Page 41 of Absolution

“That last may come sooner rather than later.”

I slip from the chair, and settle in beside her.

“I know that this makes me the world’s biggest asshole, but you have to understand that I did this for you and for Asher. Not every child in the foster care system has someone on the outside fighting for them. He deserves a chance to have you in his life. I may not have had the same opportunity, but I want that for you both. That’s why I did this, and I do not regret it for a single moment. I meant what I said this morning when I told you that I love you. I may not be the smartest man when it comes to relationships, but if I can make you happy, for just one second of the day, then I am doing my job right.

She remains silent as the grave, while my heart is beating a thousand miles an hour.

“I want to make a promise to you, here and now. If in a year’s time, you want out of our marriage, I’ll give that to you. No argument. No fight in court. You can be free and clear if you just say the word. This wasn’t a move to trap you into a relationship with me, and I want you to know that. I will take your lead, and follow it until you tell me to leave.”

I shove the ball in her court, and all I have left is to wait for a sign. A sign of anything between us that can be salvaged. Her muteness continues for several minutes. I can tell that there’s something else on the tip of her tongue that she wants to say, but she stalls. Flopping her back against the couch, she lets her head fall against the back of it. She hisses forgetting her wound, but stays where she is.

“We’re married, and I don’t even know your real name. How can we be married and I don’t even know your first name?”

“Jude,” I proudly state. “My real name is Jude Azzo.”

“Jude,” she repeats, testing it on her own lips.

“Does that mean you’ll give this a shot, Siren?”

She lifts her head from the couch, locking her beautiful brown eyes on mine.

“I’ll give you your year, but this isn’t me giving you a free pass from the dog house. You have to work a little bit harder than that to get back into my good graces.”

The biggest sigh of relief in my life, escapes my lips. While I’m still in deep shit, at least our relationship isn’t over completely. She is the first person who I have ever told my story to outside of Jagger, and it feels good to open up more about my past to the woman I want to be my future. Even though we’re technically married already, I want to her know more than on a carnal level. I want to know her soul, her body, and her mind like no other person ever has.

Reaching across the couch, I rub my hand across her chin and pull her into a kiss. She leans into me, and for the first time, I truly know what it feels like to be owned by someone completely. I break the contact, and a lingering question pops into my head.

“I have to ask, Siren. What were you looking for underneath that bed?”

She smiles back at me, and suddenly I get the feeling that I may not want to know that answer.

“My knife to cut off your balls.”

Yep, I definitely didn’t want to know that at all.

Was having Voodoo hack the system, in California, to legalize a marriage license wrong? Maybe. Was having her sign it without telling her what it was worse? You bet your ass it was, but it’s a necessary evil to help her. She would have never agreed to do it, even if it was the best course of action to take. Ricca has lived a life where decisions and choices were never hers to make until now, and being the asshole that I am, I did the same thing. Even if it was for her own good and for the sake of her brother, I’d do it all over again.

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