Page 35 of Forever is Now

And of course my daughter wasn’t well. I’m not going to disclose her medical details here, because that’s private. But Mia and I were spending so long at that hospital, only now there were British consulates getting involved. All sorts of other people too—reporters, journalists. The press were everywhere, camping at the hospital. And I just wanted to be with my girlfriend and daughter. Little Summer was undergoing treatments, and I needed to be there for her—only I couldn’t. Because all of this was happening, and Mia was getting fed up with how she couldn’t drive to the hospital with our daughter without paparazzi following her car.

But we were being followed, all the time. It was so stressful. People were shouting at me, shoving microphones into my face. Yelling at me. Constantly there were camera flashes. Cameras were even directed into our house. Someone got a photo of Mia as she got out the shower one day. It was all over the papers.

And it was getting worse.

The constant hounding of the media.

I hadn’t really expected it, but the day when I was going to meet the woman who was apparently my wife I had to have security with me. Apparently, this had been a massive case in the UK. And Summer—this wife I didn’t remember—was famous. Like, proper famous. We’d seen she’d written books, but we hadn’t quite understood just how big a deal she was. Or how a big deal all of this would be.

I was so nervous going into the hotel, to meet her. I was told her mother was there too. A woman called Margaret Taylor. Apparently, Summer and I had lived with her when we were younger. Before we got married. And Margeret had even taken me in when I’d had some problems at home.

My heart was hammering so fast as the door to Summer’s hotel room was opened. I can’t even remember who else was present. I just looked at this woman, at Summer Taylor-Braddon, my wife—and I didn’t remember a thing.

##

Summer Taylor-Braddon: I hated Mia from then on. The new wife. The other woman. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know her at all, that she’d shown me that bit of kindness. She was public enemy number one. She had taken Ruari from me.

Now, of course, I can think a bit more clearly. Not objectively, mind, because I’ll never be able to think objectively about any of this. But I know it wasn’t fair to her, all that happened. She had no idea that her Robert was missing British national Ruari Braddon. She was just in love.

Oh and she was pregnant, of course.

Again. They already had two kids. One of which ironically shared my name. As if this situation couldn’t get more messy.

When I first heard the daughter’s name, it had given me hope. That maybe, even though Ruari hadn’t appeared to recognize me, there was still a part of him that could remember. That the memories weren’t lost.

But it didn’t seem to work that way. There was still just nothing in his eyes, when I saw him again too. At the hospital—because he was having more tests done. Every doctor in Australia suddenly wanted to be the one who’d treat him, unlock all his memories. It was as if they just needed to find the right key, but the problem was there never was a key that was the right fit for his mind.

Or if there was, that key was at the bottom of the ocean.

Whereas Ruari was speaking with a damn Australian accent of all things, really believing he was this other person. A boyfriend. A father.

I think maybe that was the part I found the hardest, about Mia. That she was living what should’ve been my life, with my man. My kids.

She had everything I’d ever wanted.

I watched Mia from my hotel window, one day. I’m not really sure why she was back, down there. But she was. And suddenly, her swelling belly just seemed so massive and I felt sick looking at it, imagining Ruari’s kid inside there, incubating, like this was some high-tech sci-fi show.

My breaths suddenly got too loud and then I threw up—no warning. Just watching, through streaming eyes, as my vomit laced the windowsill and those stupid frilly lace curtains.

Mia was talking to someone down below outside. There were police down there and other official looking people. She also had a couple people with her that I assume were friends—and that, that really got to me. Made me want to cry and scream.

Dante Fiore: Why’s that?

Summer Taylor-Braddon: I haven’t really got any friends now.

Dante Fiore: You’ve got me, Hana, Ash.

Summer Taylor-Braddon: Yeah, I have. But I was meaning mygirlfriends before—Hana and Julia. I haven’t really got them. I mean, Hanaisstill my friend, you’re right. But I don’t know if we’re as close now. And then there’s Julia... I don’t think she and I can ever be friends again. Not properly.

Dante Fiore: You’re not alone though.

Summer Taylor-Braddon: No. I’ve got my mum, of course. I wouldn’t have survived all this without her. But I do miss Hana. I miss how things used to be.

Dante Fiore: Have you tried reaching out to them?

Summer Taylor-Braddon: No, and I don’t know if I can. It feels like that ship has sailed. This whole life that I have—it’s sailed away. I had finally got my husband back, only he was no longer Ruari Braddon. He was a stranger.

[Silence for five seconds]

---