Page 37 of For Now

I untied my robe and dropped it from my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor around my feet. I watched Samuel as he looked at me. His face was serious, intense. His eyes flickered across my almost naked body. His gaze started at my face and traveled down to my collarbones. I watched his eyes as they took in my breasts and down to my navel. His breathing was deep. I had put on a matching black lace bra and panties. It left very little to the imagination. His eyes made their way back up tomine.

“Perfect,” was the only word he uttered, breathy andslow.

I could feel my entire body blushing as he helped me up into the hot tub. I was hoping the heat of the water would mask how flushed my skin was. When I settled into one of the scooped seats, my body relaxed down into the water and I rolled my head back onto the edge of the tub.God, this is as close to heaven as I have everfelt.

Samuel took my left foot into his lap and started rubbing the bottom of it. I let out an audible moan. I think this was what people were talking about when they used the phrase “total relaxation”. I couldn’t recall a single moment in the past decade that felt this good. There were no words that did thisjustice.

“Can I ask you a question,Delilah?”

“I think we should just both agree that we don’t have to ask if we can ask a question from now on. We just ask the actual question. Agreed?” Ichuckled.

“Fair enough,” hesaid.

I could see hesitation on his face. He was collecting his thoughts. There may have even been a hint of worry. “What is it, Samuel?” Iasked.

“Do you like me?” he asked. My eyes shot open. I didn’t see that coming. Or maybe I did. I wasn’t even sure at this point. It was a valid question, after all. Given the short but dramatic track record we’d had. Samuel was a good man. He deserved the absolutetruth.

“It’s what I came to tell you yesterday, you know? When I saw you with your sister. I had just stepped out of the shower and I had this overwhelming need to find you and tell you. I got dressed as fast as I could and ran over there in the cold. When I saw you I almost just blurted it out without thinking. Then I started overthinking and ruined it. Then, you know therest.”

“Technically, you haven’t answered my question.” He raised an eyebrow atme.

“Yes, Samuel. I like you. I do. As much as I’ve tried not to. As much as I’ve tried to keep my guard up. I just can’t anymore,” I said, raising my head up to look athim.

Samuel stared at me, smiling and silent. He stopped rubbing my foot and started to move through the water toward me. Everything in me tightened. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck start to prickle, despite how hot the water was. His hand grazed the outside of my thigh and I could feel it in my toes. It had been more than eight years since I’d had anyone other than Jeff. That thought alone made my stomach flip. I closed myeyes.

“Delilah?” hewhispered.

“Yes?” I managed. I could feel his breath on my exposed collarbone. I could feel how close he was to me even with my eyesclosed.

“Open your eyes,” hesaid.

And I did. We were practically cheek to cheek and I finally exhaled. “You’re making me feel things,” Ibreathed.

“Delilah?” he whisperedagain.

“Yes, Samuel?” Ireturned.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” hewhispered.

Before I could respond, his hand wrapped around my jaw and into my hair. He leaned in and inhaled my neck, pulling his bottom lip against my cheek until his mouth hesitated just in front of mine. His face nudged mine and then his mouth pressed into my lips until I parted them. I felt his tongue against mine. He pulled back, nibbling at my bottom lip, and I felt a jolt deep between my legs. All at once I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and like maybe this was the first time I was breathing in a decade. I felt his hand begin to move down the length of my body and then over the inside of my thigh. My body was responding, pushing outward, pulling inward. For the first time in what seemed like forever, a man was touching me and I wasn’t flinching. He pulled his face from mine for amoment.

“I want you,” he whispered. “All ofyou.”

“I want you, too,” Iconfessed.

Samuel stood up, water trickling down his hot skin. He climbed out over the edge of the tub and extended his hand to me. I stood with my shoulders back and took his hand. He led me into the house, droplets of water trailing the cabin floor. He started up the stairs, never letting go of me. I climbed them willingly. I was ready forthis.

He stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to me. Everything was in slow motion and off balance, the way it feels when you’re drunk. He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed me softly on the cheek and down across my jaw. He kissed my mouth. There was an urgency growing inside me. I felt his hand move up my spine and he took my bra clasp between his fingers. With one flick, it was undone. I snapped back, eyeing him. He gave me the “this isn’t my first time”sideways smile and we both let out a little laugh. I shrugged my shoulders, took in a deep breath, and closed my eyes. This was it, one of those moments I’d remember forever. My naked heart and my naked body were going to be exposed at the same time. I felt his hand cup my chin and pull itup.

“Open your eyes, Delilah,” hesaid.

I opened them slowly. His beautiful mouth draped open slightly. Samuel was quite possibly the most perfect man I’d everknown.

“You are beautiful,” he whispered. “Never let your head hangdown.”

I said nothing. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I managed to nod as I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck. I needed his lips again. I needed him to devourme.

He finished undressing me on his knees. I felt his lips brush my thighs. I began to ache. We climbed onto the bed in that perfect Calvin Klein Jeans commercial way with my hands behind me and him over top of me. He laid me down gently with a single hand and slid it between my thighs. My sharp inhale fueled him. He slipped two fingers inside me, causing me to moan against his mouth. I felt alive in a way I hadn’t in so long I barely remembered I was allowed to. I got lost somewhere. This was an out of body experience. This was being so wrapped up inside myself, every feeling was amplified. If I had been holding onto anything, I surrendered it in thismoment.

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