Page 79 of Ruthless Kings of Havoc

“In the beginning, I did it because Domino encouraged it. Emphasized it. I felt like his right-hand man, and I wanted to do everything to please him. If it meant being rude to my own. Being venomous to the woman who was said to be our Maiden, so be it. But when Matteo came into the picture, I started to see the difference between a boy running an Empire and a man.”

I keep my silence because I want to listen to his train of thought.

“All the signs. The actions. Down to the records, Matteo’s been ensuring you’ve been taken care of since the incident that almost paralyzed you. It’s as though fate decided to bring you back together. A full-circle moment to prove what happens when you instill bits of good into the world. When you protect someone you believe is worthy of such protection. That their resilience, even when innocent, can prevail and lead them to a path that will pay off the other’s intentions. I’m sure Matteo never thought you two would end up on the same stage, offering an alliance no one saw coming. Made me question… what the fuck am I doing?”

I reach up and wipe away the tears that fall. There’s this unsettling feeling of seeing a man cry. Seeing them hurt to the point all their walls come crumbling down, leaving them completely broken and vulnerable to this merciless world.

“As a child, I knew I was on the softer side. That hurting others without purpose was much harder for me. It’s why my father always leaned on Aries to do his bidding. Knew if blood needed to be spilled, Aries wouldn’t hesitate to do it. I envied that. Envied how easy it was for him to… kill. To hurt. To inflictpain on those most deserving of their ends. It’s what made me want to be like him. To prove to him, my father, and our Empire that I could be just as deserving of our foundation as he. That’s why being with Domino and signing that contract to strive toward becoming a Ruthless King was so easy. It was an effortless decision because it would make the person I’ve been craving to show the world. I could play pretend, be the Ruthless King on the surface, and that would be the end of it…”

He tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“But maybe that is what’s finally eating me up. Having to continue to pretend that this is what I want. That my purpose is to hurt you and act like my life doesn’t revolve around this structured society that’s willing to cast you away the moment you’ve lost your importance.” I can see how it’s eating him up. “To see Domino in the crowd. The fury and rage I’ve seen plenty of times but then directed at me. The target of his agony. It made me realize I was a pawn he could have tossed any time he wanted. That his loyalty was a façade of lies and mistrust. I pledged my loyalty to someone who was going to ruin my entire life by marrying me off to someone because it would ensure he didn’t have to. I’ve been such a blind fool, it’s laughable. It’s exactly what my family warned me about. How my soft exterior and naive viewpoint of the world would lead me down a path I wouldn’t get out of.”

He shakes his head from side to side violently, as though he can’t imagine such a future.

“If you hadn’t become our Ruthless Maiden, Sweet Canary… if-if the chess pieces didn’t move just right, my future would have been ruined. All because I wanted to be seen by the world as a ruthless villain. A man with no heart, even to the woman chosen to appease his needs.” He laughs then, and how eerie it is. “It’s so fucked up, yet this is only the beginning… which is why I’m debating how the fuck am I going to do this? How will Iwalk onto those school grounds tomorrow, confidently knowing I have to… hurt you? Or one of my own? I don’t fucking know.”

“Has Matteo said you have to hurt me?” I decided to ask instead.

“No. In fact… he fucking set that maid up to be humiliated and killed before us, Mr. Leighton, Mr. Prescott, and Saint Joaquin, FOR hurting you years ago. For allowing Domino to bully you. He has a fucking list of everyone who dared bully you back then with the intention of ridding of them.”

Damn. That’s… surprisingly hot.

“So, it feels weird, doesn’t it?” I offer, trying my best to understand him. “To go from a leader who made it their mission to hurt anyone he deemed weak and unworthy to one who’s willing to get revenge for those who couldn’t defend themselves.”

“Frightening,” he admits and stares into my eyes. “Because that’s a man who will seek the enemies who carry fake smiles and wish for your downfall. Those people will go to any length to make you untouchable, to the point one wouldn’t even think of messing with you. That’s a level of strategic power only a mastermind can come up with, and the reality is that Matteo started that when he was a young adult. At similar ages as us, if not younger. He’s now a perfectionist at it. So cunning, no one realizes it until it’s happening before our eyes.”

He takes a steady breath, blinking away his remaining tears.

“I was sickened by it in the beginning. Maddened by why his ways were so fucking different from Domino’s, but after seeing the way everyone humbled and praised Matteo on the stage with us next to him, the immense intrigue and hints of fear that ignite with his mere presence and that wasn’t created by hurting you or anyone around him… it made me realize I’d been a fool all along. That I allowed myself to be a part of immoral shit just for favor and praise from a man who’d never be happy with me. I acceptedchanging my whole self for another’s satisfaction… and maybe that’s why Aries sometimes hates me. Because unlike him, who doesn’t hide who he is and carries his sins on his sleeve, I’m just a coward who lost his way.”

“Ares…”

“I don’t want to be this version of myself anymore,” he vows. “When… we watched our sanctuary burn, I told myself that ‘me’ was burning with it. That this part of me that was dying inside, playing a part like a leading actor, was finally set to flames and turned into ash that could be free to flutter away into nothingness. It wouldn’t erase what I’ve done, but it could give me a new beginning. I want to be the real me. To be allowed to wreak havoc on those most deserving of our wrath, but…”

He presses his palms to my cheeks.

“I dislike hurting you. Seeing you bleeding... bruised… lying there, fighting for life itself. I can’t be a bully like Domino… and I’m willing to accept that’s okay. Even if it makes me weak.”

“You’re not weak, Ares.” I mean those words. “No weak man would have the courage to acknowledge what you just have and strive to change the identity that others have sought for you. It’s courageous… powerful… and I think what’s most frightening of it all is that I’m sure people like Domino wish they could do what you’re about to accomplish.”

“You think so?” He looks in disbelief at the idea.

“Ask Matteo,” I suggest, feeling as though my approval wouldn’t be as impactful. He needs a man in the leadership role to give him that answer. “He knows the little brother that hides in the shadows of his father’s paradise. I’m sure he can tell you the ultimate truth when it comes to Domino.” I reach up to press my hands on his cheeks, though it barely reaches.

“But between you and me, as your Ruthless Maiden, you’re the strongest Ruthless King.”

He chuckles. “Now you’re bullshitting, Ruthless Queen,” he corrects my title.

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Your strength has always shone, Ares, but now you’re finally allowing yourself to see just how powerful you can become by being true to yourself. That’s something most wish to achieve in a lifetime. I wholeheartedly believe that.” I give him a seductive smirk. “And I’m still your Maiden.”

“Nah,” he repeats my chosen word of dismay. “You’ve always been a Queen in my eyes, Sweet Canary. Only now… I’m beginning to realize you may be exactly what we need to make it to the end of our reign.”

His lips descend upon mine, and the intimacy feels far rawer and more sensational than previously. Maybe it’s us finally having a conversation that holds no need for ‘saving face.’ Where we allow ourselves to be truthful with one another, like true couples who seek more than just a sexual connection.

Especially after I almost perished from Domino’s desire for my end, I guess this is a form of reconciliation I need with Ares to move forward.

Seeing this side of Ares opens a new door in my heart. One that I knew I craved from Zander but hadn’t realized I could experience with another Ruthless King.

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