Page 46 of With This Lie

I think about his words for a little while. “How many times have you been in love?” I ask him.

He presses his lips together. “Just twice,” he says.

“So you’re pretty protective of yourself then,” I say.

“Pretty much,” he says.

Just twice. His wife and I wonder who else? I wonder who else captured his heart. I imagine for a moment it could be me even though I know better. Life is not that kind to me.

We towel off in silence and get dressed. We grab some breakfast before we head out. He insists we take his car instead of the bus since he has one and so we get in and prepare ourselves for the ride.

“So how come you don’t have a car for things like this at least?” he asks.

“I just don’t see a point in it. Everything I need is so close, aside from my mother. I can just take the bus to her. No real reason to have one,” I say.

“Fair enough,” he says.

I’m surprised by his willingness to accept my answer rather than hound me with a ton of follow-up questions like most people. This is one of the things I like about Lucas. He doesn’t push. He just accepts information for what it is. “I like that you’re driving and I can just stare at you as much as I want,” I say playfully.

He laughs at me. “Well, I am pretty good looking,” he boasts.

“You’re okay. Almost as good looking as I am.”

This is us in a nutshell. We like to play and tease. It’s easy. It’s fun. I’ve never experienced this before. As much as I’ve sought it out, this is the first time I’ve actually found it. Lucas makes it easy. He doesn’t know it but he makes it too easy. Because I think I’m falling and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it now.

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