Page 102 of The Guy Who Fake Dated Me

Not to mention the wrinkles in my sweats and the fact that the bows on my shoelaces weren’t the same shape.

I had to close my eyes and ignore my surroundings.

Logan’s list, which I’d somehow memorized after only reading it once, materialized in my mind. I wanted to record my laugh and ask people if it was annoying. I wanted to determine whether I fished for compliments. I made a mental note to look up some dumb jokes later so I could be funny for Logan.

Many of the items I could fix about myself, but loving animals might never be me. Would that keep Logan from staying in a relationship with me? And had our silly, whispered conversations about the people and things happening around us been gossip?

Clearly, I wasn’t handling stress well, so it turned out I had a lot to work on.

As soon as I got into my apartment, I started to clean and straighten everything. The space really did need it, but the baseboards didn’t require the scrubbing I gave them. When I’d satisfied the urges enough so I could sit on the couch, I flipped through my contacts, found the therapist I’d used before, called her, and took her next available appointment, which was in four days.

Four days feeling like this?

Sweat broke out on my forehead as I thought about the state of my bathroom.

I might not last that long.

One thing I did know is that I didn’t want Logan to see me like this. I needed to get things under control before we met again.

If I saw him before I was ready, I’d be distant and sullen, just like I had been this morning. He didn’t deserve that.

Could I get to where I wanted to be emotionally in three weeks, or would I have to postpone our first reunion? The mere thought of committing to see him before I felt like myself again made my chest tighten. As did the weight of his list. Not only was I battling my own desires to be perfect, but I had his expectations to deal with.

How was I going to tell him we couldn’t get together until I reined this in? Could I even share what this was with him? If I did, would he need me to explain every little thing, revealing my weakness and possibly pushing him away, or could he trust me?

If it was him suddenly saying he needed a month or two before we could reunite, how would I feel?

Like the world had come crashing down.

My eyes snapped to my work desk. Programming was something that could be perfected. It took a whole lot of effort to get the code there, but I could immerse myself in that while I waited to see the therapist and to talk to Logan.

Chapter 28

-Logan-

Victoria had been less responsive than normal to my texts. I’d sent a handful from California, then again in Seattle. She’d replied with few words and even fewer emojis. That girl lived on emojis.

An unsettled feeling nestled in my gut, and I rubbed my face as the plane landed in Anchorage.

I’d taken advantage of the time in the air and had found two and a half days where I could slip away from the Moose. If Victoria would be willing to come to Juneau, then we could see each other in a mere eleven days.

Even that sounded like a long time, but it was better than the three weeks we’d been looking at before I’d dug into my schedule.

I still had a puddle jumper and a bus to board and then a ferry ride ahead of me. I needed to get a few answers from Vincent and Shane before I could present my plan to Victoria.

It would be a whirlwind trip, but it cut travel time down for both of us if we met in the middle, and I knew she’d love Juneau.

As soon as the plane door opened, I called Vincent.

“Hey, Boss. Everything okay? Aren’t you supposed to be traveling?”

“I just landed in Anchorage.”

“Is there a problem?” He sounded concerned.

“No, nothing like that. I actually need a favor from you.” I felt the grin tugging my lips at the thought of Victoria and internally laughed when a couple of older women, who were likely on their way home from a cruise, smiled as if I’d made their day.

“Lay it on me, Boss.”

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