Page 47 of When Day Breaks

"Oh, I'm sorry." I put up my hands in mock surrender. "Did you think I wouldn't say anything about your extracurricular activities? My mistake."

"I knew I couldn't trust you." He seethes, nearly spitting at me and attempting to push against the hold Troy tightened on him.

I notice a look of surprise on her face, and maybe even disgust. They had no clue which means he really did trust me to keep his secret. But I don't do well with voiceless promises. If he wanted me to keep quiet about it, he should have asked me.

"Oh, you can trust me," I fire back as I wave my hands about. "You can trust that I'm not going to be used in whatever game it is you have with my husband or anyone else for that matter.You can trust that I'm not going to be a stepping stone in any of this mess that, mind you, I did not ask to be a part of." I feel my husband's eyes on me, but I can't look. I don't want to know what his eyes show. I don't want to know what he's feeling.

I didn't ask to be a part of this. But I agreed to do it anyway. I didn't know what I was signing up for. But I did it for me. I'm not letting that go so easily. These people will have to learn to accept me and we will have to figure out how to get everything back in order. I won't go down like this, cursed and fighting with people who happen to be family and a ruined marriage because his priorities weren't straight. I know that's not what I signed up for.

"Well, welcome to the family reunion, little sister." Trav's sinister remark almost makes me laugh, or maybe scares me. But I won't be pushed away so easily. I am his queen before I am his sister. I don't even know anything about him or Troy more than I know their names and that they are vampires.

If anyone is getting respect from me, it's Troy. She's at least decent and I screwed her over pretty badly. Which reminds me . . . how is she even alive? In all of this, I didn't even truly process that I didn't actually kill her, which is a relief, but I'm going to need to know how that works if I plan to rule this kingdom.

"Bite me," I snap back at Trav and I can practically hear the praise in Rivian's grin beside me.

"Wait, Travois, what is Lucynda talking about?" I watch as Troian looks her brother dead in the eye, but he doesn't waver. He keeps his eyes on me and only me. I feel too much, like the walls are closing in. He's trying to overpower me but I won't let him succeed. If we're so much alike as he claims, then he will learn that I don't roll over so easily.

But then he changes. His anger and rage morphs into a more entertained persona as he pulls himself out of Troy's vicinity andoff the wall, adjusting his leather jacket and smoothing back his hair with his gloved hand.

"Well, siblings," he starts in a rather sarcastic but playful tone. "As I so proclaimed to my dear sister here, we are all creatures of nocturnal desires…" he trails off as he takes a step forward and I roll my eyes. I don't know if his overly descriptive and cryptic nonsense is a tactic of his or not, but I won't subject myself to the frivolous yapping once more.

"Not this again." I throw my hands up slightly as if to gesture that I've given up. No one in this damn room can be straight forward and honestly, if they don't need my help then I have to figure out what I can do because I don't want to waste any more time while mine is ticking.

I turn my back to him as he continues, knowing the other two are focused on what he has to say.

Rivian's eyes bleed with questions, likely not knowing what his brother is talking about either. But I see the curiosity there. I had it too when Trav came to me and started spewing his make believe assumptions. But I won't lie, I did feel exposed at his words likely meaning that there was some truth to his analysis. But could he possibly do us all a favor to simplify his words so as not to bore the whole word?

Troian just stands back and watches Trav's movements while Rivian listens to all the same shit he fed me in the dungeon. But I'm so over it, to the point that I can't stand it a moment longer.

"Oh, I can't listen to any more of this supernatural, spiritual garbage," I say as I start to walk toward the exit, but I'm stopped.

"Not so fast,Cinderella." Troy finds herself rather quickly at my side, gripping the top of my arm as she looks me in my eyes.

She has our mother's eyes. Not the color; no, I have the color of them. But the shape. And her hair. It's the first time I'm really noticing just how much they look alike. It's haunting. When I first saw my mother in the dungeon—obviously not aware of whoshe was at first—I knew there was something familiar about her. Maybe it's what I saw when I looked at Troian all those times. Or maybe I saw myself in both of them. It was the first time I really felt the need for family in a really long time. I always wanted love but family . . . I was never really hopeful I'd get that back. I was tainted with hatred and I couldn't allow myself anything other than rage at that moment.

And here we are. As much as I want to mend whatever I can, I also know I need to stand my ground. I'm not going to let these people dictate me.

"Excuse me?" I yank my arm free from Troy's grip, though she didn't put up much of a fight like I'd hoped. "I am still your queen." My whisper is only meant for her, but I know the others hear it as Trav chuckles and Rivian watches on.

"Didn't you hear our brother? We're fancying ourselves a little family reunion," she remarks sarcastically. "Besides, if we're all dishing out our grievances, I'd say that you and I…" she steps up to me and lowers her tone, a husky timbre dripping from her lips as she finishes her statement. "We deserve a little . . .Heart to heart."

I wince at her words; the symbolism in them haunting. She's got me there. I do owe her some kind of explanation or even maybe an apology. But Travois starts back up, breaking the tension between us.

"All I'm saying is that Lucy and I revel in our darkness. You simply avoid it because you're scared of what it will do to you when it overcomes you, because seeing as the subject of your deepest desiresisyour darkness, it's inevitable that you'd have to face it head on, sooner or later."

"Are you high?" Troy looks behind me to speak to Travois who—when I turn around to face him—is grinning like a madman.

"Troy," Rivian warns her.

"Sorry, but he's talking like some spiritual guide has taken over his body." She puts up her hands in defense.

"What the fuck are you insinuating here, brother? And be very selective with your words." My husband's warning doesn't do much to scare off Travois but it does send a chill down my spine.

I am finding more and more that I love the danger in him. The way he really would fight my battles for me if I wanted. It makes me feel secure in a world that I know now isn't all that safe.

"I'm saying, our dear sister here…" He points to me. "Her darkness is the abuse she endured and the idea of revenge that is undeniably attached to that, am I right sis? And her weakness, because remember, same game, different player, is love. All she craves most in this world is love but for some unexplainable reason," he turns to look at Rivian, "she keeps getting denied access to that part of her heart. You see, he relishes in a world where love is unattainable, a ruinous idea in fact. Love does not exist in Rivian's world because love only sets out to destroy. That is his darkness. That's what he's afraid of." I massage my temples, somewhat a performative action to demonstrate my annoyance with all of this talk.

He might have accurately nailed everything on the head, he might be totally off his rocker, or maybe I'm just not used to people talking so much in general, let alone with ideas and analytics on the people around them, but I am tired. Though I can't deny, Travois is extremely clever and wise. And passionate. He's lost in his own head, just like I was—maybe still am—and he projects that in his words.

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