Page 72 of When Day Breaks

"Come on," I direct them, waiting at the door for them to make their exit with me. "I know how to cure my wife."

25

echoes of evocations

Lucynda

I have never feared my own shadow before. I've never really gotten well acquainted with it before. All I know is that it follows me around in the height of the sun and sleeps at night. I never let my shadow out to play and I simply let it leave a mark behind me, often remembering that it's there but never really giving it any more attention than that.

But what happens when your shadow hungers for separation? When it strips itself of the humanity it clings to and forces itself into a soul to feed from?

Are you afraid now?

When we lock away our traumas and stuff them in the corners of our minds, I'm convinced they seep into the blackness of our shadows. They follow us around and remind us that wherever we go, all of our deepest and darkest torments are threatening to slip between the threads we've tied to keep them out, bursting at the seams. It's inevitable. And all it takes for them to maketheir final move and twist into a deadly reality is a single taste of freedom. Or the permission to be let go.

I was dumb enough to give them both.

I don't feel fear in the realization that my dark, distant friend has released all of my harbored trauma. Even I know everyone is allowed a slight moment of indulgence when it comes to justifiable purging. But my fear comes from the idea that I might enjoy myself too much as the sinister ruler who lets out all of her darkness on souls who don't deserve the torment all at the expense of releasing pain caused by others.

I don't want to slip into that place forever. I never wanted to slip into that place at all. But I'm here and I am fighting for my life as my body is trespassed by my shadow and she is reveling in the bloodshed. I feel the weakness in my bones, the ache behind my eyes and the slowness of my heart.

I have been in and out of whatever spell I am tortured with, feeling the total takeover of my lavender curse. The shattered pieces of my heart are disintegrating, my soul is being sucked into the inescapable blackhole, and my life is slowly slipping away…

Lavender Cyn

Lucynda.

Echoes of voices ring in my ears.

Lucynda, wake up.

The annoying cries are trying to stir me in my sleep.

"Lucynda…"

The voices now sound more tangible as I groan, hating that I'm being bothered.

I lift my heavy head and attempt to blink my eyes open.

"She's waking," I hear someone say and the sound of whoever's electrified tone gives me even more of a headache than I seem to have already.That would be my sister,I conclude.

"Lucynda?" Another voice enters as I open my eyes to a cloudy vision of three silhouettes standing before me.

I feel the roughness of the textured concrete create a surprisingly enjoyable sensation against my tired body and I miss the way it feels as I begin to lift myself up.

Rivian is who I see first. He's crouched down with his worried eyes focused on me, waiting for me to speak. The twins stand in waiting behind him and suddenly, my mood is ruined.

"What are you doing here?" I snap, pushing myself up to a sitting position.

I hear Travois scoff as he turns and walks away. A look of annoyance caresses his face as Troian just looks at me like I'm a worthless bag of flesh and bones.

"Rivian has a cure," she snips but she doesn't fool me with her feigned attitude. I can tell she's just as worried as Rivian is.

A cure.

Interesting. Before, the mention of a cure had intrigued me. I didn't necessarily know I had been diseased to begin with, but I would have appreciated the elimination of my affliction. But now, my consciousness is too far gone to have any kind of temptation to receive a cure.

"Good for you," I say. Not caring that my tone is snappy or that my demeanor holds no exhilaration for what they offer.

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