh. Calmly and quickly, Erik changed into fresh clothes. Well, clothes were a generous description. He put on a pair of thin khaki colored trousers, grabbed his sword belt and two studded daggers, and walked across the hall to Janelle’s room. Opening the door without knocking, Erik walked in and placed his belt on a large turquoise trunk at the foot of the bed.

Janelle walked out of the bathroom, her hair now tied into a loose bun. "Excuse me! What do you think you’re doing?" she shouted as Erik settled into a large, rather uncomfortable wooden armchair, kicking his feet up and placing his hands behind his head.

"I think you’re right," he nodded at her. "I think I will be far more comfortable in here with you tonight."

Chapter 49

Lea

LeaandGrayhadn’tspoken much since their conversation about fulfilling the mating bond, and the tension was palpable as they walked with Janelle and Erik to meet with King Tanad. Noah had stayed behind, insisting someone needed to stand guard outside Emma’s room if she was to be alone. Repeatedly, Gray had told him that they were safe here, but Noah had argued that Emma reminded him of his sister. He’d said it didn’t sit right with him to leave her alone in an unfamiliar place while she slept, completely vulnerable, and Gray had relented.

Now Lea wished Noah was there to break the tension. The air was thick with it. Not only between her and Gray, but between Erik and Janelle as well, though, it was a different type of tension she felt buzzing between her friends.

The distance between them was uncomfortable, a wedge inside her lungs that made it difficult to breathe, but Lea couldn’t let her feelings go. She wasn’t angry so much as hurt. Though she’d suspected Gray's motivations when he’d covered the moon so quickly with clouds on the night of their escape, it felt far more painful to have it confirmed. Though in truth, she’d more than just suspected. Unless Alaric had dragons, blocking out the sky gave them virtually no advantage when they were hiding within the trees and inside his wards.

She’d given him the benefit of the doubt, but today, when he had refused to step into the sun, it solidified Lea’s deepest fears. They’d been given a gift from the gods and were the first mates in hundreds of years, but still, Gray would not accept the bond fully.

It wasn’t a lack of understanding his motivations that caused her heart to ache, because really, Lea could see where he was coming from. If her fate was to die in the coming war, she didn’t want Gray to die along with her either, but she knew Gray well enough to know that he would follow her wherever her soul was taken. So why wasn’t she allowed to make the same decision for herself? And why was he only focusing on what the mating bond would do to them in death?

Didn’t he realize that it would make life so much sweeter? Lea loved Gray more than she’d thought possible. Looking back, it was absurd she’d ever thought she wouldn’t be able to move past what his father had done to her mother. She could no more stop loving him than the waves could stop crashing onto the beach outside their balcony. But with the bond sealed, it would be even better. They would be one in every way that mattered. How could he deny her that for something that might not even happen?

Lea regretted saying she didn’t want only what he was willing to offer her, the words sitting like a cold, heavy stone in her stomach. As the four of them walked to meet with the king, their heels clicking on the sandstone floor, Lea felt as if she was going to explode. She couldn’t take it anymore. Grabbing Gray’s arm, she paused, meeting his turmoil-filled eyes. Erik immediately stopped behind them, and Janelle followed his lead.

"Give us a minute, Erik." Always the obedient soldier, Erik resumed walking without a word, pulling a protesting Janelle behind him.

"I’m sorry about walking out on you earlier," Lea apologized. "I was hurt. Iamhurt. But that doesn’t mean I should hurt you back."

The relief on Gray’s face made her heart ache. "So you understand then?"

"That’s not what I said, Gray," Lea said, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her head against his chest. "I’m asking you to think about this from my perspective."

"I am. I’vetried. But it’s not the same, Azalea," Gray argued.

"It’sexactlythe same. And deep down, you know that. Just promise me you’ll think about it?"

---