“I can never win with you.”

“And so you finally admit that you lose every argument with me. Well done. I know that took a lot of courage.”

Lucas groans and pantomimes dropping his head into the wheel, but still flashes me a bit of a crooked grin after.

“Gwen, I don’t know whether you’re the biggest bitch I know, or the smartest person I know.”

“They’re not mutually exclusive.”

He barks out a laugh.

“Fair enough.”

The pair of us settle into a brief silence as he navigates his bright cherry monstrosity through the packed urban traffic. But it doesn’t take long for him to pipe up. I love my brother, but he’s never been one to just sit in silence. And that’s gotten him in plenty of trouble, and he could stand to learn that sometimes, quiet was best.

“... You know, there’s… This thing I heard about with my new pack.”

I hum in dry indulgence, knowing that we were going into another round. I can see him glance over to me and have to stomach his indignance at my tone.

“Well. It’s this app.”

“Is it that new shopping one? All the stuff on there’s so cheap for a reason, Lucas.”

“No, it’s not that. Seriously, just hear me out.”

I prop my arm up on the car door and look at him with a silent raised eyebrow. He’s always talked with his hands, especially when it’s something he’s worked up about. So I can tell it’s something he’s put a lot of weight into because he starts carefully gesturing around with his free hand despite the fact he’s driving.

“So, it’s like a dating app.”

“Are we really having this conversation,” I deadpan.

“Shush. I asked you to hear me out.”

“I didn’t agree.”

“You—Just.”

I lift my eyebrow higher.

He just groans and thunks his head back against the driver seat.

“Gwen, I love you. I really really do,” he declares, clearly convincing himself that it remains the case.

“Uh-huh.”

I can’t help but amuse myself by toying around with him. He’s always been so fun to antagonize. It was how we bonded as kids, and that never really went away. And while he puts up afuss, he always swings back with the emotional roughhousing, so I don’t feel too bad for getting him all riled up.

“But it’s like a dating app for people like us. Well, it’s a mail order bride app, technically. But you can talk to the person you matched with anonymously and figure out if you two work, and then go for a little trial period in-person. A bunch of people in my pack have been doing it and they’ve been able to get mates. Even the Alpha and Luna got together through it.”

“... Are you seriously suggesting I sell myself off? I know I’m getting kicked out of my apartment Lucas, but do I really seem that desperate?”

“It’s notlikethat. Apparently it’s been really good for helping people find mates and packs of their own. A bunch of loners are finally getting to find their people through it, too. Since, you know, if you don’t have a pack it's pretty hard to find other people like us. Maybe you could find someone who doesn’t want to be in a pack either. Someone that gets you.”

Something twists in my chest and tightens my throat with that last line. I look away and try to find something to look at through the window, blinking away the burn behind my eyes without making it obvious.

I won’t admit it to him, but I can’t lie to myself. That sounds really nice. The idea of someone who could know all of me yet still understand and accept me…

A hollow pain pulses deep in my body. It’s not from any physical wound, but it might as well be a chronic injury. It’s an agony that was given to me by my first and only love. The boy who rejected our mate bond had done more than sever the tie of what should have been my greatest joy. I lost my wolf when he broke my heart. It felt like he killed her. And for the longest time, it felt like he’d killed me too.