He trailed off, unsure how to explain.
“So, what happens now?” Jay asked, his voice small and uncertain.
He sighed. “Now, we forget this ever happened. We go back to being supervisor and assistant, nothing more.”
Jay nodded slowly, but S’aad could see the hurt in his eyes. It killed him to put that look there, but he knew it was necessary. He had to maintain professional boundaries, for both their sakes.
“I need some air,” S’aad said abruptly, unable to bear the tension in the room any longer. “Stay here. This time, please… just stay here.”
Without waiting for a response,S’aad strode out of the lab, the door hissing shut behind him. He leaned against the wall in the corridor, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.
What had he done? How had he let things spiral so out of control? He’d crossed a line, one he wasn’t sure he could uncross. And worse, he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to.
He closed his eyes, but that didn’t help. All he could think about was Jay’s lips under his.
The kiss replayed in his mind. Jay’s scent lingered on his skin, a mixture of human and something uniquely…Jay. It was intoxicating, and he knew without thinking about it that it was embedded in his soul.
Draanth.He groaned again, running a hand through his hair. His honor beads clinked softly, a familiar sound that grounded him somewhat. He had to get himself together. But… He’d kissed Jay. He’d kissed a human. An adult human male who worked for him.
His mind raced, questioning everything he’d thought he knew about himself and Jay. He’d always assumed that his destiny was to find a female mate, but this… whatever it was with Jay had rocked him to the core. He felt the same sort of pull toward him that he’d always assumed he’d feel toward a female. It wasn’t like he was against same-sex relationships, not at all. He knew several warriors who were in committed relationships. But there was also the fact that he’d thought Jay was just a boy, someone he needed to protect. But the realization that wasn’t the case and that Jay was actually an adult sent a jolt through him, a mixture of relief and… something else. Something that made his skin feel too tight and his heart race.
He groaned again, closing his eyes.
But it was still wrong. Wasn’t it?
Jay was his subordinate. His employee. It was just the same as if he’d been involved with a warrior under his command. Worse, in fact, because Jay was human. Which meant he was smaller. More delicate. Fragile. He was supposed to be looking out for Jay, not…
His eyes snapped open. No… no, he wasn’t even going there. Guilt churned in his gut as he locked down the explicit thoughts racing through his mind, torturing him with things that couldn’t be. It would be too much of an abuse of power.
He needed to get it together. Now. Growling to himself, he pushed off the wall and began pacing the corridor. He could do this. All he had to do was maintain a professional distance. He could?—
The sudden hiss of the main doors sliding open cut off his internal lecture to himself. He turned, expecting to see one of the other staff members, excuses already on his tongue for why he was prowling the corridors. Instead, a towering figure strode through the doors, radiating power and authority, and S’aad’s eyes widened in recognition.
Daaynal. The emperor.
Straightening immediately, he snapped to attention. Even though the emperor was dressed as a simple warrior, his dark hair filled with braids and honor braids flowing over shoulders broader than a shuttle, he was instantly recognizable to everyone in the empire. Respected by everyone in the empire… perhapsbecausehe wore no outward sign of his rank or status. He was one of them. A warrior just like the rest of them, just one who had responsibility for more than a simple combat unit but the entire empire.
“Your Imperial Majesty,” S’aad said with a bow. “We weren’t expecting you. If we’d known?—”
Daaynal waved a hand dismissively, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “At ease, V’Renn. I decided to drop in unannounced. I find it’s the best way to see how things are really going.”
“Yes, of course, Your Majesty,” he said, sneaking a look past Daaynal for the four massivedrakeenthat usually accompanied him, controlled by the emperor himself. Until recently, he’d been the only pilot who could control more than one of the heavily armored war machines, but then a human female had used three of them to fight a pod of Krin on one of the sentinel stations. The war commanders on the council were still freaking out about that as far as he knew.
He fell into step beside Daaynal as they walked down the corridor. “How can we help you today?”
Daaynal turned, green eyes pinning him in place like a specimen on a slide. “I wanted to check on progress here. I’ve had some… interesting reports.”
S’aad froze for a moment. Did the emperor know about the discrepancies he’d found in the program’s code? But how? He had only told Maax. Unless there were more reports somewhere…
“Oh?”
Playing dumb with Daaynal K’Saan was dangerous. The emperor might act and dress like a simple warrior, but he was anything but. He’d been born and bred in the crucible of the throne, and the reason he’d lasted so long was because he was both utterly ruthless and always informed. About everything. S’aad had no idea how he did it. Fortunately, neither did Daaynal’s enemies.
He let his professional mask slip into place as he answered, playing it safe. “We’ve had several successes recently, Your Majesty. The compatibility algorithms have been refined to include personality profiles and other markers, and we’ve had a fifteen percent increase in successful matches over the past month.”
“Fascinating,” Daaynal murmured, his gaze sharp and assessing. “And there are other issues?”
S’aad tensed, his stride faltering for just a moment. He plastered a neutral look on his face and shook his head. “None that I’m aware of, Your Majesty. With the program, at least. We’ve had some issues with impatient warriors, though.”