Page 49 of Daddy's Mail Order Mate

“I might.”

I nod.

Neither of us say anything. We both move a bit, shifting and fussing.

“Well,” I finally pipe up. “Good night then.”

I see his throat bob from a silent swallow before he replies.

“Yeah. Good night.”

With an unusual sense of subdued suspense, I make my way out of the baby's room and head to mine. That was an unusual atmosphere, to say the least. If I didn't know any better, I’d think that maybe he might be wanting to spend time with me. But he’s not like that, particularly with how standoffish we've both been. I convince myself that he likely was just gathering information in his usual matter of fact way and leave it at that.

Getting ready for bed just intensifies how flustered I feel. When I take my clothes off to change, I'm just reminded of yesterday all over again. I really had been so desperate for the chance to be able to shift again that I went running through the woods naked with Thorn chasing after me. He'd seeneverything.

I stare down at my body, naked except for my panties. I can tell what sort of state I'm in just from the sheer fact my nipples could cut diamonds right now—and I know it's not because the room's cold.

“I can't keep this up,” I hiss under my breath as though I could scold my wolf face to face. I know in theory it's just a partof me, a face of my inner self. But at times like this, it really does feel like a whole separate entity lurking inside of me.

And all that side of myself seems to want to think about is Thorn. Is this what a fated bond is supposed to feel like?

“How the hell do people live like this?”

Maybe it becomes tolerable if the bond is acted on and you get it over with. At this rate I might just need to demand Thorn to put me out of my misery with one final pity fuck before I leave forever.

I slip a too-large tee on and get myself under the covers, hoping that I might just be able to get to sleep without too much of a problem. I haven't exactly been sleeping well lately, but that just means I'll get enough pent up exhaustion that I'll get a proper night's sleep eventually.

Unfortunately, trying to just unwind and let my mind wander brings it right back where I started. Behind my eyes I see the canopy overhead, then the curtain of black fur and the dual amber eyes boring down at me…

Then there’s Thorn, thrusting himself against me, growling and biting, panting hazily in my ear. My mind circles on it for what must be minutes, and I only catch myself when I notice I need to fight back a moan.

Goddamn it, I—

I bring my hand up sharply from where it'd mindlessly wandered between my legs, still faintly damp from rubbing at myself over my panties.

I use that very same hand to grab the pillow next to me and chuck it across the room in a blind act of needless violence, like maybe I could just chuck the memory away with it.

It helps a bit.

With that, I huff, turn myself around by practically throwing myself into the bed, and force myself to think of nothing at all.

Chapter 14 - Thorn

How am I supposed to get anything done with her around?

Other than her, I suppose. Because that is literally all my body seems inclined for now. It'd been two days since my mistake in the forest but it feels like I am fighting to think of anything else but her.

It has been over a year since I've been intimate with someone. Vanessa had been the last, and after Rowan… Well. Even if I had the spare time and energy to consider the idea, I’m now far too spooked to go idly enjoying myself with anyone. As much as I love my son, I don't want to make this a pattern for the sake of everyone involved.

But maybe I’m just feeling the effects of how long it's been. I've been masturbating every day since to try and take the edge off but the relief is only temporary. My morning shower had included just that but here I am not hours later staring at her like a starving man.

It's impossiblenotto stare. My laptop screen's been neglected for well over a minute now as I admire her. Thankfully she's busy playing with Rowan and her back is to me, so I have some leeway to get away with it without spooking her. I've been more than aware that we were more than somewhat inappropriate the other day without either of us meaning to be, and the last thing I want to do is make her any more uncomfortable than she already is.

But she is sobeautiful.That thought keeps cropping up over and over again, but that's because she persists in being just that. The blouse she has on today offers the most tantalizing peek of her collarbones, and all I want to do is kiss my way alongthem. And how she smiles at my son makes more than my heart warm. I'd do anything to see her smile more. Every movement of her arms as she jostles toys around and plies Rowan with affection makes me crave to have them wrapped around me again. Her legs are folded with a sort of artless elegance beneath her—it reminds me of the pretty sprawl of a doe's legs as she lays on the forest floor.

Which only reminds me of the forest again.

I break my gaze away back to my screen and try to remember what the hell I'd been working on. The fact that a good portion of my blood is routinely diverted away from my brain these days has put a damper on the clerical work I need to do for the Council.

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