Before I changed my mind, I hit the answer button. “Peter here.”

“Peter!” Marissa sounded giddy. “Why did you cancel the retreat committee meeting this morning?”

Who had called her? I gritted my teeth. “I had something come up. We’re rescheduled for tomorrow.”

“That’s too late,” Marissa said.

I hated lying, even if I was just hiding the truth from her, but if I told Marissa what was going on, she would contact someone about it. I could tell her it was literally life and death, but she still wouldn’t be able to keep a secret. The fact that she was basically high meant what little self-control she had in these matters would be absent.

“Marissa.” I used my calm voice. “You made sure everything was ready to go last week. This is simply follow-up. It can wait aday.”

“What if there’s a problem?” she asked.

“There will inevitably be issues,” I acknowledged. “I’m prepared.”

Silence hung in the air for a few heartbeats before Marissa said, “I’m so sorry I’m not going to be there for you.”

“Jessica has agreed to assist me.”

“With what?” I didn’t miss the angry edge in Marissa’s voice.

“Managing the retreat.”

“She’s not qualified for that,” Marissa said quickly. “You need me there.”

Hadn’t we talked about this? “You can’t be there.”

“Of course I can.”

Did her parents know she was on the phone? Would Marissa even remember this conversation later? “You’re in the hospital.”

Marissa sounded irritated. “We have video chat and Wi-Fi. If someone has a phone, I can be there.” She went on before I could reply. “Jessica can do it. She can carry me around.”

I shook my head. “What are you talking about, Marissa?”

She giggled. “Maybe we’ll have her put the phone in front of her face and walk around so people see me instead. But Jessica is a big girl, and I’m not, so maybe that won’t work.”

The only explanation for this call was that Marissa was truly drugged, and she was rambling. “I think you should get some rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“It’s nice to hear you care about me.”

That same strangled feeling I’d gotten in the hospital hit me, and suddenly I needed Marissa as far away from me as possible. “I have to go. Listen to the doctors.” Before Marissa could reply, I hung up.

As I set my phone down, I noticed my hands were shaking.

***

At exactly noon, Jessica entered my office, bags of food in tow, along with plates and silverware from the company break room. She’d talked to the delivery guy for a few seconds, getting a laugh out of him, which she returned. I wondered what joke they’d shared and longed to have something to share with Jessica as well.

Stop.

I couldn’t allow my feelings to get out of control. This was business. This was for work. I would keep it professional.

Marissa had thrown me off my groove, and with back-to-back meetings until a moment ago, I still hadn’t recovered. I should take this hour to get my feet under me, but Jessica and I needed to get going on the retreat.