Page 45 of Trapped with the Covert Ops Soldier

“So?” she repeated. “Really, that’s all you’ve got to say? So?”

“What’s the problem? Everyone has a right to get angry at someone who’s trying to hurt them.”

“No. Not angry. Iwantto hurt him.”

“You’re allowed to feel that way, Abby.”

“I can’t allow myself to take pleasure in another person’s pain. That is a violation of everything I hold dear.”

He tilted his head and she could see him thinking about what she said. “Bullshit.”

“Fuck off. You’re a soldier. You’re trained to hit back.”

“If a man comes at you with a knife, are you going to let him stab you with it?”

“No. I’d disarm him, tie him up, then ask himwhat the fuck. But, that’s not what’s happening here. Someone is trying to kill me and endangering a whole boatload of other people in the process. I’m so angry that he would do this that Iwantto hurt him.”

“Are you angry about him trying to kill you or the possibility he might hurt someone else as he’s trying to kill you?”

“The someone else part.”

“So, the trying to kill you partdoesn’tmake you mad?”

“Who cares?” she yelled. “The number of innocent bystanders that could get hurt is staggering.”

“So is the number of people you can help or save or get healthy again. You act as if your death would be insignificant, when it’s the opposite.”

“I want to prevent a bloodbath, not treat a roomful of bullet wounds.”

“By dying?” he demanded, baring his teeth at her.

She recoiled as if he’d struck her. “I never said that.”

“It sounded like suicide by nutcase to me.”

“Suicide? I’m not suicidal.”

“Anyone who says they’d rather be shot than not, sounds like they’re more than just entertaining the thought. They’re creating a plan.”

“You’re twisting my words.”

“I don’t think so. I also don’t think you can even hear what you’re saying.”

“And what is that?”

“A cry for help.”

No one could help her. She’d already made the mistake and forgiveness would never come because she’d killed the people who could offer it.

But, if it would get Smitty off her back, she’d play the game his way for a while. She wasn’t suicidal, she simply couldn’t live with herself if someone else ended up as collateral damage.

“Is there help for people like me? Like us?”

He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Yes. I think there is. All you have to do is accept it.”

“How?”

“You could try talking about it, about the crash.”

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