Page 37 of Daddy's Mail Order Mate

If I’m honest with myself, I do really enjoy watching her with him. Whenever I watched other people take care of my son, there was this sense of impatience scratching through my skin. I felt desperate, territorial even, a sort of vigilance that refused to relax until he was back solely in my care. But even though she’d only been around him for a few days, it feels like whatever quadrant of my brain kept me paranoid every time someone else watched him finally shut up. It just seemsso rightto have her with him.

I glance over my shoulder from the sink and see her sat on the floor with him. They’re playing with one of his toys, and he’s giddily laughing and crawling along as Gwen sits there with this lovely smile on her face.

I watch them long enough that she notices me staring and we meet eyes again.

The morning light through the kitchen window catches her just right and once more, I am struck with just how beautiful she is. Her soft red curls glow like the edge of sunrise and all I want to do is run my hands through them. I want to kiss every little freckle that runs across her tanned skin, even if it takes me hours and hours.

“Thorn?”

“You should nap.”

She blinks, chuckles bitterly, and resumes actively focusing on playing with my baby.

“Is it obvious I barely slept?”

I turn back to the sink and continue working my way through the dishes.

“You need rest.”

“What I need is—... Nevermind.”

My throat clenches and I carefully set the plate in my hand on the drying rack.

“... I can help.”

“What?”

“Your wolf.”

She says nothing. I can’t look back at her, afraid of what I might see. I know how much of a bastard I must be to her, making what seems like a half-hearted offer to fix a massive wound I’d caused in the first place. But I’ve been haunted with thoughts of how isolating and terrifying things must have been for her if she’s been unable to access her wolf for all this time.

“Hah. Like when we were kids?”

“Yes. It worked, didn’t it?”

She hums, the sound troubled but not disagreeing.

There’s a little flare of tender hope in me at that. I can’t give her the truths she wants, but maybe I can help in other ways.

Maybe I can make it worth staying.

Maybe I can make up enough for what I’ve done that she’ll…

“We can go out to the woods later. If nothing else, it’ll give us a break from the packs for a bit.”

She scoffs dryly.

“That way we only have to do whatever pageantry they want to put on for the evening, yeah?”

I grunt in confirmation.

Gwen pauses a moment before a long sigh drifts out from her.

“You know what? Fine. If I’m going to give all this one last shot, I suppose I might as well make sure I’ve done my due diligence. When I show you that I’ll never be able to shift again, it’ll just be another set of nails for the coffin.”

The casual resignation in her flippant remark makes something stubborn churn in me. I feel my wolf start to stir, aggressive and certain that it can claw its mate out of her,if I just give him the chance.

My eyes flicker and I brace one hand on the sink, humanity tightening the chains that keep me civilized and sane against the overwhelming potency of my wolf’s instincts. I can feel the bestial sensations recede away from my body. There’s a hollow trace in my bones that aches to change, and my skin itches and feelswrong.

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