Page 55 of With This Lie

Dani

I sitacross from him taking bites of takeout I barely want now. My body is hungry but my mind is distracted. Tonight has been strange. Not in a bad way. Not in a good way. Maybe bittersweet is the right word. I still don’t understand why he showed me where he lives but it seemed special. Like maybe he didn’t let everyone in my position see it. That’s what I want to believe anyway.

“Do you want to take a shower after this?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“That sounds really good actually. A long one, if that’s all right,” he says.

He takes another bite and he seems distracted too but I don’t ask. I’m afraid of what the answer would be. I can’t help but wonder if the guilt of our situation is getting to him. Wouldn’t it for some? I wouldn’t know. Though sometimes I do have a little guilt on my end. Perhaps some men are capable of it too then. Not all, but some. Not even most, but maybe a few. I think Lucas could be one of them. It’s only a matter of time really. Until he leaves. I know this.

I watch him push his plate away after a few more bites and rest his chin on his palm while he stares in my direction. This is his not-so-subtle way of telling me to hurry up. I giggle at his expressions and take one last bite before pushing my plate away. I stand slowly and he does the same. I walk the few paces between us and his arms find my waist. I reach up around his neck and run my fingers through the short hair on the back of his neck. He leans down and kisses me gently on my lips. We walk to the bathroom together and I pull his shirt over his head. He returns the favor and then I remove his pants. And we go on like this, back and forth, until we are both completely naked. We stand there looking at each other, soaking it in the way we usually do. Bath time has become somewhat of a ritual between us. I lean over to start the water.

“I know we said a shower but can we start with a bath? Bubbles too?” Lucas asks.

I nod and plug the drain. I add bath salts, bubble bath, and a bomb. My mother called this “the bath time trifecta”.

“I see you’ve come around to liking baths,” I say.

“I mean they’re pretty good. The wet naked lady helps too,” he says.

When the water is halfway up the side we step in, facing each other, and we sit down. He puts his legs on either side of me and I put my legs over his thighs. This is how we fit, perfectly snug. We lean back and relax our bodies into the water filling around us. Lucas takes my foot in his hands and begins rubbing the sole.

I let out an audible moan. “That feels amazing,” I say. I shut my eyes and even with them closed, I know he’s watching my face rather than what his hands are doing. I don’t know why he does this. Perhaps he’s watching to see if I have any physical responses or a change in expression. Perhaps he likes the way my face looks in that moment, totally relaxed. Knowing him, it’s a bit of both.

“I know you said you didn’t want a birthday present but you know I’m getting you something right?” Lucas says.

My eyes shoot open. “No,” I say.

“Yes.”

“But, no,” I respond.

“But, yes,” he says back.

“I’m not going to win, am I?” I ask.

“What kind of person would I be if I was trying to throw you the best birthday and there was no gift?” he asks.

He has a point. I’m not sure my mother would side with me on this either. “Fine, okay. Just please don’t spend a lot,” I plead.

“I will spend what I need to,” he says.

“That sounds unusually cryptic,” I say, grimacing.

“It was meant to.”

I roll my eyes. I can’t win this. I know I can’t and so I shrug my shoulders and lean back into the tub again. “Fine. Just keep rubbing.”

“Rude,” he says.

“I respectfully disagree,” I say, teasing.

He grabs the other foot and starts rubbing deep into the center. I arch my foot in response and think I could die happy right here in this moment.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he says.

“You’re lucky I’m cute too,” I say with a laugh.

“Someone is in a mood,” he says.

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