Page 15 of Tormented Kings

“Me too,” I sigh, stopping and spinning around to face my friends. They stumble to a halt. “Sit.”

We all sit under a weeping willow tree, and I lean my back against the trunk, bringing my knees up. I pull my sweater down over them, not caring about how hot it is today. I just want to feel small and safe right now.

“Sadie,” Emma’s voice turns soft. “Babe, what’s going on?”

“A lot,” I whisper, hating the tears that sting my eyes. “A lot I want to tell you, but I’m afraid to.”

“You can tell us anything,” Alice promises. “It doesn’t matter what. We won’t speak a word.”

“I need to talk to someone because I’m going fucking crazy.” I laugh, wiping at my eyes.

“Spill, babe. We’re here, we got you,” Emma reassures me, grabbing my hand.

So I do.

I tell them all about the bullshit with Tina; most of it they already know from what they’ve seen with their own eyes.

I admit how I’ve fucked up and fallen for four men I can’t have, about Collin’s father and what happened in the limo the other day. At first, I wasn’t going to tell them that part, but I know the girls will keep this to themselves, and not get involved. I ask them as much to make sure to keep them safe. I also fill them in on my struggles with my eating over the past few years, but I don’t go into details on how it started, or how serious it was, just that I’ve been doing a lot better and then I reveal the biggest secret I’ve kept for years. About that night of the party, and while I don’t remember everything, I do know I was assaulted.

By the time I’m done, I’m in tears and hyperventilating. “Oh, babe,” Emma rasps, and the girls pull me into a group hug.

They tell me how much they love me, how sorry they are that I had to go through that, how they wish they could have been there for me, but understand why I didn’t say anything.

They go on, saying how they’ve got my back now and everything will be okay.

Will it, though? Because right now, I feel like my life is on a downward spiral with no end. It’s just one thing after the other.

It’s my fault for walking through those gold and red Host Club doors and making that deal.

“Sadie?” Collin’s voice has my heart jumping into my throat, my pulse racing.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Mia jumps to her feet. “After what you did, you have no right to come anywhere near her.”

Collin gives my friend a glare. “You don’t know anything,” he growls before his eyes shift to me. “Sadie, please talk to me.”

I haven’t seen any of the guys since Saturday night, but Declan did give my phone to Mia to give back to me this morning. I haven’t bothered turning it on yet, afraid of what the text messages and voicemails might say now that they know I have my phone back.

“Why? So you can lie your way out of it? She saw the photos, Collin,” Emma snips, helping me to my feet.

Collin ignores my friends and moves over to me. “Baby girl,” he murmurs, cupping my face, his concerned eyes boring into mine. “I hate seeing you cry.”

“Maybe you should stop being the reason for it then,” Alice mutters.

“Would you please leave us?” Collin sighs heavily, shooting Alice a look.

Now that my mind is a lot clearer and my chest is less heavy—due to spilling everything to my best friends—I feel a lot better. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for what’s to come. Part of me wants to just bury my head in the sand and ignore it all, act like none of it happened, and hope it goes away.

Sadly, that’s not how life works, and if I continue to ignore reality, it’s going to eat me alive.

“It’s okay.” I give my best friends a reassuring smile. “We need to have this talk.”

“Are you sure?” Emma asks. “Because he can fuck right off. He has no right to you.”

“I know.” I nod. “But I’m sure. I’ll be okay. He won’t hurt me.” At least, I don’t think he would. Honestly, I’m not sure what to think anymore.

“Of course, I wouldn’t hurt you.” He gazes down at me, both hands cupping my face now. He brushes his thumbs against my cheeks, and I hate how much I love it. How much I crave his touch, his smell, him. He might have been a lot to handle at times, but it’s been growing on me. I miss it, I miss him.

“Maybe not physically,” I whisper. “But my heart sure has taken a hit.” I reach up and rub at my chest. Hurt flashes in his eyes before I tear my attention away from him and back to my friends. “I’ll call you if I need you.”

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