Page 160 of Ruthless Kings of Havoc

I want to argue, but she shakes her head and gives me a look that forces me to hold my tongue.

“You stopped making me lunches. Stopped hiding in the corners and shadows, ensuring I was okay. You’re doing everything to keep me safe, but your Ruthless Leader has some of the top security around him 24/7, allowing him to hold my hand, hug, and kiss me without the possibility of getting shot at. The only times he let anyone do anything was to prove a point, like in the courtyard when he allowed me to protect him when I’m sure he had at least five snipers in different locations ready to kill the fucker before he could make a sound.”

I can’t hide my shock because she’s right about the number of snipers that were hidden that day.

Meaning she’s observant enough to know what’s happening around her? Does that mean she knows what I’ve been doing all this for a while?

“Which tells me Matteo probably offers you the chance to pick one or the other. To be a Ruthless King or to continue your role as a bodyguard,” she assumes, only to let out a weak laugh. “Why the fuck would juggle both when you don’t love me?”

“Verena…” I want to fight for her. Fuck. I wish my brain would fucking comprehend what she wants me to say, so this doesn’t go down the route I think it is, but I can’t think straight. “Listen… it’s not that easy to explain.”

“I don’t need you to explain a thing, Aries,” she concludes, and I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach, knowing well she’s giving up on me.At the mere idea of us.“Actions speak louder than words. I’m starting to realize why the saying is used so many fucking times.”

She quickly wipes away her tears, even though more are falling effortlessly.

“You hate being a Ruthless King for me. Hate being on this campus, having to protect me day and night. You don’t sleep. At least, the few hours you do sleep, you’re probably restless and annoyed that this is the pattern you have to keep up for months ahead. This lifestyle of school doesn’t intrigue you because there’s no winning purpose. There’s no validating end game. You’re serving because you have to, not to win the same prize that your other Kings see in the distance.”

“Same prize…” I whisper and watch as she smiles and points to her lips.

“Me, Aries. I’m the fucking prize. The next Ruthless Queen will reach the end of all this and show you how valuable I am because clearly, you don’t see what Zander sees. Or Matteo. Or even Ares, your younger brother. They’re showing me tidbits of themselves while discovering themselves along the way, but all you’ve done is go backward. Closing yourself off not to protect me from the enemies you’ve gathered from the past.”

Not to protect her?

“You’re protecting yourself,” she finishes. “Shielding your heart that’s already shattered, broken, and clearly hasn’t been glued back together again.” She smiles, yet it’s so sad.

Filled with defeat.

“That’s what I wanted to help fix. Help heal whatever void was eating you out and leaving you transfixed on what was repeatable. What you could do again and again without anyone noticing how much you’re hurting,” she reveals. “But I don’t think that’s a role I can handle because I’m not the right replacement for Iris.”

“You’re not a replacement! No one can replace?—”

“There,” she cuts me off before I can find the right words. “You’re right. No one can replace what Iris has already planted in your heart, Aries. That’s exactly why you have to find a woman… a Ruthless Maiden who can mend to those planted roots until they can sprout, grow, and mend your brokenness so you finally feel whole again.”

I absorb her words, realizing that despite how hard it is to accept it, she’s right.

All she’s said is nothing but the truth…

“That just can’t be me,” she concludes and smiles. “Don’t ever kiss me again.”

She gathers her things and takes her time to the door.

This is my only chance to fight for her. To stop her from leaving this classroom and correct my wrongs.

My mouth is open, ready to say something—anything—but nothing comes out.

No words leave my parted lips…

The sound of a sliding door follows with a gasp.

“A-Ares?”

I feel myself grow rigid at my younger brother’s name, but I don’t turn around. I just stand in my place, my head down, realizing what a fool I’d been to fall for something like this.

“Why are you crying?” Ares demands, and I can sense the defensiveness in his voice.

“Ah… I had a nightmare,” Verena lies and tries to laugh it off. “I just woke up from a nap from it. I get those a lot. I remember a doctor saying it’s frequent in those who get seizures a lot.” She pauses and adds, “I was trying to leave so Warren wouldn’t see. He hates seeing me cry.”

Lies.

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