Page 27 of Forever is Now

Meet another man.

“No,” I said. “You didn’t. You never dated after Dad died.”

“I knew that he had passed away though,” she said. “It was different.”

“No—you hadclosure, and still you didn’t,” I pointed out.

She nodded and never mentioned it again, but it really got me thinking. What if I did try and date again—not now, of course. But in the future. Ten years’ time or something.

Then I felt angry, sad, guilty.

Nothing could compare to what me and Ruari had.

And Ruari, he was still out there.

[Silence for three seconds]

Summer Taylor-Braddon: I often wondered what I’d do if his body was found. It seemed unlikely now, all these years later, but I kept thinking about it, conjuring up the whole scene, scenario in my head. Coming up with dialogue and different reactions for me.

But I could never actually tell what would happen. Would I lose it completely?

Would I be compelled to drown myself?

Or would I move on with my life, having got the closure that everyone seemed to think I needed.

But the only closure I wanted was that he was still alive.

If he was dead, I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope, whether I was living or not.

And it was wrong of me to imagine a life where I might meet someone else—because they wouldn’t be Ruari. They wouldn’t be the love of my life. And I’d always be comparing this new person to him.

That wouldn’t be fair on either of us.

But then... Then we heard the news that I’d been living for, hoping for, dreaming for. I was actually recording an interview for a podcast.Just in Timehad released the month before. I was chatting to a man called Brent, talking about Christmas cheer and trying to sound really happy, even though I had a killer headache and really bad period pains—the kind that just make it hard to sit up and think coherently. And then my phone started blowing up. So many calls—some from withheld numbers, but then after ten minutes—I was still chatting to Brent, trying to sound jolly—my mum was phoning me too.

It was 8thOctober 2023. Ruari Braddon, my husband, had been found.

Ruari Braddon, my husband, was alive.

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