Page 58 of With This Lie

Lucas

The last fewdays went by in a mostly routine fashion. Dani’s been keeping herself busy with work knowing I needed time for planning, so we haven’t seen each other since that last night. The night she asked me to make love to her.

I have a few things to do today before I go to pick her up for the party and I’m actually nervous. Despite how comfortable I am with her, seeing her later actually makes me feel panicky.

I spent the morning confirming details with many of the guests. When to arrive, what to bring, what not to bring, if it was okay to bring a date, and so on. The questions felt endless.

I stop by the venue to finalize decorations. While normally most adult parties wouldn’t have balloons and streamers, this one was special, so they wanted me to stop by and approve everything. The place looks exactly like I wanted it to. The back room has enough space for everyone to relax and dance. I even hope to steal a few away from Dani during the evening.

Now all that’s left to do is walk two doors down and check on the cake. I stop briefly outside to check my phone.

Dani: I have no idea what to wear!

Me: It’s your party, wear whatever you want!

Dani: I don’t want to wear anything I have…

Me: So go get you something new, babe.

Dani: I don’t know, should I?

Me: I want you to do whatever is going to make you feel your best tonight.

Dani: Okay, you’re right. I’m going to go.

Me: Okay. Will you still be good for me to pick you up at seven?

Dani: Yeah, totally.

Me: Okay, see you then.

I tuck my phone back into my pocket and walk into the bakery where I’m greeted by a teenager at the register.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up an order for Kane,” I say.

“Sure, just a second,” she says, disappearing into the back. She emerges just a few moments later, accompanied by an older woman carrying a box.

“Mr. Kane? I have your order right here, I just need you to look it over and approve it,” the older woman says. She opens the box and spins it open to face me.

I had opted for a three-layer vanilla cake with vanilla frosting and chocolate music notes and chocolate shavings decorated all over it. It’s perfect. “Yes, this is great,” I say.

The lady spins the box back around and closes it up.

I pay the remaining portion of the bill and take the cake out the front door and back over to the venue. Luckily, they had agreed to store it in their kitchen until the event so I didn’t have to worry about transporting it further. This whole orchestrating a birthday thing really was quite tedious. I drop the cake off and repeat the motion of stopping outside to check my phone.

Elliott: Party still on?

Me: Yep, you still good to come?

Elliott: Yeah. The old lady can’t make it but I’ll be there.

Me: Cool.

Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised. I expected him to flake by this point but maybe the fact that he was checking in meant he was actually going to show up. I check my watch. I have plenty of time to get home and get ready myself. I get into my car and plug my phone in so I can listen to Dani’s playlists on the ride. The first song in the shuffle is “Hostage” by Billie Eillish and her sultry soulful voice seduces me much like Dani’s mouth. Dani’s lips could be very distracting in almost any situation.

I round the corner to my house and of course just as I’m settling into one mood, I’m hit with “Sabotage” by The Beastie Boys to completely throw me. Dani is good at that too. She keeps me on my toes if nothing else.

I park my car and make my way to my apartment, checking my mail on the way up. Jesus. Have I neglected it for a week or something? I stuff the stack under my arm and open my door. My apartment looks even more neglected than normal. Dishes are stacked in the sink and across the counter. Half empty glasses are on the table. Clothes are in piles on the floor in the hallway and my bedroom. I swear if I did have a wife, she’d divorce me for this shit. I check my watch again and think about cleaning up but decide against it. That just isn’t my priority today; Dani is.

I meander through the piles to my closet to see if I even have anything clean to wear. Luckily most of my dressier clothes are still clean. I choose black pants, a white button-up shirt, and a black vest. I go over to my dresser and open my tie drawer. I pull out a few options before throwing all of them back in and opt to go a little more relaxed with no tie. I lay everything out on my bed and make my way to the shower. Showering, I found, was more a chore now when it wasn’t with Dani. Because of that, I make them quick. In, wash, and out. No lingering whatsoever. No reason to. No wet naked lady to keep my attention.

I make quick work of the whole ordeal and dry off the same way. I wrap the towel around my waist and examine my face in the mirror. I would have liked a fresh haircut before today but I would have to manage without one. I run my hand up through my hair and that’s when I see it. That’s when it hits me like an anvil. I am wearing the wedding band.

I hadn’t given it much thought until this moment. Dani is used to seeing it on me but everyone else? I don’t want her to have to explain anything to her friends. And what about Elliott? I certainly don’t need that kind of conversation after eight or more years. I stare down at my left hand intently. How would Dani feel? Is asking her wrong? Would she feel weird if I ask her opinion? I wish I knew the answer. We could pretend for one more day to be more than what we are.

I finish drying off, get dressed, fix my hair, and even have time to trim up my beard before it’s time to think about leaving. I step in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of my bedroom and I’m pretty happy with the way I look.

Now is the moment of truth. I walk back out into the living room and grab my keys, wallet, and phone. I walk over to the dining room table and grab the enveloped with Dani’s name written across the front of it.

All right, Lucas. Let’s go get the birthday girl.

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