Page 49 of Vengeful Secret

Except, I don’t feel very in charge right now.

“Want to spar?” Kael suggests, raising an eyebrow. “I can tell you’re a little… frustrated.”

“Yes, please.” I do need an outlet, and Kael and I stand on the mats together, facing each other with our hands up.

I go for the body, and Kael twirls to avoid me. He’s faster than me despite his lanky frame. He’s probably a better fighter overall, if I’m honest with myself.

I grunt and go after him again, but he easily darts away.

“You haven’t got a hit on me, old man.” He hops backwards to avoid a jab.

“I’m barely older than you,” I mutter, and then tackle him around the waist.

He finally goes down, and I get in a few jabs before he flips me over, and I tap out.

I groan, standing up and running a hand through my hair. “I’m just not all here tonight.”

“What’s wrong?” Kael stretches out his hamstrings.

“It’s Sutton,” I admit. “She’s moved in with her daughter and… the little girl is mine.”

Kael’s eyes widen. “Really? God, I would be furious with her.”

“I am.” I huff out a breath. “I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.”

It’s difficult, opening up to Kael. I can talk this freely with Declan, but, though we are friends, I was never this close with Kael, even if he is about to become my brother-in-law.

I guess seeing Sutton again has opened up a can of worms that I don’t know if I can close.

“What’s her excuse?”

“That I was wild back then, and she felt I couldn’t protect them. I would be a liability. Put them at risk.”

Now that I have cooled off, I can see her point. I thought I had something to prove back then, and I used to flaunt my lifestyle a lot more than I do now.

In fact, if Da hadn’t had some Irish cops in his pocket, I would have been arrested several times.

But I thought that was what Sutton liked about me, that I was wild and free. She was a lot freer back then, too, but now she’s a single mother.

That makes my heart ache, thinking of Sutton having a hard time without me.

I could have made her life so much easier. I could have helped.

She could have had an amazing life, and Ciara could have had anything she ever wanted.

It hurts that Sutton didn’t trust me to provide for her. I couldn’t seem to make her understand that.

“Were you?” Kael asks, jolting me out of my thoughts.

“Just as much as anybody when they’re young,” I say, an edge of defense to my voice. “She still should have told me.”

“Maybe she should have,” Kael agrees, stretching out his arms now. “But you know now. You can make up for the lost years.”

“Can I? Can you ever really make up for that kind of thing? I don’t even know her.”

My voice sounds gloomy even to my own ears, but I can’t help the way I feel.

I’ve missed out on so much, and Sutton’s to blame for that, no matter what my reasons. I missed her newborn stage, her first word, her first steps. All the things I dreamed of when I thought about having kids. I missed everything.

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