Page 60 of All The Pretty Little Lies

"I just want to feel something else," I confess, my voice barely audible. "Anything other than this constant dread."

There's a moment of hesitation, and then Oscar's lips find my neck, placing a gentle kiss just below my ear. The touch sends a jolt of electricity through my body, igniting a warmth that spreads from my core. He trails more kisses along my jawline, each one stoking the fire building within me.

I turn in his arms, facing him in the dim light filtering through the curtains. His blue eyes are dark with desire, mirroring the need I feel coursing through my veins. "Oscar," I breathe, "make me feel good. Please. I need to feel something other than fear."

His response is immediate. His lips capture mine in a searing kiss, erasing all thoughts of nightmares and leaving only a burning desire in their wake.

Oscar's weight shifts over me as he gently rolls me onto my back, his lips never leaving mine. The mattress dips beneath us, and I sink into its softness, feeling anchored by Oscar's solid presence above me. His hand trails down my side, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. When he reaches the hem of my nightgown, he hesitates, his fingers playing with the delicate fabric.

"Are you sure?" he whispers against my lips, his voice husky with desire. “I know you’re inexperienced. I need to hear with words that you want this.”

I nod, unable to form words that he wants as anticipation coils tightly in my belly. Oscar’s hand slips beneath my nightgown, his calloused fingers skimming along my thigh. The contrast between his rough skin and my softness sends shivers through my body. His touch is reverent, exploring every curve and dip as if committing it to memory.

As his hand inches higher, my breath catches in my throat. The room feels charged with electricity, every nerve ending hypersensitive to Oscar's touch. When his fingers finally brush against the apex of my thighs, a soft moan escapes my lips. Oscar captures the sound with his mouth, kissing me deeply as his fingers begin to explore my most intimate area. My body stiffens.

Oscar stops, and removes his hand, having caught my reaction. His blue eyes watching me intently.

“I’m okay,” I reassure him.

“I felt you stiffen.”

“I’m fine. I promise.” I nod, trying to convey with my eyes what I can't quite put into words. Oscar's gaze is tender, patient. He waits, his hand resting gently on my hip, giving me time to process. My heart races, not just from desire, but from the conflicting emotions warring within me.

I want this. I want to feel normal, to experience intimacy without the shadows of my past looming over me. But Zaire's face flashes in my mind, unbidden. I remember how I couldn't let him go further, how I pushed him away. The guilt and shame rise up, threatening to choke me.

No. I push those thoughts aside, focusing on Oscar's warmth, his gentle touch. I'm here, now, with him. I want to move forward, to reclaim this part of myself. I can’t keep allowing mynightmares to win. The only way to face my fear is to replace it with something much more powerful.

"I'm fine," I whisper again, my voice stronger this time. I don't mention the turmoil inside, the desperate wish to feel normal. Instead, I reach up, cupping Oscar's face in my hands. "Please, don't stop."

Oscar searches my face for a moment longer, then nods. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead, then my cheek, then finally my lips. The tenderness of the gesture nearly undoes me.

As his fingers resume their exploration, I close my eyes, focusing on the sensations. The soft sheets beneath me, the warmth of Oscar's body next to mine, the gentle pressure of his touch. I breathe deeply, willing my body to relax, to let go of the tension and fear.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I feel myself melting into his caress. The ghosts of the past recede, replaced by the present moment. Oscar's fingers move with careful precision, drawing sighs and soft moans from my lips.

I arch into his touch, craving more of the exquisite sensation. Oscar's skilled fingers dance over my sensitive flesh, teasing and stroking until I'm trembling beneath him. The fear and dread that had gripped me earlier dissolve, replaced by a burning need that consumes my every thought.

"Oscar," I gasp, breaking away from the kiss.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he admits.

“It’s okay. I know they gave me a contraceptive shot. Please..."

He understands my unspoken request, slipping a finger inside me with agonizing slowness. The feeling is indescribable – a perfect fusion of pleasure and fullness that has me clutching at his shoulders. Oscar sets a gentle rhythm, his thumb circling my most sensitive spot as his finger moves within me.

I lose myself in the sensations, my world narrowing to the points where Oscar's body connects with mine. The tension builds steadily, a crescendo of pleasure that threatens to overwhelm me. Oscar's lips find my neck, trailing hot kisses along my pulse point as he adds a second finger, stretching me deliciously.

"Let go, Vesper," he murmurs against my skin. "I've got you."

His words, combined with a particularly skillful twist of his fingers, send me over the edge. Wave after wave of pleasure crash over me, and I cry out Oscar's name as my body shudders beneath him. He holds me through it all, his touch gentle yet grounding as I ride out the aftershocks.

As the last tremors of pleasure subside, I open my eyes to find Oscar gazing down at me, his expression a mix of awe and desire. He starts to withdraw his hand, but I catch his wrist, holding him in place.

"Don't stop," I whisper, my voice hoarse with need. "Please, Oscar. I want more."

He searches my face, his blue eyes intense in the dim light. "Vesper, we can stop here. There's no rush-.”

I cut him off with a kiss, pouring all my longing and desperation into it. When we break apart, both breathless, I cup his face in my hands. "I've never made a choice in my life, Oscar. You're the first choice I want to make."

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