Page 65 of Stables

Silly me. Wanting something I can’t have should be the penance I pay for the stupid decisions I’ve made in my life.

It’s why Dixon’s even here, because of those awful choices.

I’m the only one to blame. I just hate feeling this…empty.

Waking up early, I’m determined to show him how much I really do appreciate him. I know he doesn’t like coffee as much, so I’ll make him one of my favorite blends of tea to take with him to work.

As quietly as I can, I leave Paisley on my bed, my socks are silent on the old wooden floor skirting past the living room.

He’s magnificent with his bare chest and thick arm propped behind his head. There’s even space next to him on the worn cushion. I’m tempted to snuggle against him and bury my head into his shoulder like Paisley did last night.

Except my intentions aren’t quite as pure as hers.

No, he’s had his chances. If he was really interested, he’d have made some sort of move on me by now.

Wouldn’t he?

Am I that awful? Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt me.

I’m ready, though. I’m so tired of being numb.

His long, even breaths are calming. I feel my heart beat slow to match his.

He sets the rhythm for my morning.

Steady. Sure.

In.

Then out.

Filling the pot with water.

Measuring out the herbs.

Two cups.

Catch the kettle before it whistles.

Pour.

His. Mine.

“Good morning.” His hoarse whisper should have startled me.

But it fits with the cadence of the dawn. Like he’s reset my clock.

“Hi.” I let my gaze wander over his dark messy hair, then the curly path that begins on his chest and leads down to the button of his jeans resting below his belly button.

I miss the boxer-briefs. They put on a better show.

“You’re up early.” He grabs the back of one of the seats by the table and flips it out. Sitting, he props one bare foot on the bottom rail of Paisley’s high chair.

He’s so casual, like he’sat home.

I just wish he was that comfortable with me.

“I felt bad you left without any breakfast yesterday, or even a drink.” Balancing one of the hot cups on a saucer, I bring it over and slide it onto the placemat next to him.

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