Page 7 of Absolution

I innocently smile back, before flicking open the blade with my fingers. The sound instantly draws his attention to my lap, and shock fills his eyes. I maneuver the blade ever so carefully towards his crotch and stop short of pressing it against his zipper.

“Touch me one more fucking time, and you’ll be singing soprano the rest of your life. Do you understand me, Billy? Now be a good boy and let me go because I am not the kind of bitch you want to mess with, old man.” I whisper into his ear.

His arm peels away from my skin, while his friend looks on in confusion. From his point of view, all he can see is his friend Billy feeling me up and me whispering softly in his ear. I remove the blade from his crotch and flip it closed, before sliding it back underneath my skirt into its sheath. Sliding out from the booth, I stand and straighten my skirt to make sure the blade stays covered for the rest of the folks in the diner. His friend continues to look at us both clueless.

“As kind of an offer as yours is Billy, I think I am going to have to pass on that job interview,” I sweetly smile back. “Can I get y’all anything else?” I add making sure to play along with the good southern girl charms. Billy remains silent and Jerry shakes his head no.

I quickly turn from them both and head back to the counter top, where Susie stands wiping off the bar. It shocks me by how content Susie looks in this place, but I am bursting at the seams to get my brother and blow this popsicle stand again. It took less than a month here to remind me why I don’t do small towns anymore. Men like Billy and Jerry were lurking around every corner because of my mother and her reputation. Being the bastard child of the town bicycle, doesn’t exactly paint me in a good light, and the assumptions that I followed her in her career path, seem to be running rampant in the small-town rumor mill. You’d think they would have run out of rumors to spread about me by now, but sure enough, new ones just keep popping up.

Ripping off my apron, I toss it to Susie as I pass behind her.

“Where are you going, Ricca?” she calls out after me, brushing her long, blonde hair out of her face.

“On break. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” I respond, as I grab my jacket from under the counter and head towards the side door. Not even giving her a chance to respond, I am out of the door and into the early spring air. The brisk temperatures suck the air from my lungs as soon as I am away from the heated warmth of the diner. It’s usually not this chilly during April, but as they say in the Midwest, if you don’t like the weather blink and it will change. I’m just glad that it hasn’t snowed much this year because I am not exactly equipped for that kind of thing after living in California for so long. I like the sun and not this cold, gray stuff that is the Midwest, in the winter and early spring.

Quickly wrapping my jacket around my shivering body, I rub my hands together to generate more body heat. While most come out here to take a drag off of their cigarettes, I just want a moment to myself. The situation I found myself in, with guys like Billy and Jerry, have happened far more times than I would like to admit in my life, but now they snap me back to my time in the Tribe’s dungeon of horrors. I managed to keep my cool and somewhat of a level head this time, but from the moment I stepped foot outside, my heart began to race in the rumblings of a panic attack on the horizon. The façade of strength that I displayed is only surface glamor. I know how to put on a good show, and I also how to fake my way out of a situation, but the inside of me is filled with fear and nerves. The tough girl part of me died in the desert where the last shred of my innocence is buried. I emerged from that place a shell of my former self with the ability to play pretend, when the situation called for it.

Leaning against the cool brick of the diner, I close my eyes and focus on slowing down my breathing. The tension in my body slowly melts away over the course of a few minutes. I open my eyes to see the two men who caused this getting in their truck and eventually driving away.

While most would have reported the situation to the local police, I knew I couldn’t. The need for a job and to keep my nose clean, outweighed the need for justice for those two asshats who thought it was fine to proposition me. I just hoped that the next time they tried to pull something like this, that someone much braver than me would turn them in or worse, sick their boyfriend on them. I just had to wait for Karma to come after them like it had for me.

The door next to me flies open with a loud bang, startling me.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaim, jumping out of the way of the swinging door.

Joe’s large frame appears in the door way as he scowls at me.

“Break time’s over, Erica. Get your ass back in here and do your job. Susie can’t keep covering your tables, while you’re out here sleeping on the job.”

I force myself to stow the one finger salute that I’d like to present to him. Joe may be my boss, but the day I finally get to quit this joint will go down in history for the best “take your job and go fuck yourself” moment in the history of quitting. Shoving away from the wall, Joe doesn’t move and forces me to squeeze past him in the doorway. My stomach rolls as I do, but I manage to keep my lunch down, while mentally taking a note to wash my work clothes tonight. The greasy food smell is bad enough, without adding in Joe’s unique aroma of body odor and three-day-old cheese, in the mix. I doubt even bleach could help him smell fresh and clean.

I make my way back to the counter, stow my jacket, and don my apron, before diving back into the daily grind of the lunch rush. A few short hours later, I wave goodbye to Susie and head home for a quick shower and change of clothes, before heading off to Willie’s for the night. At least there, my night of grabby men will come with a few shots of whiskey, and a hangover that might help me sleep through the nightmare that is my life.

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