Page 16 of Absolution

“Leave,” I demand. “I don’t want you here.”

“Is that what you really want? After everything I’ve given you.”

“You haven’t given me shit,” I recoil. Where does he come off as if he was the one who gave me the world? He may have made it a bit more tolerable, but everything that I have ever been given in this world came with a price that I paid with pounds of my flesh. The only thing that he has given me is a reason to stay here.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? What have I given you? I’ve given you the space that you seemed to need. I’ve given you time to figure your shit out. Do you know what I haven’t done?” he yells, as my body trembles from his vicious tones.

I sheepishly shake my head in response, when no audible words spill from my lips in the response that he’s waiting to hear from me.

“I haven’t figured out what made you run away from the club, from Dani, and especially why you ran from me.”

He’s purposely baiting me into giving him what he wants, but I know once I tell him about Asher that he’ll never understand why I am going to such lengths to get him.

The club is his home.

The men who ride beside him are his brothers.

Those are the things that matter to him.

His family was forged in fire, while mine lies tattered in the winds of abuse and betrayal. This is a concept that only someone who has lived through would understand. Asher is my chance to have a piece of what a real family should feel like, and I want to hold onto that splintering thread as hard as I can. I may not even know Asher, but he is my blood, and that’s all that matters.

If I told him, Ratchet would only push his way into the situation, ending any chances that I might have of getting custody of Asher. A biker and my checkered past would only ensure that Asher would stay in the hands of my father for the rest of his life. It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

“You don’t understand,” I mutter, before he cuts me off again. He starts to object, but the side door swings open, and out steps Willie.

“Ricca, your break ended twenty minutes ago,” he yells out, before seeing me pinned to the wall by Ratchet. Willie’s body tenses, readying for a fight. “What the hell is going on out here?” he drawls, as his fists curl up at his sides. “He messing with you?” He starts towards us.

I shove Ratchet away, and this time he moves. The farther he is from me the better chances he has of Willie not trying to kick his ass. Willie might be the heavy weight champ of ass kicking in his bar, but Ratchet would wipe the floor with him. Something I want to avoid entirely. Willie saunters his way over to us, settling next to Ratchet’s side.

“It’s fine, Willie. Just a friend from a past life, saying hello.”

Ratchet narrows his eyes as soon as the word friend leaves my lips. We both know that word doesn’t even begin to describe our relationship on even the basic level. Truthfully, I don’t even know if there is a word in the dictionary that could describe it. We’re just us. Two complicated, dark souls trying to find a place in each other’s presence without self-destructing.

“You sure that you’re okay?” Willie questions further, watching Ratchet intently.

“I’m sure. He just wanted to say goodbye before he took off. Isn’t that right?” I nervously respond, urging him to follow my lead, before we both land in hot water with my boss and the local authorities.

“That so, young man?”

Ratchet stares at me, while I smile back and shake my head pleading.

“That was my plan, but I think I might just stick around a bit longer,” he retorts, sending my face spinning towards his. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a quiet place like this to do some soul searching. Maybe I’ll even take in a bit of its history, since my girl here seems to like it so much.”

Willie assesses him again, before dismissing him as a threat.

“Well then, why don’t we let Ricca here get back to work so you and I can have a chat about this place. I’ve lived here my whole life and if it’s history you’re wanting, I’m your man.”

Willie declares, slapping Ratchet roughly on the shoulder. The impact doesn’t even make him jostle a single inch. Ratchet just smirks at my boss. He knew exactly what this exchange was. A who’s the bigger badass pissing match. Willie smirks at us both, before turning on his heels to move toward the door. He stops just as he opens it and looks back at us.

“Sugar, the customers are waiting.”

“I’m going, Willie,” I say, but Ratchet grabs my wrist and pulls me back against him before I get too far.

“This isn’t over. We’re going to have a talk later. You best believe me, Siren,” he whispers, in hushed tones. The vibration of his words against my skin sends a wave of goose bumps prickling on the surface.

I push away from him and head into the open-door Willie has hanging open. Ratchet follows me in, but Willie leads him back over to one of the bar tables.

I watch them both the entire rest of my shift. Ratchet and Willie talk and periodically laugh for over an hour, before the customers finally start trickling out after I make the announcement for last call. I duck back into the kitchen to take a container of dirty glasses back to our dishwasher, but when I return to the bar top, Ratchet is gone. An exacerbated sigh escapes my lips both in relief and nerves. Ratchet isn’t one to give up easily, and for him to disappear on me without trying to get his answer again has me on edge.

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