Page 1 of When Day Breaks

1

the smell of smoke

Rivian

October 24th

There's blood everywhere. The smell is so pungent that it creates a hunger so undeniably strong within me. The thirst and anger that courses through my veins mix in an agonizingly slow parade, crashing against my reserve and screaming into the void of my mind. I can't believe what just happened, and I can only blame myself.

The stake is buried deep into my chest, splinters breaking off as I try to yank it from my hollowed organ, desperately beating as to keep life vibrant inside of me. But seeing as the subject of my selfishly sought out retribution is mere seconds away from igniting in flames, my mission is nearly accomplished, and Iteeter the edge of saving myself or letting it all burn to the fucking ground.

I was always going to seek my own demise, ridding myself of the pain I've had to suffer through, allowing myself the release of the shadows that buried me six feet under. It was always the plan to fall with my vitriol. I never wanted this life. Ihatedthis life.

Being born in blood, seeing the hate in my father's eyes for the choices he made—me included—and knowing that I am truly a monster is not something I wanted. I didn’t want to lead a society of equally menacing monsters and I didn’t want to hide myself from the possibility of finding love. Those were all choices taken from me and I was forced to live this life of burden.

I was unsure of it all at first, turning at eighteen seemed scary and I resented it even more because of the abuse that I was forced to endure—strength and conditioningas my father would call it—and knowing that the only person I loved was taken from me when I needed her the most is what made me hate what I've had to become.

But this is who I am. Thisismy life, and I have learned to relish in the villain that soon begged to be unleashed. In fact, the older I got the more I craved it. I devoured the feeling that came with wielding the power I held because it meant I was in control.

Until her.

Now, as my life tempts the line of obliteration—my exact plan near moments away from crossing the finish line the way I had only hoped—I can't help but feel the need to fight through the fire that burns at my sister's feet; her heart littered on the cemented ground. Something eats at me. Telling me to follow Lucynda if only to explain and understand. Or at least to eliminate the threat she now causes. It wasn't supposed to end this way, and it's all because I lost control.

I know I can save Troian; I suppose Lucynda didn't know that killing a Royal wasn't as simple as ripping one's heart out. If mysister's body gets caught in the fire though, then she really will be gone forever. She didn't deserve my betrayal.

Though, in all honesty, despite my love for my little sister, it's not her I feel the need to save.

It's my wife.

The lavender reaper has taken over and her humanity is being torn to shreds because of something I created. Something I promised her and something she soon sought after. I knew this marriage would end in ruin. I knew my love for this one girl would turn my world upside down, literally to burn in the flames of her storm. It's why I tried to force myself the distance and to urge myself not to give in to the way my heart beats for hers. I tried to deny it, I didn't want to feel the effects of our bind. Butanima vinculumor not, my soul was made to warp in the darkness of hers and I don't think I would have ever survived walking away from her. Not truly.

Despite the lies I tried to tell myself when it came to my sweetest sin, I wanted more than anything to protect her. But I failed the moment I became selfish in my decision to bring her into my life if only to use her for my scheme to avenge my mother and rid myself of the awful ache that comes with being a monster. But also just as selfishly, I wanted her close. I needed her near me, she consumed my mind. Though I knew that once she found out that Ameliana was really Amy, her mother, she would react the way she did. Hating me for the very betrayal she tried to escape from those she needed loyalty from most.

I fucked up. And it was only then when I realized that I didn't actually lose control . . . I gave it toher.

"Rivian!" Ameliana's cries finally echo over the gurgling roar of the bright orange flames that ravage around us, tearing apart the wooden beams and clinging to the concrete walls while tracing the room for purchase. "Please! We have to do something!"

The fire is close enough to engulf all three of us, cackling in mockery of the way I intended to put an end to this all. Butthiswas not what I wanted to happen. She can not survive in life if I am suffocating in death.

Ameliana is attempting to show selflessness by begging me to save her daughter. And maybe even her. Though despite the realization of just how trivial my acts might have been—anger and revenge being my driving force in focus of emotions in my vampirism—I still want to see Amy suffer. She still denied me of the life I could have lived by allowing the erasure of my mother. She denied Lucynda of being free from the monster she left her with. She abandoned her twins to free herself of the same monster she turned a blind eye to when it came to me, because I wasn't her son. She was selfish and chose herself over the love of others. I am doing this because of my love for others.

The broken off piece of wood that penetrates my heart is seconds away from desiccating me, which would leave me helpless and lifeless until the flames take over. I could end it. Still.

But that’s not what I really want now.

I lift myself off the wall and grip the stake in front of me with both hands, pulling it out slowly as the splinters of wood break off into my chest; my strength is weakened just enough to make it difficult. Squelching noises reach my ears as blood leaves my chest, dripping out around where the stake has entered and even more so as inch by inch, I remove the wooden weapon.

I groan as the last inch is nearly free, but I wince as it grazes another part of my heart, the pain shooting through to my gut and forcing me to stop. But the flames touch Troy's feet and threaten the chains her mother is tied to. I don't have time to waste, so I let the pain my wife could be enduring right now be my motivator as I yank the last of the wood out of my chest, a gaping hole takes up my skin as blood drips generously from thewound. It will heal shortly, but not fast enough for me to save my sister. So in order to help my cause, I look over to the only person worth the pain of my hunger and I rush to her without another thought.

She yelps, knowing what I need, and I rip into her neck. Chains shatter against the floor and hit at my back as Ameliana tries to fight against me. She's still weak from the wounds Lucynda caused her. Typically, vampires feeding from other vampires, especially Royals, is not ideal but in this case, it's necessary.

I feel the surge of power run through my veins as I drink from her neck, and for a second, I think to drain her dry and let the flames take over her lifeless body. But as I take more than I need, she groans in agony and forces my attention to Troy whose body is seconds away from fully igniting.

The smell of smoke causes vexation in me. Memories stirring deep in my head that I have to try and avoid if only to be able to help my sister.

The cigarette burns. The sizzle of my skin against the ashes.

Travois. The flames that touched his skin.

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