Page 267 of The Grand Duel

She continues to speak, but I tune her out, glancing over to Lissie. Her eyes flash to mine, holding for no more than two seconds before she focuses back on Lucy.

“The entry is the star of the show, though. It’s like a fairy tale.”

“Fit for a princess.” Elliot winks at his wife.

Lissie smiles, looking down at her barely touched plate of food.

“Where’s my fairy tale castle, Mase?” Nina says, teasing.

“You want a castle, baby?” Mason throws back, letting Ellis down when he slides from his lap.

He walks to Lissie’s side, tapping her arm, the conversation continuing around the table.

She twists, looking down at him with a full smile.

When he looks towards her stomach, my heart sinks. “Where’s your baby?”

Her face fractures.

“Ellis!” Nina snaps.

“My baby?” Lissie asks, her voice almost a whisper as she looks down at the little boy.

“Uncle Elliot told Nanny Frey.” He looks towards Elliot and then at me. “Uncle Charlie is having a baby.”

“Oh, no, Ellis,” Nina explains at the same time Mason says, “Ellis, come and sit down. Now.” He pushes back his chair and rounds the table, picking up his son. “Sorry, Lissie.”

“It’s okay,” Lissie tells them. “It’s…” She stalls, the table quiet and waiting for her to finish.

They’re waiting for her to finish, but she can’t.

“I’m going to get that crumble,” Scarlet says, standing. “Where can I find the dessert bowls, Lissie?”

She blinks her eyes closed momentarily and then opens them, pushing back her own chair.

I follow the two women from the room.

“Lis,” I say, catching up to her.

Scarlet walks into the kitchen and goes straight to the cupboard where we keep the bowls.

“Baby—”

She turns and shakes her head at me. “Not now.” Her eyes are wide, forced open to put a stop to what lingers behind them. “Not now, Charlie.”

I run my hands through my hair, watching as she carries on, taking the cream out of the fridge and then picking up the stack of bowls. Scarlet walks past me with the crumble, and I wait, hoping Lissie will at least look at me as she passes. That she’ll give me something. Any indication of what she needs.

She gives me nothing.

We sit back down at the table, the conversation flowing between our guests as they eat and drink.

I watch Lissie the entire time, wondering how long the shine in her eyes will stay there before a tear leaks free. Wondering if she’ll simply wipe it away and carry on like she always does.

Wondering if being selfish is fair anymore.

Wondering if tomorrow will be as impossible as I think it will be.

She sits at the table until everyone’s bowls are empty, quietly excusing herself and taking all she can carry from the room.

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