Page 37 of For the Love of the Lawyer

Audrey was hesitating, so he pushed. "Okay, lay it on me. I know you've got a lot of thoughts you've held back, but I need you to talk to me. You know me better than anyone else, and I need you to help me figure this out, Audie.” Jon picked at a piece of pizza crust on his plate.

Audrey smiled at him as she took a sip of her water before she rose to clear away the debris. "How're you sleeping?"

He chuckled with no evident humor. "For shit, as a matter of fact. Trust me, Karen and Sara have both pointed out the bags under my eyes. What else?"

"I noticed you only picked at a piece of pizza, Jonny, and you love this pizza.” Audrey pulled the sheet of coupons off the empty box and tossed them in the menu drawer.

"Those are obvious things, Aud. Give me something more concrete. I don't know how the hell it should feel to be in love. I… I don't think I'm capable…"

She held up her hand and placed it gently over his mouth. "You're more than capable of loving someone, Jonathon. You'veloved me for a long time, and I know it's different from what you’re facing now, but you're a very loving person.”

Audrey sounded sincere in her observation, but he doubted it. She loved everyone, and everyone loved her in return.

Audrey withdrew her hand before she spoke. "The way I see it, you're struggling with the fact that Mickey is so different from any guy you've ever met, and it's throwing you off. You remember Cara Walls? Journalism major. Hardcore masc with an attitude? I dated her for a month during junior year?"

Oh, he remembered Cara Walls. Audrey was a beautiful woman with a loving, sophisticated demeanor. Cara Walls was looking to slam anyone of the male persuasion into a brick wall and do as much damage as possible. She thoroughly hated Jon and made no secret of it. "Yeah. She was offensive on all counts.”

Audreytskedhim. "She was different, Jonny. Remember how she convinced me I was following in my dad’s footsteps because I was begging for his approval and attention, which we know is bullshit, but she was determined to show me the light. She was going to liberate me from the expectations of my parents which were like a yoke on my shoulders, as she told me one night.”

“She was full of shit.” Jon didn’t hesitate to share his thoughts on the matter.

“All she succeeded in doing was showing me I wasn't about to become as bitter as her when it came to love and relationships. Her parents hated her because she was a lesbian, and they thought it was a choice. It hurt her deeply, and she took that hurt out on everyone around her. I wasn't ready to own my sexuality back then, but I knew in my heart my parents wouldn't be as hard as hers. She was the one who turned me on to beautiful ballerinas with bright smiles and saucy opinions.” Audrey’s smile was a mirror of the love she felt for Lyla.

“Not much better.”

"Now, I remember Barron the Flake, and I don't think Mickey is anything like him. He's different than the guys you usually fuck because he's handsome, and he's smart on a different level than a lot of people I've ever met. He seems to be an old soul if you really talk to him and listen. Just give him a chance, okay?”

Jon had a lump in his throat and merely nodded.

"I think if you let go of how you went about picking up twinks or however you classify the guys you used to fuck and look at Mickey for the person he is, you'll see him as a man of much more substance than anyone you've ever met. I also believe you need to get over yourself as the man-about-town in Richmond and try to be more than a pretty face in stylish clothes. You just might be able to see through the forest of superficial bullshit you've held so important in the past and find a beautiful tree full of love and kindness just ready to bloom. Give it a shot.” Audrey leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek which he appreciated.

He sure hoped she was right.

Chapter Fifteen

Mickey was cleaning up the feed room at the Circle C in preparation for the weekend festivities when he heard a whistle in the hallway. He stepped out to see Ethan Sachs saunter toward him with a bright, welcoming grin. Mickey returned it, happy to see his friend again. The nerves set in shortly thereafteras he remembered what had caused the estrangement in the first place—an ill-timed, poorly thought-out, kiss.

"Ethan, dude, it's good to see you. How's the graduate? I didn't know you were able to graduate a year early until Tim told me about it.” Mickey shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans so as not to touch the kid and possibly freak him out.

Ethan Sachs was a handsome guy, and he'd grown a few inches since the last time Mickey had seen him, or so it seemed. When Heath walked in behind him, Mickey really started to worry and took a second to contemplate how quickly he could outrun a bullet.

"You coulda come to the party, ya know," Heath told him. Mickey was totally confused, so he froze on the spot.

Ethan looked over his shoulder and chuckled. "Daddy, that ain't gonna put him at ease. He already thinks I'm a lovesick stalker. Leave him alone.”

Mickey chuckled nervously. "Naw, kid, I never thought you was a stalker. It was my fault for—"

"Mick, don't start. We just got caught up for ‘bout a hot minute and did a stupid thing, okay? Daddy freaked out when I told him I was gay, but he and Momma are gettin' used to the idea. Miss Katie says you won't come ‘round the Katydid cause you're afraid Daddy's gonna kick your ass. I'd like to work there, but I don't wanna make it so you don't come over to see Josh and Miss Katie.” Ethan put his hands on his hips.

It wasn't a lie. Mickey was concerned Heath would kick his ass, and he knew he wouldn't fight back because he respected Heath Sachs too much to defend himself. It was unfortunate he'd kissed his son, but it was in the past.

The kid had graduated from high school a year early, and he seemed more mature than Mickey sometimes. It was time for Mickey to put the bad decision behind him because he missed everyone at the Katydid.

Mickey chuckled. "Yeah, you know that's true, but you go ahead and work at the Katydid. They'll need somebody with common sense since I left. I won't be a stranger, I swear.” Mickey extended his hand for a shake. He then turned to look at Heath, his mentor since he started working at the Katydid before he moved to the Circle C.

"How ‘bout you, Heath? Can ya forgive me for puttin' a move on your son? I'm so fuckin' sorry I ever—” Heath Sachs stepped forward to pull him into a strong hug.

It took Mickey by surprise, but he was grateful. It seemed there were no hard feelings. "I'm sorry I didn't come ‘round sooner, but I guess I needed to cool off. Patsy and I needed to think things through after Ethan told us about himself.

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