Page 2 of Absolution

“Yeah, sure,” I mumble, walking past her heading for the closet.

“The guys headed out super early this morning, but I made breakfast if you want some,” she utters with a hint of nervousness about her. How far we have fallen in our relationship. From roommates to enemies to this awkwardness displayed before me.

“Sure, I’ll be out in just a minute. Just let me get dressed,” I declare, while stepping into the closet. My heart begins to ache knowing that Ratchet left, but at least I can tell myself it was because of club business. Was it an excuse to mask the pain I am feeling? Yes, but anything to make the pain temporarily go away is what I need in this moment. Feelings hurt too much, and I just want to be numb again. Before I had drugs to make them go away, but now that isn’t an option for me. Sobriety has been a bitch to obtain, and I wasn’t about to go back through that hell again.

I begin to think of his brooding face, when flashes of the night before the men arrived back to the clubhouse, flicker in my brain.

Oh god.

Darcy. The poker game. Ratchet throwing my semi-nude body over his shoulder and carrying me into his room. The heat and passion between us as he fucked me against the wall of his room and in his bed after.

“You’re mine, Ricca,” he moans as he thrusts inside of me the first time. “This body belongs to me now.”

Each memory shocks my system and leaves me breathless.

“Earth to Ricca,” Dani chides from the door way of the closet, while snapping her fingers in front of my face. Shit, I didn’t even notice that she followed me in here. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little lost in space.”

I plaster on a fake, reassuring smile knowing that it’s the quickest way to get rid of her.

“Yup, I’m right as rain,” I smile. “Why don’t you go throw whatever you made for breakfast on a plate for me, and I’ll be out in a few.”

She eyes me before turning and leaving. Dani knows something is amiss, but doesn’t want to pry. This is what has become of our rocky relationship, after I practically shoved her into this kind of life. She’s here because of my stupidity. At least her story ended far happier than mine. She has a good man and two beautiful newborn daughters. I’ve got nothing to show for it, except the scars that sting like bad memories each time I trace their outlines on my skin. The cuts may only be superficial, but they lie far deeper inside of me.

As soon as the door clicks shut, I breathe for the first time. Every smile exhausts me, and I know sooner rather than later, Dani will see through me just like Ratchet did.

Slipping the towel from my body, I toss on a sports bra, hoodie, and a pair of the softest leggings I’ve ever felt with cute little sugar skulls on them. Walking from the closet, I grab the towel off the floor and dry my long, blonde hair. I make quick work of braiding it and start for the door, when my cell phone rings.

“That’s weird,” I mutter to myself as it continues to ring. I pad over to the nightstand where my phone lays and unlock the screen. A familiar zip code flashes as the ringtone continues to sing.

I slide my finger across the illuminated green button and take the call.

“Hello?”

“Hello,” a feminine voice responds. “Is this a Miss Erica Delmont?”

“Yes, that’s me,” I stutter. “And who the hell are you, and why are you calling so damn early?”

“I’m sorry for the early call Miss Delmont, but I wasn’t exactly sure where you lived. My name is Elizabeth Brewer, and I am calling from the Hancock County Coroner’s office.”

My heart stops. No. No. No.

“I am sorry to have to do this over the phone Miss Delmont, but your mother has died.”’

I freeze instantly at her words and remain silent.

“Miss Delmont, are you still there? Did the connection drop?”

“Yes,” I reply. “How?”

“Excuse me?” Elizabeth questions.

“How did my mother die?” I forcibly ask.

“An overdose.”

Jesus. After all these years, she was still using. Not that it shocked me, but I had hoped after the ten years since I last saw her that she would have at least tried to clean up her act.

“… your brother is too young to claim her body so you will need to come in yourself to do that, Miss Delmont,” the woman on the phones continues while my mind was wandering.

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