Page 55 of All The Pretty Little Lies

I expect Oscar to laugh, but when I glance over, his expression is tight, his eyes fixed on the horizon. The jealousy I'd sensed earlier is now palpable, radiating off him in waves.

"Oscar," I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinches slightly at the contact but doesn't pull away. "Why does it bother you so much? Me spending time with Zaire?"

He tries to brush it off, shaking his head with a forced laugh. "It doesn't. Why would it?"

But I press on, determined now. "Don't do that. Don't lie to me. I've seen the way you look when Z and I come back from our walks. The way you withdraw. Why?"

Oscar's face darkens, a storm brewing in his eyes. He pulls away from me, taking a few steps back. "Drop it," he says, his voice low and tight with barely contained emotion. "It's nothing. Forget I asked."

I follow him, my feet sinking into the sand as I try to keep up with his now longer strides. "Oscar, wait!" I call out, frustrated by his evasion. "Talk to me, please!"

He whirls around suddenly, his eyes blazing with an intensity that takes my breath away. "You want to know why?" he asks, his voice low and tight with emotion. "I'm jealous, okay? I'm jealous of what you have with my brother."

I blink, taken aback by his admission. "What?"

Oscar runs a hand through his hair, his frustration evident in every line of his body. "You cling to Zaire like he's your lifeline. You seek him out when the fear creeps in. But it was me, Vesper. I was the one who didn't give up on you. He almost did."

His words hit me like a physical blow, leaving me reeling. Oscar's eyes bore into mine, a tempest of emotions swirling in their depths. His chest heaves with ragged breaths as he struggles to contain the flood of feelings he's kept bottled up for so long. The wind whips around us, mirroring the storm brewing between us.

“Watching you with Zaire and Talon, it kills me.” Oscar's eyes meet mine, filled with a desperate longing. "I know it's selfish. I know I should be grateful that you're healing, that you're finding happiness again. But I can't help but feel like I'm losing you all over again. And the worst part is, you don't even know what you mean to me...”

The world seems to still around us, the crashing waves and crying gulls fading into a distant hum. Oscar's words hang in the air between us, heavy with the weight of unspoken truths and forgotten memories. I stand there, my mind reeling, trying to process the flood of information he's just unleashed.

Oscar's eyes, usually so guarded, now shine with a vulnerability that takes my breath away. The intensity of his gaze pins me in place, and I find myself lost in the depths of blue that seem to hold entire universes of emotion.

"I...I don't understand," I stammer, my voice barely above a whisper. "What do you mean? What I mean to you?"

He takes a step closer, and I can see the internal struggle playing out across his features. His jaw clenches and unclenches as if he's fighting against the words that want to spill out.

"From the moment I saw you at St. Jude's," he begins, his voice low and rough with emotion, "I knew. God, Vesper, I knew you were it for me. You walked into that classroom, and my whole world shifted.”

The sand beneath my feet suddenly feels unsteady, and I sway slightly. Oscar reaches out instinctively to steady me, his hand warm and strong on my arm. The touch sends a jolt through me, awakening something deep and primal that I can't quite name.

"But I couldn't let myself have those feelings," he continues, his eyes never leaving mine. "You were untouchable. The Rossi princess, destined for a political marriage to strengthen alliances. And I was just me. A second son with no real power or influence.

Oscar's hand slides down my arm, his fingers intertwining with mine. The contact sends shivers racing up my spine. "I kept my distance because I knew that having you, even for a moment, and then losing you would destroy me. So I watched from afar, content to be in your orbit, even if I could never truly be part of your world."

Oscar's eyes meet mine, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. "Having to sit across from you, pretending to be my Uncle’s obedient nephew when your father told you about your engagement was pure torture. Worse, having to be my Uncle’s spy to make sure you were as pure as your father led my uncle to believe.”

“Then why did you do it? Why did you risk everything to get me away from Dmitri?”

“Because I am a selfish fucking asshole who would rather rip you away from the family and life you knew than allow you tomarry my monster of a cousin. He would have stolen the light out of your eyes,” he admits. “I couldn't bear the thought of you being tied to him, being forced into that life. It was unbearable."

I can see the pain etched into every line of his face, feel it radiating off him in waves. My free hand moves of its own accord, reaching up to cup his cheek. Oscar leans into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment.

“That’s why you offered to get me out? Because you had a crush on me?”

“A crush doesn’t begin to explain the way I feel about you, Vesper. School boy idolizations don’t even come close. The lengths that I would have gone to touch you back then. When I stole you away during that fight, my control was carefully leashed. To be so fucking close to you, to touch you, it drove me crazy. I wanted to claim you in that classroom. To take you and ruin you so you would never be able to marry Dmitri. I would have defiled you, my evening star, until your light blinded the world.”

Oscar's free hand comes up to cup my face, his touch impossibly gentle. "I know I have no right to feel this way. No right to be jealous of the comfort you find in Zaire or Talon. But every time I see you smile at them, it kills me. Not because I begrudge you finding comfort, but because I know it should have been me. I should have been the one to help you heal, to be there for you. But I failed you, and now I have to live with that guilt every single day."

My heart aches for him, for the pain and guilt he's been carrying all this time. Without thinking, I step closer, closing the distance between us. My free hand comes up to rest on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath my palm.

"Oscar," I whisper, my voice barely audible above the crashing waves.

His eyes widen in surprise, a flicker of hope dancing across his features before doubt clouds them once more. I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. The wind tugs at my hair, sending strands dancing across my face. Oscar reaches up instinctively, tucking them behind my ear with a tenderness that makes my heart skip a beat.

"When it mattered most, Oscar, you were there," I continue, my voice growing stronger. "You found me. You saved me. And even now, when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, terrified and lost. You're always the first one there, anchoring me back to reality. Yes, Zaire and Talon have been there for me. Yes, I have a connection with them. Maybe it’s a trauma bond. Maybe it’s more. I don’t know. But what I do know right now is this, I need you, too.”

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