“It seemed like an appropriate time to whisper,” I mimic.
Her eyes meet mine and my whole body sighs. Her hand trails up and she rubs her thumb across my jawline, her eyes studying my face. The next thing I know she’s pulling me in, leaning up, and our lips touch—gently at first, then harder. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to my chest. I don’t part her lips or press forward. I simply embrace her, inhale her, enjoy what she’s offering me.
I pull back, catching my breath as I open my eyes. Cora’s open slowly, her mouth still slightly puckered and wanting. There’s a tightness in my throat I attempt to swallow down.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper again.
“Are you going to apologize every time you kiss me?” she asks, a small, playful smile spreading across her mouth.The mouth I just kissed.
“It’s possible,” I say, rubbing my thumb over her full bottom lip. “Come sit with me.” I nod to two seats near the stage and take her hand in mine.
As we sit, she asks me what I’ll paint next.
“I’m not sure yet,” I admit. Because I truly have no idea. It’s unsettling when I don’t know what’s next. I usually have a general direction. It might be time to start panhandling for models soon.
“You can paint me again, if you want. Or if you need something to work on while you find something else,” she says, her words coming out less confident than usual. Perhaps she thinks I wouldn’t want to.
“I’d like that,” I say, squeezing her hand in mine.
I watch her smile widen from my peripheral as she looks up, her eyes glossy under the movement of the lights above us. I lean back too, taking in the full simulation of the cosmos.
For a little while, we do nothing more than sit there, quietly, our hands tangled together. Neither of us say anything and a comfort washes over me. Usually, I’m uncomfortable in situations like this. I find the need to fill the silence or excuse myself entirely. But this is nice. I like it.
“Should we head home?” I ask after some time. After checking my watch, I realize we’ve been here for over an hour.
“Yeah, probably,” she says. If I didn’t know better, I’d think there was a reluctance in the tone of her voice.
On the walk back to our apartment, she notes the convenience of living in the same building and we share a laugh. Internally, I continue to ponder both the pros and cons of this particular situation. On one hand, it is convenient. On the other, it gives me several more opportunities to fuck it up. And I do have a tendency to fuck things up.
I don’t do it on purpose. It just happens. Things unravel and I find myself holding an empty spool.
At her door, she places her hand on the knob, then stops. As she turns back to me, the ghost of an emotion on her face I can’t place becomes a smile.
“I had a really good time with you tonight,” she says, her hands wringing in front of her. She wants me to kiss her again. This much I can tell.
“I really enjoyed tonight,” I say, cupping her elbows to bring her closer to me.
Cora leans in, bringing her nervous hands up to my chest. Her eyes are full of need, of desire. I’ve never seen her like this.
I run my thumb over the edge of her lips again, tilting her face up. Kissing someone has never felt so significant. Perhaps it’s because of the way we’ve evolved. Or maybe it’s the way she smells. But it scares me a little.
I lean down, brushing my lips against hers. Softly, tenderly. I increase the pressure and feel her whole body give over to the moment. Her hands travel up over my chest and around the back of my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair as my hands wrap around her waist. I inhale against her mouth, parting her lips with my tongue. I feel her own jagged inhale, her tongue connecting with mine.
The hunger brewing in my chest takes over and the next thing I know, I’m backing her up against her door, pinning her there with my body. I lace my fingers into hers and press her hands to the door above her. I trail kisses down her jawline and nip my teeth at her collarbone, gliding my tongue over her skin.
Just when things are getting too hot for the hallway, her door gives way, and it takes all my balance and strength to prevent her from toppling back and falling. Holding her against me by her waist, her face buried in my chest, I can’t help but laugh. And I laugh hard.
“Well, hey there, sis,” Jensen says, his hand still on the doorknob. “Sorry, I thought the thud was someone knocking.”
“It definitely wasn’t, little brother,” she says, attempting to stifle her laughter, her shoulders shaking up and down.
I press my lips into a line to keep my own laugh at bay. “Goodnight then,” I manage, releasing her from my grip.
“Goodnight,” she says, a smile playing over her whole face. Cora backs away slowly, then she and Jensen both disappear behind her closing door.
I turn, taking the few strides to reach my door, and press my forehead against my door.
Fuck.