Page 72 of My Heart to Find

“For sticking up for me,” I say. “For being my friend.”

“Girl, I’m always your friend.”

“Thank you,” I say, and I try to pretend that my gut isn’t squeezing because I’m a bad friend. Because I’ve taken Damien from Jana and she doesn’t even realize it.










CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Cara

“ICAN’T BELIEVE WEboth found people!” Jana grins at me as we’re packing our suitcases. “You and Damien, and me and Ray!”

Ray gives her a cheery wave from the other side of the hall. He’s not the type of guy I’d have put Jana with. Usually, she goes for really tall and muscular guys that have the typical ‘bad boy’ vibe: you know the kind, has floppy blond hair, is usually in a band, has a minor drug problem that Jana believes she can fix. But Ray’s different: he’s four inches shorter than her, two years younger, skinny as a rake, and has what Jana said a week ago was a ‘cute, nerdy look.’ He’s really into video games and his screensaver on his phone is a flamingo.

“So, you two are meeting up back home?” I ask Jana, giving Ray a quick nod.

“I think so—like, it just feels, right, you know?” Jana is practically bubbling.

I think of Damien, and I do know.

“We were talking a lot last night,” Jana continues. “And Ray and I think...we think we can make this work. We’re both gray-ace, so that’s a relief.”

“Isn’t he aro?” I ask. “Like, how will that work? You’re into romance.”

Jana nods. “But that’s what we were talking about—like, the whole relationship thing. He doesn’t like fall in loveromantically, only platonically. He still likes kissing though, but he doesn’t see that as romantic, that’s more sexual for him. But he still wants to have that one special person. And, sexually, we’re good.” She gives me a knowing look.

I lean in closer. “You’ve slept together?”

“Don’t look so scandalized!” She laughs and tosses her hair back. “Plenty of aces have sex.”

I nod. “Yeah, I didn’t mean otherwise...” I trail off as David and some of the others enter the room.

David is glaring at me, and I try to ignore it. Try to tune fully into whatever it is that Jana’s now saying. But I can’t. It’s like his gaze is burning me and Jana’s words just float away. He’s been against me ever since Damien and I won that chocolate.

“What?” I ask David, finally, the moment Jana’s stopped talking and has gone over to speak to Ray again.

David looks me up and down. “You think you’re so perfect, don’t you?”