Page 126 of When Night Falls

But I have to give my brother and sister a fighting chance and I can’t do that without setting Travois free first.

I explained the detailed updates in regard to Travois and the claims Valor Cove has made. She wasn’t happy to learn that all of this had been happening while she suffered through her bloodlust. But we’ve spent the last few days working on her management and now we’re taking it day by day.

I have to admit though, I am a wrecked man. After finding my wife in utter ruin, evidence of her shadows coming to light, I knew there would be no going back. I know the denial I fight to refuse every day has surfaced and I'd forever be a prisoner to that feeling if I didn't just accept it. But I don't see the ending that I am able to have both light and dark because my darkness will swallow her whole.

I mistook her dim light for one of burnout, desperate to ignite in the form of wanting to exact payback. She just merely needed to be seen for her true worth and despite my best efforts to rid her of the trivial idea that she needed love, she still yearned for the most basic emotion any human can ask for.

I denied myself of that same feeling for so long because I've seen what rejection can do to a person, where it can lead them. The villain never gets the girl because evil and good are two contradicting roles in Society that will clash in a war of unrequited love.

When I turned, the emotion I felt greatest of all was my need for love, just like Lucynda. But I had to rewire my brain to turn that feeling off, to minimize the need to carry such hope for something so damning. Because I knew that it of all things would be my undoing, so I inculcated the idea of revenge deep within my soul to prevent an idealistic poison from ruining my life. It was easy to do so as my father nearly stripped me of all of my blood the day after I turned—needing to ensure my strength—so I focused on my one dominant emotion of hating the person who took my ability to feel love away. The person who enabled a man to be so cruel and did nothing to rectify the situation.

The former queen.

Yet, here I am knowing that in all of my efforts, I have led myself to my ultimate demise by letting the venom of that decrepit four-letter word sink its claws into me. And now, I am simply on the verge of resemblance to the dilapidated castle that will hold evidence to the downfall of our kingdom simply because love was the undoing of us all.

The events of my life have done nothing but tear me down, leaving me with nothing but the abused idealistic view of what life means to the standard soul but I am not a standard soul. I have been hollowed from the inside out, forced to believe that the nature of Nocturnes is capable of nothing but evil. And while I reveled in the nefarious acts of accepting my true self, I knew it was all in due time that I'd get my day in hell, but I'd take down the whole fucking kingdom with me.

And now, I know hell won't be so lonely.

I haven't told her or anyone else of the discovery I made about Cyn when she was bathed in the blood of her first victim. But one day she'll learn how to thrive as alavendulan messoremNocturne,but for now it's best that this remains a secret to me because the truth is, they are known to be an unfavorable kind of evil that will likely break control at one point and have the power to obliterate an entire kingdom in little to no time at all.

I also haven't admitted my change of mind in regard to the most desirable need my queen craves. I know that when I do confess my love for her, it will be as we both fall into the darkness letting death take our souls. It's the only way.

I stare out my bedroom window as night falls against the horizon. My wife is asleep on our bed, her naked body on full display for only me. It seems peaceful in this castle; the sky crawls with looming clouds, trees whistling up against the cusp of Halloween night—just a few short days away.

I hated to admit it—my pride always got in the way—but it's obvious that I too am just as broken as my muse, and I am drowning in a sea of emotions that I want to feel yet hate the idea of having the burden of all at the same time.

It's how it feels to be in love. Carved in madness and caged by pain.

A light knock raps against the door of my bedroom, pulling me from my thoughts and rearing my head to make sure my wife doesn't wake.

I walk quietly to the door to see my Factotum waiting on the other side.

"She's here." Zharus confirms what I'd been waiting for all day, indicating that my visitor has arrived.

"Have her ready in the dungeon for me. I don't care how you get her there, but she needs to be chained." I know Zharus will get the job done, I have no doubts in his ability to satisfy my requests. As he leaves, I head to the bed where my wife rests her tired eyes and I silently vow to her that all of this won't be in vain.

I kiss her scarred cheek and head for the door, knowing the next time she sees me, I'll be the villain once more.

I let the amber caress of candled lighting warm against my skin as I walk through the cemented hallways to get to the dungeon room.

"Let me go!" I hear her shouts for release echo against the emptiness surrounding, followed by the rattling of chains.

I round the corner to see my visitor. Ameliana. The ex-queen and mydear oldstep-mother.

"Rivian," she smirks in a cynical manner as she sees me enter, settling down her attempts to break the chains.

I wave my guards to their exit, leaving just the two of us.

"I heard you've been wanting to see me," she spits as she squirms in her chair.

The chains holding her down from every angle—two from the ceiling locked over her wrists and two from the ground, cuffing her at the ankles—makes sure she experiences the fear of being trapped here forever.

"I’ve always wondered when you'd come searching for me. And using my daughter to lure me out? I must say, I'm rather impressed. But the question is why?" Her demeanor can't be bothered, something I know she passed off to her daughter.

Stubbornness runs in the family.

"You will not speak of her." I let my vexation fall over me prematurely knowing that she is getting the exact response she wanted out of me. "You have no right to bring up the daughter you abandoned."

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