Page 36 of Daddy's Mail Order Mate

Eventually, he speaks up.

“... If you’d like to help with him, you could watch him while I clean up the kitchen.”

I scuff my fork across my plate, shoving a cloudy chunk of egg around.

“I’d like that,” I say softly.

My attention goes down to the little boy on his lap, and Rowan meets my gaze after a second and flashes me an easy smile. I can’t help but smile back, even though it makes me realize just how sore my eyes are from sleeplessness and all that crying.

“He likes you,” Thorn murmurs in an abruptly warm tone.

I look up to him feeling more than a bit startled. But Thorn doesn’t seem like he’s inclined to let the moment linger, as he keeps talking in a more sober tone.

“It’ll be good to get him home. Paige is lucky I love her enough to not just leave after we eat.”

I huff in dry amusement.

“Yeah, I feel the same about Lucas. It’d probably break his tender little heart if I took off after that shitshow last night. At least if I did it without giving him the opportunity to somehow convince me that being around a pack is some perfect wolfy American Dream lifestyle that I just need to give another chance. It’s like someone trying to convince you that the wood chipperwon’trip your arm off after it’s already lopped off your legs, all you have to do is give it another go.”

Thorn chuckles, just once. But from him that might as well be a big belly laugh. My heart squeezes with a cramp of pining nostalgia at that sound—god, I missed it so much. I’ve missedhimso much.

“Sounds about right.”

And when he says that, there’s an affection in the faint smile he gives me that I wonder if he’s missed me too.

Chapter 10 - Thorn

I’ve missed her.

I’ve missed herso much—more than I ever thought Icouldmiss someone.

Every new moment together with Gwen just brought up more of the old connection we had and the memories of how she made me feel. No one had felt quite like her, with all her sharp intellect, razor charm, determined care, and softness she hid beneath her guarded exterior.

I’m crushed by these thoughts in the wake of her dropping a casual retort just like she’d done all the time when we were young. Even in her teens, she was a master of sarcasm and dark, dry humor. It’s good to see that she’s clearly refined her art over the years.

She looks over at me with those big brown eyes and I know that there’s something my expression must be giving away, because her face shifts with a sort of seeking uncertainty.

I clear my throat and look down to Rowan to redouble my focus on taking care of him. The bottle weaning is still relatively new, but he’s already been doing so well. I can be nothing but proud of my little man.

“Bottle empty? Well done,” I softly utter and set the sippy cup aside. Rowan turns and grabs loosely at me. Every time after a meal, he likes to have a cuddle, and I’m not one to deprive him that. Especially with how much I have to be away from him, I’m glad for every chance to hold my son.

I negotiate him to be cradled up against me and then start to eat my meal with one hand. I’ve gotten so much practice doing almost everything with just one hand thanks to Rowan.

I take a bite of food and sigh. Gwen might think it’s from the relief of soothing my hunger, but it’s actually from some anxiety finally starting to unclench. I’d been skittish all morning since I realized Gwen was gone—her shoes were missing when I first came into the kitchen, and subsequent investigation proved it wasn’t just a fluke. My wolf had woken into overdrive, urging me to hunt her down and ready to attack anyone and everyone to find her. But after her response to me following her last night, I didn’t want to upset her further.

Hence the big breakfast. It wasn’t just an olive branch; I’d desperately needed the distraction to keep me from going stir crazy.

She seems alright enough, if she’s back here eating, making jokes, and even smiling at Rowan a little. But I can tell that she’s clearly not in the best condition.

Gwen is beautiful like always, but it makes my chest hurt to see her looking haggard and strained. There’s an exhaustion that weighs heavy around her eyes, and even a rim of red around them that makes me think she might have left the house to go find somewhere private to cry her eyes out. I can’t help but feel angry that she doesn’t feel safe enough to do that around me, but that just leads me to being rightly furious with myself for making that the case.

I want to be safe for her. I want her to be happy around me.

But I know that I’m not, and she can’t, and won’t ever be.

I shove that tangle of emotion down and absentmindedly eat my food while watching her.

The both of us finish the meal in relative silence, and I transfer Rowan into her care while I start working on the dishes.As a default, I would have preferred to keep minding my son, but Gwen clearly wanted to try and help and…

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