Page 45 of For Now

“Just listen then. This isimportant.”

I sank back into the couch, attempting to get myself as far away from her as I could. She started pacing in front of the mantel as if she were trying to choose her words very carefully. She took slow, deliberate steps. Iwaited.

“I think it’s important for you to understand the truth about who I am. I’m Jeff’s new wife. I know this may come as a shock to you. I apologize for that. I just thought you should know. It’s only fair,” she said, looking at me as if she were waiting on aresponse.

I remainedsilent.

“I also think it’s important for you to understand that he doesn’t know I’m here or that I have been watching over you. In fact, he probably wouldn’t be very happy about it. I know he came to see you the other day. He doesn’t know I know that either. But I’m carrying his child now, and well, it was important for me to keep tabs on everyone. I think I have a right to. I’m sure youunderstand?”

“No, I don’t understand. I don’t understand how your new life with him has anything to do with me. I’m not in his life anymore and I don’t want to be. I don’t understand why you’re here or why you want to be friends. I don’t understand any of this!” Iyelled.

“Oh, dear. I thought you would have understood by now. I thought perhaps you’d have figured it out on your own.” She paused. She looked at me for a few moments, studying my face. She looked at me with pity, with empathy, almost like she felt bad forme.

“What do you mean?” Isnapped.

“You see, Jeff is still obsessed with you. You’re all I ever hear about. You’re all I ever worry about. And I clearly can’t go on, carrying his child, loving him, and being a wife to him with you, this wedge, between us. Don’t you see, Delilah? You have todie.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Panic is a funny thing.A horribly funny thing. For some, they become frantic, both body and mind. For others, panic somehow slows them down. For me, it was a little of both. My body swayed in slow motion as Mare put handcuffs around my wrists. Theclick-click-clickas she tightened them was fuzzy and far away. Meanwhile, my mind was racing. I thought about my parents who would get a call from Emma. I thought about Emma and her baby I would never meet. I thought about Samuel and Mason. I thought about Samuel coming over in the morning and being the one to possibly find me dead, if she was even going to do ithere.

My stomach fell and knotted. I felt wetness on my cheeks and tried to wipe them away with myshoulders.

“Don’t cry, Delilah,” shesaid.

“I don’t understand,” I said. “Your texts are so encouraging andnice.”

“I suppose that’s because if they were threatening, you’d have been more likely to report them or involve others. I couldn’t let that happen. And if I’m being honest, it was sort of fun to watch your confusion over the whole thing,” she said,laughing.

She sat next to me and I pulled back from her. She thumbed under my eyes and tried to hold my head to look at hers but I jerked away. “You don’t have to do this,” Ipleaded.

“Oh, yes, I do. And I’m sorry for that. But, listen. You have people who love you, people who will miss you. And they will miss you when you’re gone. That has to be a nice feeling.” Shesmiled.

“You’resick.”

Mare tilted her head at me. Her eyes were peaceful but a smirk played across her lips and I didn’t understand what she was feeling at all. I didn’t understand what kind of person was capable of something like this. Why would she think that killing me would solve anything? How could a person come to that kind of conclusion and find it perfectlylogical?

“Don’t worry, it will all be over soon,” she said. She stood up from the couch and went over to a small bag on the floor she must have brought with her. She took five or six bottles from it. I couldn’t tell what they were but they clanked together as she sat them on the floor beside her and the noise made me anxious. I watched as she read the labels and began mixing some of them together. She dumped some pills into her hand and crushed them into theliquid.

“I could leave the country. I could disappear completely and no one would have to know where I’ve gone,” I said, pleading with her for analternative.

“The first thing we have to do is get you drunk,” she said as she pulled out a bottle of vodka and ignored my pleas. She sat the bottle in front of me next to an emptyglass.

“Please don’t make me drink that. I can’t,” Ibegged.

“You can and you will or your death will be faster and far more painful. I’m trying to be human about this, Delilah. You should appreciate that,” she threatened. She sat down beside me, stone-faced this time. My bottom lipquivered.

“Why?” Iasked.

“Because you’re a very sad and lonely woman and you got drunk and you took some medications because you just couldn’t go on living with all this sadness inside you. Your sad life has beaten you,” shesaid.

“You’re going to make me commit suicide?” Igasped.

“Basically.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Now take a sip of this.” She pressed the opening of the bottle to my lips, ready to tilt it up. She nodded her head at me forencouragement.

I opened my mouth slightly. I felt the warmth slide down my throat for a moment before I pulled away, coughing. I never understood why people said vodka was virtually odorless and tasteless. They were liars. I hated vodka almost as much as I hated whiskey. There was nothing pleasant or smooth about it. I kept my eyes closed for a moment as she wiped mychin.

“Careful now, you don’t want to get it all down the front of you. That’s sloppy.” She giggled. She was truly insane. I felt a sort of delighted energy radiating from her, like she was thoroughly enjoying doing this to me. I couldn’t understand it. How could Jeff have ended up with someone like this? Where on earth did he find her? Was I really sohorrible?

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