Page 45 of When Day Breaks

"I haven't been the best brother to you," I start looking between my siblings when I know the coast is clear, listening to any further breathing or footsteps in the distance and coming up silent. "Both of you."

"Save me the sentiment." Travois sits back in his seat to showcase his lack of care for my words.

"Don't be so full of yourself." Troian glares at him before wagging her finger between the two of us. "What's the problem between you two anyways? You're both always trying to see who has the bigger dick."

"Troian," I scold as I hear a near-silent giggle leave my wife's throat.

Troy grins in satisfaction for a beat before turning her attention back to her question.

"He's envious," I peg Trav with my stern eyes, offering up a pathetic excuse to hopefully get something out of him.

"Envious? Of what, pray tell? Your pathetic excuse of a life?" He chuckles. "Don't flatter yourself." He stands from his chair and I think he might want to leave, but he's not getting away from this conversation so quickly. He too has lots of explaining to do.

"Then what?" I stand as well, facing him as he walks toward where Troy sits on the side of the table.

I can feel my wife's eyes on me as I stand next to her, and Troy bleeds with glee for the entertainment, sitting back in her chair as if the only thing missing is her popcorn.

"Well, brother. I’m not sure you really want to feud in front of your delicate wife, now do you?" I have to hold back my rage. His utter disregard for any respect for Lucynda doesn't take much time to fester into my anger toward him, causing me to see red fairly quickly.

But I won't back down. All or nothing.

"On second thought, please do show her what kind of brother she can expect to gain after all this time." I hate that I decide to sink as low as him, using Lucynda as a topic of comeback but it's never been fair or clean with Trav. And I just, just like Troian, would like to know what his fucking problem is.

"Well, then . . . since you insist." He prepares himself for a verbal battle, stepping up toe to toe, not spatially aware of the way we now nearly box Cyn in against the table as we both stand near her.

"It's you," he seethes through a low, growly whisper that is louder than I'm sure he intended. "It's justyou." Then he steps back and starts his performative show, waving his hands around like this is an attraction and are all welcome to see. "You used to drag your feet around in a pity-me parade day in and day out, getting all the attention from dearest father while Troy and I were left to the maids." A sinister laugh leaves his throat and even more anger boils in me. He's mocking me, insinuating the situation based on baseless accusations that are caused from his feelings of loneliness.

But who was truly the loner of the three of us?

"You are delusional," I accuse with my hands in my pockets. I can feel the shift below me as Cyn turns her head to watch thetwo of us, Trav now a few feet back as I still stand close to the table.

"Father spent every moment with you when he wasn't sticking his dick into something shiny and new."

"Travois…" Troian warns.

Troy never really had the best experiences with our father in my opinion. He could have done better with her. But if anyone were to take his side, it would be her. She actually cried at his funeral while the rest of us barely even wanted to show up.

"It's the truth, T. Father was not faithful to a single woman, that's why our mother left him." Trav's tone is almost pleading, like he's begging anyone to see the truth behind his words but it might be important to point out that there's a big possibility that the three of us all had different experiences when it came to the prior king.

I think over what he said and try to fit it into what Ameliana had said to me a few nights ago.

"Rivian, I regret leaving the twins behind, I really do, but I didn't want this life. I left the first time because I was scared. If I could have taken them, I would have. But I didn’t have the means to take care of them. Then he ripped me from the life I tried to make up for and forced me into this marriage again. I left the second time because he enacted punishment on me for escaping the first time. That, and I fell in love."

My father once told me that my new stepmother hated that I looked like my mother. I thought that maybe Ameliana was jealous of me or something. I didn't understand as a kid. But maybe my father lied to justify his actions. Because as I got a little older, he made it known that my "conditioning" was to make sure I was ready for this life, for the role of king. Maybe he thought that since my mother had to have her Royal blood extracted, that it would weaken my blood. Or maybe he was really just vindictive and cruel.

Whatever the case, replaying Amy's words that night, her telling me that she left because she was punished for running the first time . . . it might have some truth. My father was evil. But I don't know why Trav would make up this excuse as well. Maybe she really did fall in love. Maybe it was her only way out.

I focus back on the conversation. "So you're mad at me because our father cheated on your mother? Get a grip. Our realities are more alike than you chose to think then." I guess he didn't realize what I'd gone through when I saw our father and their mother together for the first time while my mother tried desperately to hold back the tears.

They were just babies when she was taken from me, they'll never know my pain.

"My reality is that Iwantedto be king. You could have cared less, yet you were the one given the time and the lessons and the-"

"Thattimeand thoselessonsconsisted of daggers being thrown into my rib cage…" I throw Trav up against the wall, my hand encompassing his throat. The girls gasp at the force of our bodies slamming up against the wall, but I continue, "Cigarette burns, and belt lashes. Thattimewas spent starving in a chair, tied up for days on end because for some reason, ever since he cheated onmymother withyours, I was subjected to the cruelty of being treated like some kind of caged animal, only worse. All at the expense of the supposed preparation to run this wretched kingdom. So that attention you craved, I wasn't getting it either Travois." I make him eat his fucking words as I let go of my grip on him and take a step back.

He doesn't falter or move, not even an inch, but I see the slight dreaded look of realization touch his eyes. I know he knew of at least one time I'd been locked in the basement, but I'm sure he didn't realize to the extent of it. Or maybe he did and doesn't care. But like the rest of us, we all have an exterior shell to fallback on, a hiding place we go while we feign any kind of emotion for shit we don't understand.

"I would have happily accepted my fate. That’s what kings do." He takes a step away from the wall and dusts off his jeans. "I would have traded my place for yours, because we all have our place in this world and unlike you, I would have been grateful for what was handed me and I know I could do a better job than you."

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