Page 19 of For Now

I walked to the kitchen, preparing myself to scavenge the ingredients of some sort of meal I had not anticipated making. I heard Emma following me in and I prepared myself for the third-degree questioning. I found myself relieved that I had stocked up on wine. I had a feeling I was going to needit.

She knew better than to suggest more than a friendship with Samuel. I just wasn’t ready and despite his charming ways, I didn’t have anything more to offer him or anyone else at the moment. Perhaps I was too relaxed with him earlier. I hoped I hadn’t done anything to give him any other impression. Maybe I would have a talk with him later and make my stance a littleclearer.

I began to collect things from cabinets, pulling out pans and getting sort of organized.I’ve got this.Fortunately, I worked well under pressure. Emma started in with her questions and I gave her vague answers as I got busy around the kitchen. The silence grew after a few minutes and Emma put on some music. She walked into the living room and wrapped her arms around David and I allowed myself to be envious of them for just a moment. They had love. Real honest to goodness love. I hoped I would want that one day. I hoped one day I’d be ready forit.

I let the music take me. It was soft and soothing. My mind went to Samuel and Mason. What it must’ve been like to lose a wife and mother. They seemed very close in her absence and I’m sure it was true. They only had eachother.

I found myself recalling the details of Samuel’s face. I’d stolen glances at best and only managed to study the details once or twice. He was attractive, there was no doubt about that. I could say that, it didn’t mean anything.So what?He had the type of eyes you could fall into and never quite climb back out of, which is probably why I avoided eye contact with him most of the time. His mouth was pleasant. I didn’t have a better word for it. Pleasant. And his voice. That was the kicker for me. His square jaw was covered in the perfect amount of scruff. His hands were less than delicate looking but I hadn’t had a chance to catch the ink on his arms again. He wore long sleeves each time I saw him. I made a mental note to ask about his tattoos. I couldn’t believe it hadn’t come up in conversation yet. Surely, he saw mine peeking out,too.

I was pretty lost in thought when I heard my phone ding. A text message was sitting on the front screen across the bar and I glanced over to see. Unknown number.Again.

Everything will reveal itself with time. Don’tworry.

He will be good toyou.

My jaw dropped. My hands shook.Someone is watchingme?

Chapter Twelve

We wereall seated for dinner but my mind was somewhere else. Samuel and Mason had arrived and after introductions, we all sat down to alfredo. It was quiet at first. My head was filled with questions about the mysterious texts I kept getting. I didn’t want to alarm anyone, especially because they weren’t even threatening. But I was also sort of weirded out. Emma cleared her throat and it snapped me back. I realized I was the link here. My dinner guests didn’t know oneanother.

“So, Samuel, Delilah tells me you met at a diner?” Emma asked. I could always count on her to break thetension.

“I’d hardly call it a meeting. We ran into each other. Literally,” he said, laughing, as he looked atme.

His fondness for making me uncomfortable was getting out of hand. I was definitely going to talk to him tonight. He needed to know we could only be friends. He needed to know I was not what he was looking for and never couldbe.

Emma turned her attention to the little boy who was swirling a noodle around his fork. “Mason, what grade are youin?”

“Second. With Ms. Jones and my best friend Caleb.” Mason smiled big andbright.

His innocence poured out with his response and it made me smile. And that made his dadsmile.

Samuel and David settled into talking about some upcoming sports game on television this weekend and again my thoughts went to the texts I was receiving. Most people didn’t even know where I was. I hadn’t told anyone or made any grand announcement about moving. I never even told my agent where I was. So if someone knew I was here, they had been keeping tabs on me for a while. I started to get this uneasy feeling in my stomach. I found myself recounting steps, trying to remember if I ever noticed anyone suspicious around. Nothing was coming to mind. In the past, I’d never had any issues with my readers or anyone else for thatmatter.

Emma helped me clear the table and get the dishes in the dishwasher while Mason checked out the squirrels in the backyard. The guys sat on the couch and continued their conversation about sport things. I would never understand their obsession withsports.

“So, what’s going on with you guys?” Emma asked me in a hushedvoice.

“Nothing!” I quietly snappedback.

“Are yousure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. As a matter of fact, I need to talk to him about it tonight. I just want to make sure he knows where I stand. I can’t be getting mixed up in any kind of romance. And besides, I’m no good for him or anyone for that matter,” Isaid.

“You hush! You deserve happiness just like everyone else, Delilah. You can’t live in fear ofit.”

Perhaps she was right but I didn’t think I was living in fear of happiness. I was living in fear of all the things that happened instead of happiness. “Anyway, I’m just not ready,” I said, settlingit.

Emma rolled her eyes at me and dried her hands. She hated when I was stubborn, which was almost all the time. In truth, I knew she was just looking out for me but I wouldn’t budge onthis.

Emma and David said their goodbyes a few minutes later, which left me sitting on the couch with Samuel while Mason played a game on his tablet in the chair. I got us some tea to sip. I really wanted wine but I thought it would set the wrong tone for the discussion I needed to have withSamuel.

“So now that we’re almost alone, I really just wanted to say, I mean, what I needed to tell you is, um, well, I just don’t want you to get the wrong impression here. All I have to offer you is friendship. I’m not ready for anything more and I’m no good for anyone right now,” Isaid.

Samuel tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His fingertip brushed the top of my ear and my face was suddenly warm. This would be much easier if he didn’t do that sort ofthing.

“The last guy must have really done a number on you,” hesaid.

---