Page 37 of Evan

"Evan?" Molly's voice breaks through my reverie. "Are you okay? You seem a million miles away."

I blink, focusing on her concerned face. The parade continues around us, but at this moment, it's as if the world has narrowed to just the two of us.

"I'm fine," I say automatically, but the words feel hollow. Molly's brow furrows, and I know she's not buying it. She's always been able to see right through me.

"Evan," she says as her hand squeezes mine. "What's going on? You've been... different lately. Distant."

I swallow hard, feeling the weight of the moment. This isn't how I planned to have this conversation, surrounded by the joy and excitement of the parade. But looking into Molly's eyes, seeing the mixture of concern and affection there, I know I can't keep this from her any longer.

"Molly, I..." I start, then falter. How do I explain the turmoil in my heart? The conflict between the life I'm building here and the dreams I've held onto for so long?

Chad's excited voice cuts through the tension. "Mom! Evan! Look, it's Santa!"

Sure enough, the highlight of the parade is approaching. Santa's sleigh, pulled by "reindeer" on roller skates, glides down Main Street. Children cheer and wave, their faces alight with wonder.

But Molly's eyes never leave my face. "Evan," she says, her voice barely audible over the crowd's excitement. "Please. Talk to me."

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "Morgan offered me a job," I blurt out, the words tumbling from me in a rush. "With her new station. Traveling, sharing Christmas traditions from around the world. It's... it's everything I used to dream about."

I see the moment my words register, the flash of hurt in Molly's eyes before she masks it. She pulls her hand from mine, and I feel the loss of contact like a physical ache.

"Oh," she says, her voice carefully neutral. "I see. And... are you going to take it?"

The parade continues around us, a stark contrast to the bubble of tension we're trapped in. Santa waves from his sleigh, children laugh and cheer, but all I can focus on is the guarded look in Molly's eyes.

"I don't know," I admit, hating the uncertainty in my voice. "I haven't decided yet. It's a big opportunity, but..."

"But what?" Molly prompts, and I can hear the strain in her voice, the effort it's taking her to remain calm.

"But I have a life here," I say, reaching for her hand again. She lets me take it, but her fingers remain limp in my grasp. "The farm, the community... you and Chad. It's not an easy decision."

Molly's eyes search my face, and I can see the conflict there, the hope warring with fear. "When were you going to tell me about this?"

I wince at the hurt in her voice. "I was going to. I just... I needed time to think it through. To figure out what I really want."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know they're the wrong ones. Molly pulls her hand away, taking a step back. The space between us feels vast, despite the crowd pressing in around us.

"What you really want," she repeats, her voice flat. "I see."

"Molly, that's not what I meant—"

But she cuts me off, shaking her head. "No, I think it's exactly what you meant, Evan. You needed time to decide if we—if this life here—is what you really want."

The pain in her eyes is unmistakable now, and it cuts me to the core. I've hurt her, the last thing I ever wanted to do.

"Mom?" Chad's voice breaks through our tension. He's looking between us, confusion clear on his face. "What's wrong?"

Molly forces a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Nothing, honey. We're just talking. Why don't you go see if you can catch some of the candy canes Mrs. Claus is throwing?"

Chad hesitates for a moment, his gaze flickering between us, before the lure of candy wins out. As he darts off into the crowd, Molly turns back to me.

"I think we should call it a night," she says, her voice quiet but firm. "Chad and I should head home."

"Molly, please," I say, reaching for her again. "Let's talk about this. I don't want to leave things like this."

She steps back, avoiding my touch. "I think we both need some time to think, Evan. You clearly have a lot to consider."

The finality in her tone feels like a blow to the gut. I watch helplessly as she calls Chad back, as they gather their things. The parade continues around us, but the joy and magic of the evening have evaporated, leaving only a hollow ache in my chest.

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