Page 53 of Devil's Queen

As I enter his room, Beaux stirs slightly in his sleep, his face illuminated by the soft light. I gently stroke his hair, tracing the familiar contours of his face with my fingertips. How can someone so small bring so much light into my dark existence?

Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes as I realize that it’s not just Rex I have to protect Beaux from, it’s also the truth. But secrets have a way of unraveling themselves eventually. And if Beaux were to learn about his father from someone else, someone who doesn’t have his best interests at heart, the consequences could be devastating.

I sit on the edge of Beaux’s bed, watching him sleep peacefully, cherishing these precious moments before everything changes. I take a deep breath and gather my strength, knowing that this conversation will shape our lives forever.

“Beaux,” I whisper softly, gently shaking him awake. His eyelids flutter open, revealing sleepy blue eyes that mirror my own.

“Mom?” he murmurs, rubbing his eyes with his fists. “Is it time for school already?”

I shake my head, trying to brush away the tears that threaten to spill over. “No, sweetheart. Not yet.” Beaux yawns wide and stretches his arms over his head. “Come to the kitchen when you’re ready. I’m going to go whip us up some pancakes.”

I leave my son there, half-awake in his bed, and head toward the kitchen to get started on breakfast. I’m not a great cook by any means. I didn’t inherit that gift from my mama in the least bit, but the one thing I can make is pancakes.

Pulling the mix from the pantry, I get to work. By the time the last pancake goes on top of the stack I’ve made, I hear Beaux’s shuffling feet coming down the hallway toward me.

He enters the kitchen, his hair still tousled from sleep, wearing his favorite superhero pajamas. The sight of him brings a bittersweet ache to my chest. How I wish I could freeze this moment and shield him from the harsh realities that await us.

“That smells good,” Beaux says with a yawn, rubbing his eyes once more. I manage a weak smile and gesture toward his spot at the table. I grab the plate with his stack of pancakes, putting it onto the dining table as he slides into his spot.

His face lights up as he takes his seat, his small fingers eagerly picking up the syrup bottle. There’s something comforting about this mundane routine that makes me want to hold onto it for as long as possible. But I know that I can’t hide the truth any longer.

As Beaux digs into his pancakes with gusto, I take a deep breath, summoning the courage to begin the conversation that will shatter his world. How do I explain to him that his father was never a part of his life because of my choices?

“Mom?” Beaux looks up at me, syrup dripping from his chin. “What’s wrong? You look sad.”

I reach across the table and gently wipe away the sticky mess with a napkin. “Nothing is wrong, sweetheart. I just need to talk to you about something important.”

His innocent eyes search mine, sensing the gravity of the moment. “Okay,” he says softly, putting down his fork.

I take a moment to gather my thoughts before speaking, carefully choosing my words.

“I need to tell you something about your father. I know we haven’t talked much about him, but there’s a reason for that,” I begin, my voice trembling. His eyes widen with curiosity and a hint of confusion. “You see, Beaux, your father… he didn’t know about you.”

Beaux’s brow furrows as he tries to process the information. “Why didn’t he know about me?”

My heart aches at the innocence in his question. “It’s because of the choices I made, Beaux. Choices that I thought were best for both of us at the time.”

He tilts his head slightly, his gaze fixed on me.

I take a deep breath, gathering the strength to unravel the truth that has haunted me for years. “Your father, Rex, he was involved in things… dangerous things. Things that could have put our lives at risk. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I had to make a choice to protect you or expose you to a world that could have shattered the little happiness we had.”

Beaux’s eyes widen even further, his small hand reaching out for mine across the table. “You protected me, Mom?”

I nod, tears welling up in my eyes. “Yes, Beaux. I did everything in my power to keep you safe. That meant keeping your father’s identity a secret and walking away from him.”

“Is the man from your office my dad?”

I take a moment to compose myself, trying to find the right words to explain what he saw without revealing too much. “Yes, sweetie,” I say softly, squeezing his hand gently. “The man last night was… is your father.”

Beaux’s eyes widen with a mix of confusion and surprise. “Does he know about me?”

“He does. I told him last night,” I admit. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling voice. I feel a lump forming in my throat as I struggle to find the right words.

“Can I meet him?”

“I don’t know, Beaux. I don’t know if it’s the right time or if it will ever be the right time. But I promise you this… I will always do what is best for you.”

Beaux’s disappointment is palpable as he looks down at his half-eaten pancakes. His tiny shoulders slump, and I can see the weight of this revelation settling on him.

---